Lessons Through Getting Past What Makes Us Uncomfortable

The second BWCA was the one where we conquered Billy Goat Portage along with 4 other portages. It was a grueling trek in. We got in and were fatigued physically and mentally from the work of getting in. We stayed up to see the full moon but even this seemed like a lot of effort because of our fatigue. We went to bed that night and I thought we would sleep very very well. I was so wrong. It is normal for me to not sleep well the first night. The ground is hard; the outfitter provides us sleeping pads but they are less than an inch thick and really not much of an improvement from the ground.

Another reason for impaired sleep is the noises of the forest. Emy and I love to be in the forest but the noises are so different then what we hear at home it is always a little tricky to block it out and sleep that first night. I did start bringing a battery operated fan the 2nd year. This did help to block out the noises of the night. I am telling you if we could figure out how to make the kitchen sink fit we would have packed that sucker in too.

I woke up in the middle of the night. I am not sure what woke me or why I woke. I turned and noticed that Emy’s sleeping bag was empty. This made me nervous! Where was she? Had she been eaten by a bear? Was she okay? Was she sleep walking off to the land of Rumpelstiltskin? I had never woken in the middle of the night to find her space empty before. I put my hand down to push myself up and it splashed into a puddle. UGH! Wet Tent! Unfortunately, I had not put my clothes back into my waterproof bag before bed. Darn darn darn, wet clothes too. I made my way out of the cocoon like sleeping bag, and navigated myself out of the soggy tent.

It was raining outside. Emy had brought solar lights in this year and the moon was full and seemed to light the night even through the cloud cover. It was easy to see that Emy was not near our “kitchen” around the cooking grate. I did not see her sitting near the beach. The camp chairs were empty. I was going to have to look a little harder to find her. My anxiety was increasing now. Where could she be? Although the day had been warm, the night was chilly. I rounded the trees and headed toward our “bedroom” where we had put the cots up under a tarp.

It was there that I found my poor little soul sister. She sat on one of the cots, exhausted, wet, cold, and all together miserable. “Hi”, I said as I settled myself on the opposite cot. Emy explained to me that she had awoken in a puddle and come out here. It was easy to see she was not doing well. I cannot stress enough what a physical battle it had been getting in that year. We were sore everywhere and I am sure that we had completely depleted the little bit of food we had eaten the day before and probably our caloric intake from a few days before had been burned through.

Emy and I have a gift for feeling other people’s energy. We are especially good at feeling each other’s energy. Emy’s energy was not feeling good at all and in fact it felt like she was on the verge of really getting quite sick. I hated seeing this lovely soul feeling so miserable; having someone in the Boundary Waters who is not in good health (especially my dear friend) is not something I was wanting to deal with.

I set to work to get a fires started. I piled up some wood near the end of the cots. I hunted for some dry kindling and got everything stacked up. I worked at it until I managed to get a small fire burning to get rid of some of the chill. It was not an easy task since all of the wood was wet. Persistence pays off in the Boundary Waters, also I knew a few tricks. I used a little of the cooking oil we had packed in and poured it over the top of the wood. It was enough to burn away some of the moisture.

Now that the fire was combating the cool air I thought about what should happen next. Well “First” breakfast of course. We are both up and, although it is likely still not at all anywhere close to day break; we need the nutrition to replenish our bodies. So I gaily announced to Emy that I was going to make us hot tea and breakfast. I am a morning person. I must always remember that not everyone is a morning person. I wake up happy and motivated. I am chatty in the morning, and for my own self-preservation, I try and remember that not everyone is like me.

Non-morning people can really be annoyed by my morning bubbliness; can you imagine that? I went down to the lake to scoop us up some oh so not tasty water. I brought the two propane cook stoves over by the cots and got the water started on one. On the other I put a fry pan and started sautéing some of the peppers and onions that Emy had chopped up prior to us coming in. I so appreciated all the thought she put into our food. She would get fresh organic fruits and veggies and have them all cleaned and chopped up and ready for us to pack in.

Emy was still looking quite miserable. “You have got to get out of those wet clothes” I gently suggested. “Do you have anything that is dry?” I asked her. “I am not sure” she grunted in misery. “Go and try to find something, you will feel better if you are not wet”. I pushed, carefully. It is a fine balance when we are out in the wilderness together to allow each other independence, as we are both strong willed, independent women, but also caring for each other.

We love each other and both have a healthy respect for one another. Experiencing the things we do together on these BWCA Adventures brings up a lot of emotions and we also needed to allow space for us each to process whatever emotions we need to process. Because of this mutual love and respect, no matter what we have faced while in the Boundary Waters, we have never fought. Emy set off in search of warm clothes. I continued to cook us breakfast. Emy came back with dry clothes on. I gave her a cup of hot tea and a plate of potatoes and eggs with sautéed veggies scrambled into them. We ate, drank tea, and got warm inside and out.

The warmth of the fire, the warm food, and tea in our tummies started to make us sleepy. We then used an item I brought in on the first BWCA but had not used until this day. After this day it’s one of the items I would recommend everyone bring in with them when going on a BWCA adventure. An emergency blanket. It is a funny item and really is more of a trap that is red on one side and silver on the other. It even has rivet holes around the edges. I added wood to the fire to keep it going. I pushed my cot closer to Emy’s and covered us up with the “emergency blanket”.

This was defiantly and emergency, our sleeping bags wet, our tent full of puddles, and it still the middle of the night. When we were packing the cots in, I thought they were the worst idea, big, bulky and heavy; in this moment they were the most wonderful item I could think of. The plastic of the emergency blanket rustled and rattled with every little movement Emy and I made, but joyously we slept, anyway. We got the rest we needed to recover from our journey in, or at least start to recover. It took us pretty much until our trek back out to fully recover.

When we woke again it really was morning. The rain had past, thank goodness! We set to work stringing ropes all over camp to hang sleeping bags, clothes, and towels to dry. After “second” breakfast, of course! Here are a couple of hints; keep you clothes inside their waterproof bag and pitch your tent on the high spot in camp. One more hint, take this trip with a friend that you love like a sister. You will need this love to get you through the more challenging moments. When Emy and I talked about this experience at a later time, she said she was so miserable in the moment she could not even think to figure out how to get to a less negative state. Luckily Emy and I balance each other quite nicely and she supports me when I am low and vice versa, after all we are the Adventure Sisters.

We first name ourselves the Adventure Sisters at the end of our first BWCA adventure. We were sad to be leaving such a beautiful and peaceful place. As we were cleaning up our campground and following the “leave no trace” standard we realized we had extra wood. Fire wood in the forest is plentiful but not always easy to come by. Nature does not deliver it to your door in neatly cut manageable lengths. Emy is a wizard with the hand saw the outfitter provides. My legs are strong; I enjoy hiking, cycling, and running. Emy gardens and moves dirt, lots of dirt, with a shovel alone. Also being a massage therapist she moves muscle. Her upper body strength is nothing to take for granted. I tried to do my share of the sawing but it quickly became apparent that making tea and hauling wood back to camp were my talents.

Anyway, at the end of year number one we had a few of Emy’s finely sawed logs left over. We discussed how nice it would be for the next people who used the sight. We leaned them up against a tree. “Let’s leave a note”, one of us suggested. Of course the other whole heartedly agreed. We wrote a note about the beauty of this place and how it had affected us. We asked whoever stayed in the campsite after us; protect the beauty and the sanctity of this amazing place. We signed it, “The Adventure Sisters”.

The note was placed in a plastic bag with a couple of tea bags and fastened to the logs. We have always wondered who found the note and did it make a difference in their life? We hope so. Inspiring and caring for others in this life, is what makes life worth living, in my opinion. There are so many ways to inspire and care for others. It can be a kind word or a smile, a little bit of advice, or just being there for someone who is facing a time in their life when they are miserable. Kindness goes such a long way and it is such an easy thing to share. Smile at each other, be kind to each other, and watch the world change!

Lessons Through The Baggage We Carry With Us

Emy and I are not the types of women who need are hairdryer, a bag of makeup, and accessories to pack for a trip. I do happen to really love shoes, however. Packing for our BWCA trips has been an interesting journey all on its own. Why do we as women always seem to have so much baggage? Perhaps this is not confined to just woman, I can only speak from my experience. I sit in the airport waiting for a flight as I write this chapter. I am surrounded by people with all different amounts of baggage around me. Roller bags, backpacks, musical instrument cases, pet carriers, briefcases, paper bags of take-out food, duffel bags, and shopping bags. I am taking up 2 seats in the waiting area. I have my backpack which I use to lug around my work and personal laptops. This backpack weighs more than my checked bag. Yup, I check a bag pretty much every week; I need room for those shoes. I also have my purse and a glass of ice tea sitting on the chair next to me. Additionally I have a jacket, The Cloak of Protection (I will tell you more about that later).

When you venture out on a BWCA what you take with you is what you have until you are done. When you get to your campsite you have a pit toilet and a cooking grate. There are lots of trees and critters, lakes full of water and fish. That is all. There are suggested packing lists. These are very helpful. The outfitter sells packages; you can rent just a canoe, or you can also rent gear, or you can even have them pack you dehydrated food. Emy is gluten intolerant and I am a vegetarian. I do eat some fish (I get to make the rules for my life). The differences between our dietary needs made getting food from the outfitter, not an option. We did go with the canoe and gear option; thank goodness we did! We wouldn’t have had any idea what we needed to bring.

The first year we stuck pretty closely to the suggested packing list. We still had a ton of stuff. When we got to the portage it took us 2 or 3 trips to get canoe and gear across the portage. While on our first BWCA adventure we made a list of other things we thought would be handy to have with us when we were on our voyage. Between years 1 and two something shifted in us and we decided comfort was also important. Are you beginning to see this spiraling out of control? We did not. By the second year it was taking us a minimum of 3 trips for each of the 5 portages. The 3rd year we had 4 trips per portage worth of stuff.

Let me go back to the first year. As I said we stuck to the list the outfitter provided of suggested items to pack in with us. We were nervous and planned to stick to the suggestions like our life depended on it, after all, it might. In the BW you drink the lake water. This is a rare area of the world that is barley touch by the hand of humans. The water in the lakes is clear and clean; although not necessarily tasty. We bought bottles with filters in them that would allow us to drink out of the lake without fear of getting ill.

We planned to catch and eat fish but we also packed in a bag of potatoes, eggs, corn starch, nuts, and other items to eat. We brought our clothes; items all chosen from the recommended packing list. Rain gear, bug spray (both a common DEET containing brand and a couple of holistic versions made from essential oils), emergency blanket, fishing gear, and flash lights. The first year was our shortest trip and we did not use everything we brought. It rained and was cool so our clothes were much appreciated. There were times when it didn’t seem we could get warm and dry. We had a fire burning almost all of the time to combat the cool dampness. Leaving we were lighter because we had used the cooking oil, eaten the potatoes and most of the other food.

The second year we were staying an extra day, but when we got to the outfitters we impulsively added a 4th night. This was the year of comfort, haha. We packed in cots, Emy froze a case of 16oz bottles of water and we packed in more food and ice. We also decided a box of wine and flask of vodka were a good idea. This is a slippery slope my friend, because now we needed OJ too. We brought extra tarps and extra clothes to be sure we would have something dry to wear. We had more bags and we had heavier bags. Oh the baggage!

This was the year we portaged the most; we planned on 7 portages and made 5 of them (more about that later). This was also the year with the most challenging and treacherous portages. I added up the weight of the items in the food pack while we hiked one of the 1/2 mile portages. With the ice, bottled water, food, and dry ice, I estimated that the food pack weighed about 100 pounds. I tried to carry this pack and it would throw my balance off. Emy who is much shorter then I am picked it up and heave hoed it across all but the 1st portage. She is a little mighty mouse. There were a couple of times when I had to push from behind or help her get back up when she fell but she was awesome!

This was another important lesson we learned. We all have different gifts and it is okay that they are not the same. Emy could carry the 100 pound food pack like nobody’s business! But due to her height the canoe was difficult for her. I could more easily carry the canoe because my height made it easier to balance. There were other things too that we discovered. It is like the quote, “If you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life thinking it is stupid”. I think it was Albert Einstein who said that. Be proud of the gifts you have and appreciate others for the gifts they have, even when, or better yet, especially when they are different than yours.

After the trek of the second year we decided that there were lighter ways to be comfortable. We replaced the cots with camping hammocks and blankets. We still brought the bottled water and ice but spilt it into two separate coolers. On the 2nd year Emy and I had duplicated a lot of items and so we thought we would get smarter packing for the 3rd year. I asked Emy to be in charge of who was to bring what. I was in Florida the weekend prior to our BWCA trip so I asked her to be in charge of the food and just make me a list of everything else. She thankfully made me a list.

I brought everything she had assigned to me. She packed us a feast. When we got to the outfitters and we were packing our ginormous green bags, we discovered that something had gone wrong. Instead of having the traditional 3, then 4 green bags, this year we had 5 big green bags. How had this happened? We additionally had a backpack cooler; Emy’s daughter had given her as a gift, plus we both had our traditional day packs. This is a standard backpack that we used to take day trips and have snack and necessities (like a roll of TP, hand sanitizer, compass, bug replant, etc.) for the voyage in and voyage out.

We had been so careful to lighten our load. Now organization had been an issue for us this year. Emy is a Virgo, very organized. I have Virgo rising in my chart so I am typically fairly organized also. But this year the stars were simply not aligned and we were both feeling scattered. Was it possible that the increasing birth of our baggage simply due to disorganization? We really just could not understand it. We made it in and set up house, organization was still not in the cards for us. The energy shifted before we left and we were back to being the queens of organization for the journey back out.

While being in the BW there is time. The days stretch out. As Emy noted, they are like those long summer days of childhood. There is a lot to do, cooking, making tea, gathering wood, tending the fire, washing dishes, catching and cleaning fish (if that is a choice you make) while in the BW. Despite all of these chores that must be done there is still plenty of time in every day.

We had brought in a lot of duplicates of items. We had a gallon zip lock of granola bars, 7 long handled lighters, 2 large containers of cut up melon, multiple bottle of various bug spray, four boxes of fire starters, 2 bottle of sunscreen. Why did we have such a need to bring in so many of certain items? I think I had packed 17 rolls of camping TP as well as 6 small hand sanitizers and 1 large one. Why did we feel the need for all of this baggage? We come to the BW to get rid of our mental emotional baggage; is there a correlation between the two? Probably.

It is a lovely thing. We would chat. We would journal. We would rest. We would go on mini adventures. It was while I was lying on our rocky shore soaking up the sunshine that it hit me. It was a fear of not having enough.

Apparently Emy and I were both sharing this fear this year. Emy and I really see these things as symbolic. “As above, so below” is a spiritual principle. External also reflects internal. Our fear of not having enough in life was manifesting in us packing way to much stuff. What really was it that we feared? Not enough money? Not enough love? Not enough energy? Not enough time? These and likely many more.

We live in an amazing world of abundance. I know there are times when it is hard to see this or hard to believe but it is true. Believe in the possibilities of abundance; it is a great place to start if you are having trouble. Belief in possibilities is a great spell. It unravels potential and allows it to circle all around you. Once this was in our conscious awareness Emy and I could shift our thinking and start believing in the possibilities. There would be plenty of money to do what we want to do. There would be an overflowing amount of love for both of us. We would have an abundance of energy to complete all of our tasks and any other items we chose to have on our agendas. We would slow down time in such a way that there would be more than enough time for everything.

Getting to know yourself and having a true awareness as to why we do the things we do is a gift. It is a gift ripe with potential ready to bloom and grow and change your life in such magical and beautiful ways. When Emy and I started on our BWCA adventures we thought we were going to do something fun. We dreamed of canoeing, camping, being amongst nature. We could not even have begun to fathom the amount of “self-work” we would both be doing. We could not have predicted how it would change us and how it would improve our lives. These little lessons and awareness’s that came to us were true gifts. We are very grateful for the experiences and opportunities that transformed us in such powerful ways.

As with the spiral, the lessons in life come back and repeat time and time again. Each time they repeat we are better able to manage our way through them.

I eventually began traveling for work Monday – Thursday almost every week of the year. We were expected to carry on our bag, as we often had to be rerouted due to the needs of the company. I learned to pack lite. I began to love packing lite. I do not carry a purse anymore as I have a wallet case on my cell phone. This made for very easy and efficient travel and has improved my life.

One of the interesting side effects of learning to pack lite in my work life was how it affected how much I wanted to carry with me in my personal life. In the end it is what caused the end of my joining Emy on the Boundary Waters trips. I was having anxiety at the thought of all the baggage and having to portage it. One year this even landed me in the ER with chest pain. Another year I told Emy I agreed to go but I wanted to pack lite. She agreed and we started planning. While planning she mentioned the cooler she was planning to bring. It completely triggered my Fight/Flight/Freeze response. I backed out at the last minute choosing to take our camper and go on a solo camping trip. I invited Emy to join me but she had her heart set on the BWCA. I am grateful that although upset with me, frustrated, and disappointed, Emy forgave me. We both had our separate adventures that year.

How is it that stuff can have such a hold on us? The fear of having stuff and the fear of not having stuff. I am far from having this figured out. I am more willing and able to look deeply at myself and see why I do the things I do. When something causes an emotional response within me, I am better equipped to look inside and see why I feel triggered rather than trying to make the other person wrong, or blaming them for my response. These trips to the BWCA, taught me so much about myself, including how much I have to learn and how I do not have all the answers. Even all these years after that first trip, I am still learning by reflecting on the experiences we had there.

Lessons Through Doing What You Have Never Done Before

Our first BWCA adventure started on a cool northern Minnesota late summer/early fall morning, drizzle and fog in the air. The outfitter drove us to a lake out in the middle of nowhere, and at the drop-off point he took our canoe from the top of the old van and set our packs down in the gravel. As he headed back to the van to leave, I asked, “How do we load the canoe?” With a smirk he showed us how to load the ginormous green packs into the canoe to balance the weight, then got in his van and drove away. We would have no contact with the outfitter again until a driver picked us up at the same location in three days. I’ve never felt such stillness—utter silence and the lake like glass. The sun was just starting to rise, but the misty nature of the day kept everything gray. I was brimming with nervous energy. I had no idea what I was getting us into when I bought the GroupOn.

I am so grateful to have found Emy in this lifetime. It’s amazing when you find someone who is part of your soul group. You know instantly that this person belongs in your life. I am sure you’ve met people that you just seem to click with easily. It’s a magical thing when it happens, and it happened with Emy. I always have the sense of being at home with her.

When we were trading our Reiki sessions I felt a naturalness and ease in being around her. We had traded a few times when I found a class I thought we would both be interested in. I asked her to go with me. We were driving down the road, and I thought how great it was that we are doing it together, because I felt so comfortable with her. Though we hadn’t known each other that long, I considered her a dear friend, someone I already loved. (Emy will tell you I told her I loved her the first time we traded. I don’t remember that, but if Emy says it is so, then it is so.) As we drove she started asking me questions: “So, do you have kids?”… “Are you married?” … It was suddenly apparent that this beautiful soul was a stranger to me in this lifetime.

I had, at that time been married twice, and thanks to the BWCA, I am married for a third and final time. But this time I married a man who I get that same instant click with that I felt with Emy. As I do revisions to this installment, it is the 9 year anniversary of the Best First Date Ever. It has been quite a journey to get me to this place, but that is another story.

For now, I am a 52-year-old woman with three beautiful daughters and one son (step-son but in my heart son) and six adorable grandchildren. I work a very magical and creative job for a hospice company, helping find better ways to provide critical services to our terminally ill patients and their families. My teammates and I get to create innovative programs and bring forward ideas to enhance services making them a reality. At one time, I opened my own holistic healing business, but quickly learned being a business owner was not the right path for me. I would rather work for someone else and know what money is coming through the door. We all have our own paths. I admire people like Emy who run their own business and make it a success. I will tell you, it is a lot of work.

My mother is a smart woman, and she likes to avoid risks. My brother and I were raised on being safe. Needless to say, my folks were a little worried about me setting off into the wilderness with a friend they did not know. As Emy and I talked to people about planning our BWCA adventure, we heard all sorts of stories. Mosquitoes so big they would carry us off. Bears that would eat us up. And portaging. Having never heard of portaging, I did what anyone with a smartphone and laptop would do—I googled it. What the heck! I saw images of people carrying a canoe by themselves on their shoulders, and immediately knew that just wasn’t happening. I can be a bit stubborn from time to time; I figured I would grab one end and Emy would grab the other; there was no way I was going to pick up and carry a canoe on my shoulders.

Emy and I are not women who will be defeated. Nope, no way. Whatever the challenge, we will figure out a way to use it to our advantage. When we got to Ely the first year we went to the bear center to learn about bears. We discovered that if you make noise in the forest, black bears will typically run away. We learned how to hang our food packs in a tree to keep goodies out of the bears’ reach. Once we arrived at the outfitters, they showed us how to get the canoe up onto our shoulders so we could easily portage it to the next lake. We learned a lot that first year!

So as the outfitter drove away, leaving us in the middle of nowhere, we stood there: two middle-aged (I was 41 at that time), ordinary women who had never, ever, ever done anything like this before. The closest thing was a little kayaking together on the Mississippi River. I had done some canoeing and kayaking on the lake where my folks have their summer cabin. An adventure of this magnitude was brand new to us. We were really on our own out in the wilderness, completely alone on a lake in the middle of Superior National Forest. We looked at each other, smiled, loaded up the canoe, and set off on the water with our map.

We made good time across the lake. The water was calm, with no wind, and we hadn’t overpacked that first year. Once across the lake we pulled up to what we thought was the portage. Let me tell you something, portages are generally not short. This one was a flat gravel path, probably less than a quarter of a mile, but it felt very long! Oh, how little we knew that first year. We pulled our canoe up into the gravel and pulled out our four big packs and two little backpacks. Each of us grabbed a pack and set off for the other end of the portage. It was a bit of a walk, and would have been shorter if we had pulled up to the right place, which was further along down the shore. Once we noticed our mistake we put the canoe back in the water. The grating of the canoe on the gravel woke a man who was snoring loudly in a small tent pitched along the gravel trail. The outfitter had dropped us off at about 5:30 am, so it was probably somewhere around 6:30 am when we disturbed the poor man’s sleep. Emy said, “Sorry, dude,” to apologize for waking him.

Of course we had to try carrying the canoe together, which did not work at all. When we eventually gave up, Emy helped me get the canoe up on my shoulders, and… Holy cow, I was doing it! I was carrying a flipping canoe on my shoulders all by myself. What a crazy and amazing feeling: I am woman, hear me roar! The first year, and every year since, our trips through the BWCA provided so many “Wow, I can’t believe I am doing this, but I am!” moments.

This trip came four years after my second marriage had ended; a marriage which had severely shaken my self-esteem. Bariatric surgery about six years before this trip and a solid, rewarding career had helped build my confidence again. The spirituality I was learning also helped me reclaim—more truthfully find for the first time—my self-value. I had started on this spiritual journey without realizing it and was diving deeply in the year I met Emy. These annual voyages out into nature with her have been a huge piece of this journey for me. I grew up in North Dakota; I have lived in Montana, Florida, Minnesota, and Wisconsin. When we moved to Wisconsin, I told my husband, 5 down 45 to go. I have been a bit of a nomad, but seriously love where I live now in the St Croix River Valley. My, how my life has changed since I reached adulthood, since the first BWCA adventure, and even since I first wrote this installment in the series 9 years ago.

Emy’s and my relationship is interesting for many reasons. One of the ones that stands out to me the most is that we are two sides to the same coin. We are both ordinary women with intuitive and healing gifts. Emy works from home and gardens; I spent a great part of my career hopping on a plane for work and ate out virtually every meal. Emy will do what needs to be done herself; I will find someone to help me or hire someone to do it. Emy loves her pets; I love my pet-free life. Emy has friends she grew up with here in MN; I have friends I have made across the country. Emy is outspoken and says what she thinks; I am quiet and more likely to listen and consider. Emy loves to be at home; I love to travel, anywhere and everywhere. Emy is a Virgo and I am a Pisces, astrological signs that are complementary opposites of each other. I think that is why we appreciate and respect our differences. I recently learned that in some philosophical interpretations of astrology, the signs across the zodiac are really the same sign but different places on the spectrum. This would make sense with Emy and I learning similar lessons from different sides to hopefully meet in the middle. Whatever the reason, these differences, with the respect and love we share for each other, make this relationship magical.

Both Emy and I were excited about this voyage despite our anxiety of being two women alone in the forest. My dad had insisted that I bring along a compass, although I wasn’t sure I even knew how to use one. Had we gotten lost, it wouldn’t have helped us, but knowing we had it made my dad feel better so I was happy to carry it.

Few people venture into the remote Boundary Waters Wilderness Area, so once there, you are isolated. The lake that was our destination has only two campsites. Most people who camp in the BWCA move their campsite each night and come out at a different point than they entered.

Not Emy and I. We set up house for four days: storing our cookware near the cooking grate, spreading tarps to protect our gear and ourselves from rain, hanging the camping toilet paper and hand sanitizer from a convenient branch on the way to the pit toilet (more about that later). We felt triumphant! We had a home for the next couple of days, and it felt like one of those rare moments when all is right with the world and nothing can get you down.

As I wrote this chapter, my brother texted to tell me one of his coworkers was killed in a motorcycle accident. I want to stress this point: Life is short and we do not know when the end of the journey will come. Don’t let fear hold you back from living life. Don’t put off those things you really want to do, always thinking there will be a better time to do it.

As part of my work I am on a Death Doula Task Force. We created a Death Doula training program for our hospice volunteers. We are continually learning and improving the program. If you do not know what a Death Doula is, think of it as a life coach for the end-of-life time. As a part of creating and revising this program we read a book called A Year to Live by Stephen Levine. The book shares his experience with picking a death date a year in the future and then living that year as if it was his last. Our group decided to try the experiment. As someone who believes, “what you think about you bring about”, I was a bit hesitant to set a death date but wanted the experience to have greater empathy for those who are terminal. It was very interesting to look at choices in how I spent my time with the idea that it was limited. It was interesting to see who I wanted to be with and how I wanted to be with those around me. I do not think this experiment could really let me understand what it would be like to have a year to live, but it certainly gave me a lot to reflect on and to think about.

I’m not saying to live irresponsibly. Life is full of choices. What is important to you? How do you want to spend your time here? If you knew you wouldn’t be alive tomorrow, what would you be sorry you never got a chance to do or experience? Emy and I could have decided we were too scared, or too busy, or couldn’t afford the trip, or the time wasn’t right. Instead we said, “What the heck, why not?” and jumped with both feet into not only being alive but truly and fully living our life. And because of that choice, our life grew and changed in ways we never saw coming.

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face”

~Eleanor Roosevelt

“Do one thing everyday that scares you”

~Mary Schmich

Lessons Through Getting to the Next Level

When my friend Emy showed me a GroupOn for a 3 day 2 night canoe trip, it sounded so fun. This was early in April 2013. We talked about and decided against it; but, I couldn’t get it out of my mind. It kept floating into my mind. I would push it away and remind myself that we decided we couldn’t or wouldn’t do it; still it nagged on. It was late on the last day of the GroupOn and somehow I still could not get past the feeling that this was something I needed to do. I impulsively bought 2 GroupOns; one for me and one for Emy. I hoped she would be okay with it; I hoped that those past reservations would be lifted and she would agree to go with me. I messaged her the next day and told her what I had done, and I waited somewhat anxiously for her reply.

Gratefully her reply was a resounding “YIPPY”. I had no idea how this one impulsive purchase was going to change my life and change me. The fun was reason enough to keep going on our Boundary Water Canoe Area (BWCA) adventures; the personal growth was the cherry on top.

Emy and I experienced so much personal growth, even the first year we talked about leading other women on similar adventures. It was during the 3rd year that the idea of writing a book together was first born. We have both always felt that there is a book inside of us. I do not know all these years later if having a published book is in the cards for me. I am open to it not being part of my future. I am working to live in the flow with life and allowing Spirit to work through me and guide me on whatever path that may be. Together Emy and I wrote three books from our BWCA adventures. Spirit has been guiding me to share the installments I wrote on my blog. When I shared this idea with Emy, she was on board. It has taken a couple years to get from the idea to the actual re-reading and revising the chapters into blogs. Emy shared with me how much more complete the various writings seem when we can look at them with new eyes several years later. The first trip took place in 2013 and the writing about it came a couple years later.

In the past I struggled with what to write about. I wanted it to be fun and uplifting. As a Hospice Nurse, I have learned that life is way too short to not have fun. I also want to inspire people. We are all capable of such great things! Too often, in life, we get messages that diminish our expansiveness and capabilities. Emy and I want to help you find that expansiveness and capabilities within yourself. This idea came to us, as all great ideas do, out of the blue. We were sitting around the campfire or the cook stove (I don’t remember which exactly); on the 2nd day of the 3rd year it just popped out of Emy’s mouth. Telling her, “I like the way you think”, had been a theme the third year and once again I told her this.

Over the rest of our 3rd year Adventure we started planning and jotting down stories that were fun and/or inspiring. The birth of an idea is such a wonderful thing. From the initial conception, through the gestation, into the labor of making it a reality, until out pops the “baby” which has taken so much of your time and effort. It is a beautiful process.

As I started this creative effort, I spent time contemplating where to start. Is it the story of “Release the Worms” or the personal journey of getting to what “Lessons through Joy” really means. In the end I decided, the intention behind these writings was where I must start. If I want you to you spend your very valuable time reading what we have written, the very most important thing is to let you know, we have written this because we want to share with you our amazing journey, in hopes of inspiring you to take your own leap of faith and find out who you really are and what you are capable of.

It is important to let you know that we are not some kind of “experts” with a theory of what you must follow if you want to be happy. We are two ordinary women, with very different lives, who magically came together. We made many mistakes on this journey. Many! We learned through our mistakes and became better people for them. We have experienced so much fun and growth and we want to inspire you to find fun and growth in your life. We want to share with you the stories of our experiences. We want to inspire you to go have adventures of your own. We want to share our laughter, our contemplations, and our tears, in hopes that it will enrich your life in some way. We want to help you find the magic that is all around us in our everyday lives. It is there, I assure you. You only have to look for it.

During our relationship, Emy and I have shared: fun, setbacks, growth, struggle, silliness, more than a few bottles of wine, and supported each other through good and bad. We do not always see eye to eye, but we have a healthy respect for one another and each other’s opinions. We have had these amazing adventures which have helped us become better people than we were prior to our first adventure. “Better people” sounds like such a judgement; I want to be clear that I judge myself not against other people. I am not this “high and mighty” person who thinks I am so much better then someone else. The only person I can compare myself to, is the person I was previously. Personal growth and being the best Stacy I can be is at the core of who I am. It even shows up in my astrology.

We are all in our own separate place on this journey through life. I am where I am. You are where you are. If you are reading this, and you feel inspired to level up, that is great. If you feel compelled to carry on as you are, that’s great too. I wish happiness, lessons through joy, and dreams come true for you. You get to decide what is right for you and when you feel a call, you get to decide if you want to follow it or not. No judgement and no “shoulding”.

The idea of “Level up” was born during the second BWCA. It was on a rainy day sitting in our “bedroom”. So many of the really great things that happened, happened on rainy days. Life is really funny like that, isn’t it? Who wouldn’t want sunshine on vacation, right? Especially when you are extreme “roughing it” camping. These trips would not have had the same richness without the rain. Not only does the “rain” in life help you appreciate the “sunshine”, but also it is a catalyst for growth. Those days in life that we really wish wouldn’t have happen spurred us on. They make us reach for the next rung on the ladder.

The second year we decided we would like some comfort on our trip so we packed in cots. After a daunting trip in, we set up our tent and went to put up our luxury item, the cots. They didn’t fit in the tent. Emy and are not women who will be defeated. We had an extremely spacious campsite that year. Space is something there is a lot of in the Boundary Waters (BW). There was a little clearing in the woods not too far from where we put our tent. We strung a tarp from the trees, (rope, budgie cords, and zip ties are some of our best friends on these adventures), and set up our cots underneath. This became known as our bedroom for this trip. When it rained one whole day that year, we passed the day sitting on the cots and talking like two little girls at a slumber party. It was on this rainy day slumber party that we came up with the idea of “Level up”.

“Level up” is like when you are playing a video game and you complete the current level. Obviously you are capable of the challenges that particular level of the game had to offer. To keep you challenged and interested in the game, the game’s creator gives you a more challenging level. This is the meat and potatoes of “Level up”. In life as we rise to the occasions that come across our path we gain tools in our tool box to deal with these types of challenges.

Think back to when you first did something. I traveled a lot in the course of my job so let’s use that as an example. The first time I flew somewhere alone was challenging and intimidating for me. I was nervous about going through security, and what I could and couldn’t pack in my bags. Navigating my way through the airports and the stress of making my connecting flight caused me to break out in sweats. I would fly alone once or twice a year for personal reasons and slowly I started to level up. I became more confident and less intimidated by the process. Once I started traveling for work and was flying 2 days a week, I became very confident with my “skills” in this area. Airports no longer intimidate me. I breeze through security with a cheerful greeting to the TSA agents. I however have only traveled overseas a few times. International travel still holds some of the anxiety for me that domestic travel did initially. I have leveled up in this area; I have certainly not completed the game.

The challenges we face in life help us to level up. For Emy and me, the BWCAs were a process of leveling up every year. Things that we did for the first time the first year, by the third year we were taking for granted. Leveling up can happen in a very ordinary way like the first time Emy and I had to wash dishes in a lake. By the 3rd BWCA we did not even consider this a challenge. We simply would head to the shore with our scrubby pad and environmentally friendly soap and squat down and wash our dishes. This leveling up continued when we learned that was not the best way to wash your dishes and it is better to wash in a pan and let the ground filter the grey water before it gets to the lake. It was a continual process of learning. Leveling up also happens emotionally and psychologically. The first year we had a lot of anxiety about being out in the wilderness, 2 women alone. By the 2nd year we were increasing our length of trip from 2 nights to 4 nights. We became more confident in our inner strength and determination.

During our BWCAs we would have breakthroughs and process past experiences. We hope that in some way, big or small, these writings will inspire you to go out on a limb and try something new; or even, just look at the things in your life in a new way. This is why we have gone through the gestation and labor of these writings, our baby. We hope you will enjoy it. It is our deepest wish that your life is enriched by our adventures.

I Promise to Myself

There is so much going on in the world around us. Things that we judge to be good and things that we judge to be bad. We have no control over it. This is very stressful. Feels like we are always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I choose not to focus on all that is going on “out there”. I am choosing to put my focus on what I can control, me. I can control that I get out of bed and meditate, everyday. I can control that I get out there and go for a run, at least 3 days a week. I can control that I get out into to nature multiple times a week, which lifts my spirit and improves my health. These are the promises I make to myself.

My friend and Adventure sister, Emy, introduced me, a couple years ago, to a song. The song is I Am the Fire by Halestorm. It is very motivational. I have it in my running playlist, because it reminds me that my commitment to run is a promise that I made to myself. It is not for anyone else. It is just for me. If I don’t go run in the morning, it does not hurt anyone else. I would be letting myself down. It is with that in mind that I slip into my running shoes and head out the door at least 3 days every week.

In the past when I made promises to myself it was easy to step away from them, because I wasn’t letting anyone else down. When in reality I was letting the most important person down, myself. The promises we make to ourself deserve the same importance as the promises we make to others. We deserve the same commitment and devotion we show others. So how do we break through the barriers that may try to hold us back?

For me is a no negotiation policy. I just know that Monday, Wednesday, and Friday are running days. Meditation happens every morning. There is no option for later. In the past I always embraced flexibility in my self care practices, but I found that for me, that led to excuse making and procrastination. Once you procrastinate late enough into the day, it is easy to move it to the next day, until it doesn’t happen.

I don’t have all the answers. I can’t tell you what may work for you. All I know is what has helped me. This blog is really just me sharing my rambling thoughts, with the hope that someone will find some inspiration or a little bit of helpful information that I have learned along my journey.

I love you! Thank you for reading my blog today. May you make and keep promises to yourself. You are worth it! May you also remember, it is okay to be a work in progress.

Spring Equinox

The Spring Equinox is the time in the year when we can start to walk away from winter and enter a time of new life, rebirth, and growth. At Equinox there is a perfect balance between the hours of night and day. It is a wonderful time to do some self-reflection and find balance within our lives. This is because balance is important when working to achieve overall wellness. Winter is a harsh time, filled with darkness, cold, and hibernation. As we say goodbye to winter, it is a good time to reflect on the defeat of the season. Defeat or failure is a part of life. We all face it in different ways throughout our lives. We tend to see it as a negative, but what if it is really freedom?

Reflect on:

What happens when we reframe the experience of failure to see it as freedom?

What happens when we start to see it as a shedding, like when a snake sheds it skin?

What if we see it like a chipping away. Imagine chipping away at stone to find the crystal hidden within.

This is a time to shed ways of thinking that no longer serve us and create self-imposed blockages. We can now tear down the walls of self-imposed limitations. What self-imposed limitations or blockages would you like to be free from?

Spring is a time of many things; fresh growth, new life, and a clean start. It is also a time of storms. When we step into the chaos of the spring storms, we can embrace the power of change that is waiting there for us. When we do not suppress what is in us, yearning to get out, we have the opportunity to grow. I want to be ready for the changes that are coming to the surface within me. It is now, in the spring, that those things that have been incubating come to life. This is a profound transformation, if you think about it. We can all enjoy this same profound transformation. Through upheaval, renewal is found.

On the equinox there is a balance between day and night. Let us call on this balance within ourselves and bring forth the beauty that is within us yearning to come forth. This can be a balance of many things.

Work and play
Feminie and masculine
Positive and negative
Progress and rest
Light and dark
Those things we judge to be assets and those we judge to be detrimental
And many more…

As we move forward into spring, it is a great time to take your personal wellness to the next level. Reflect upon what is waiting to be born from you. Look at the judgements you have placed on what is good and what is bad and see if you can find the light in the darkness and vise versa. Allow the transformation of Spring to transform you too.

Thank you for reading my blog today. May you find growth awakening within you as new life brings forth in nature. Many blessings to you.

It was a Struggle

This morning’s run was a struggle. When the alarm went off, signaling it was time to get up and get started on my mornings healthy habits, I did not want to get out of bed. The alarm was snoozed and snoozed again. Eventually my commitment pulled me out of bed and downstairs to my meditation space. My mind was restless and I had to continually pull myself back to focusing on my breathing. I found myself peaking at the timer before I hit the 20 minute mark. Still I persisted and continued to sit quietly for the whole 20 minutes.

Next it was time for my run. It was 31 degrees out. The ice has melted off the driveway, so an outdoor run was called for. I began my warm up walk on the frozen gravel road. The air was crisp and calm. I could feel the resistance in my muscles even on the warm up walk. I pushed on, being my usual Stacy Sunshine, believing it was going to get better. Once the running began, it was still difficult. My muscles felt tight. I was short of breath. The hill seemed way more steeper than most mornings. I walked more than I ran.

I continued to push on. Convinced I could “positive think” myself out of the struggle. The full moon was setting over the hill in the distance. It was beautiful to behold. There was a pink tint to it in the early morning lavender sky. It felt inspiring to see it so large in the sky. It did not make the run any easier though. I completed my run, although I did not stick to the C25K algorithm completely. Although my time was the same as my run 2 days before, my distance was slightly shorter. Even though I got out there and did it, it still felt like a failure.

Why are some days like this? My day yesterday was stressful and full of intense emotions. I am recovering from a mild case of COVID, so perhaps that played in. The food choices I made yesterday were not as exemplary as I would have liked. When I weighed this morning, my weight was up slightly, causing me some disappointment. Was it any one of these things? Was it the combo deal of all of them? Should I blame it on the full moon?

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter why today was a tough day to take care of me. What does matter is that I got out there and took care of me. I continued my commitment to myself. I may repeat this run tomorrow, in order to be true to the walk/run ratios called for in the C25K program. If I don’t, know one would know or care, but I would be letting myself down. Commitment to ones self is of the highest importance.

Not everyday is going to be perfect. Not everyday is going to feel like a huge flaming ball of success. In fact, I believe, it is these days that are struggles, that we gain the most from. It is on these days that we remind ourself, we can push through. We can do what once seemed impossible. It is on these days that we grow! Keep those commitments to yourself. It is worth it. Push beyond the story in you head that says, “go back to bed”. In the end, you will be glad you did. I am very glad that I still meditated and ran today. Even though my experience was one of difficulty, I checked the boxes and got it done. Tomorrow is another day.

Thank you for reading my blog today. May you find the gumption within yourself to push through even when it feels difficult.

Capeesh?!

Life in a pandemic has taught us how very little control we have. For me, and perhaps many of you, feeling out of control can be very frustrating and induce a lot of stress. I have long heard that control is an illusion and truthfully the only thing we have control over is our reactions. I feel sometimes I don’t even have much control over my reactions. Being self aware and noticing how you are reacting and exploring where those reactions are coming from can be very helpful; but also very difficult to do in the heat of the moment.

The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem.”
Captain Jack Sparrow

I catch myself getting all wrapped up into what seems like the problem. I get stuck spiraling into unhelpful thoughts about what I think the problem is. But when I breathe, and take a minute to look at why I am feeling the way I am feeling, often there is a different cause. I am not saying that there are not problems. There are, everywhere. So unless we understand what triggers us to respond to these issues in the way that we do, we will be forever whipped around, a prisoner to our emotional response. Emotions can be very helpful in motivating us, but they also can be detrimental when we find ourself in a situation where the outcome we desire is not achievable.

There are things that I know trigger an emotional response in me. I like to be in control, so when I feel out of control, this can cause a lot of stress for me. When COVID first started I had a job where I experienced change on a weekly basis, sometime more often. Those changes were predictable changes. Once the Pandemic started, I was experiencing unpredictable changes. It cause me a lot more stress. I am flexible person. I enjoy change. Being fluid and in the moment, is how I do my best work. So I was surprised in how the unpredictability of life really got to me.

Awareness is the first step. When we examine the thoughts we have around the “problem” we can better understand why we are shaken when presented with the problem. Having this understanding gets us closer to being at peace; despite the situation we find ourselves within. Once we can see what is bring up our emotions and that it is really more about us than the perceived problem; we can start to work on this aspect of us.

It is important to have some strategies to get past these emotions or as Captain Jack Sparrow says, “…[our] attitude about the problem”.

Breathe – take a deep breath, center yourself, and just feel the emotion.
Acknowledge – emotions are not good or bad, they just are. Acknowledge what you are feeling. Give yourself permission to feel it.
Be Present – be present in the moment. Notice what is around you. What do you hear, see, smell, feel, taste? Notice that in this moment you are safe and everything is okay.
Understand – attempt to understand what is causing you to feel so …whatever you are feeling. If you can name what is behind the emotion it can be helpful in gaining understanding. For example: I feel frustrated at a lack of control because I have a fear of failure.
Calming ritual – create yourself with a calming ritual. What this is may differ on where you are and this will be very individualized to each person. Some ideas are:
- cup of herb tea
- lighting a candle
- carry a “worry stone” that you can hold or rub your thumb against
- take a series of slow, deep breaths
- recite a poem, prayer, or mantra (out loud or internally)
- have a mint or piece of gum
- take a walk outside
- rub some lotion on your hands
Carry on mindfully – once you have gained awareness you can carry on with your day. You will have a better understanding of why you were so upset and have taken some action to become present and understand you cannot change the problem – only your reaction.
Take action if it still seems necessary – once you have done all of this, depending on what the perceived problem was, there still may need to be action taken on your part. Now that your mind is clearer and you are not as caught up in the emotional response, you can attempt to make a plan.
Repeat as necessary – depending on what is going on you may find yourself needing to use these strategies over and over again. It will get easier as you practice.

I love the Serenity Prayer.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.

I think there is a lot of wisdom in this prayer. There are things we cannot change. Things we have no control over whatsoever. Then there are things we can change. Often that is us and how we deal with what we cannot change. Working on ourselves is some of the hardest work, but also the most beneficial work we can ever do. Knowing what things we can affect and what things we cannot affect will give us much more peace, rather than banging our heads against the wall trying to change the unchangeable.

I also believe in the benefit of planting seeds, but that is for another blog. Thank you for reading my blog today. May you find peace within the storm. May you find the calm pool of serenity within yourself.

I am 50

This morning, When I awoke, I had entered my 6th decade in this lifetime. I am half a century old. When I was a child, 50 seemed so very ancient. Now that I am here, I feel like it is the best age of my life, so far!

I have never dreaded getting older. Age is a state of mind. I certainly do not feel like what I would have thought 50 should feel like. I intend that my 50s will be amazing! I feel there is a freedom to this stage of my life. I care much less about what anyone else expects of me. I work hard and play harder. My husband and I have a beautiful symbiotic relationship. We work in harmony but also have our independence. Our children are grown and doing well. Our grandchild are a joy and remind us to stay young at heart.

As my heath goals take front and center; I reflect on how my age may play a role in my determination to make progress to the best shape of my life. Perhaps it does have something to do with turning 50. Ultimately the reason does not matter. What matters is that I feel inspired. I love my life! I enjoy each run, hike, and mediation. Each day I find that I am seeing improvements in my emotional and physical health and wellbeing and my spiritual connection remains a place of comfort and support.

Whatever age you are, enjoy it! Make it the best year of your life, so far! You deserve to enjoy every moment! They won’t all be perfect but breathe through the tough moments and embrace the joyful ones!

Thank you for reading my blog today! I love you. May you live you best life!

Self-Sabotage?

Over and over again in life, I will be plugging away at some goal or some dream, when it suddenly falls all apart. It feels like a failure. It is frustrating to see all that hard work end up being for nothing, or so it seems. How anytime in our lives can we look back and see this same pattern? We have almost touched the finish line, after striving for so long and so hard, then we trip and never get across it. In reflection on my own history I can’t help but wonder if some of these instances were self-sabotage. Were there feelings of not being “good enough” or “worthy” that cause excuses to come up and block progress. Let’s look at some examples and dig a little deeper into this idea.

Weight loss: How many times have I been making great progress losing weight. I am working out, eating right, and the pounds are coming off. Then all of a sudden I completely binge on something and all bets are off. The diet is out the window and I am putting the weight back on. If I was successful for so long, why am I all of a sudden no longer capable? I have heard the idea that people may keep extra weight on as a type of protection. Could I be using weight as a way to feel safe? Could I be using it to hide from whom I am meant to be?

Running: I have thought, over the years, of running a half marathon in each of the 50 states. I have had goals of running a full marathon. I successfully trained and finished 3 half marathons. My time was not fast, but I was only in it, to do it. The joy of running and participating in a road race is amazing. It is fun and invigorating. I have done multiple 5Ks and a few 10Ks and even a 10 miler, over the years. I love doing them. The last half marathon and 5K I did were in 2015. I had been running for several years at that point but I hurt my knee and that was it. I believed that I couldn’t do it any more. I would feel the urge, year after year. Usually the autumn would call me to the running trails (as that was the start of the running season when I lived in Florida). It didn’t work so well for me to get back to running in the North country. I would use the Snow, the cold, my knee pain, my busy schedule, and every other excuse not to run anymore. Even at one point saying I was too old and that part of my life was over. Now, 7 years later, I am signed up to do a 5K the end of April. My training is going well. There is nothing in my body that “can’t” do it. The only thing that has been holding me back is my head.

These examples are both related to the physical body and fitness, but this could hold true to all kinds of goals. Career, gardening, education, meditation, spiritual or religious aspirations, home renovations could all be affected by our own self-sabotage. Any goal we set for ourselves, could be subconsciously derailed by our “protective” mechanisms. Somewhere deep inside we believe that we should not achieve that goal because we are not worthy, not capable, not enough, don’t have the right skills or attributes. I remember once when I was a child I over heard my grandmother and my mother talking. We were all in the garden picking weeds and my mother said to my grandmother, “Stacy is a strong starter, but she doesn’t finish things”. On some level my child brain took that in as a “truth” and held on to it. For the next 3 decades (or so), I held on to the belief that I started things but never finished them. I was reading the book Worthy by Nancy Levin and there is an exercise she has you do in the book that helped me became aware that I had this belief about myself. My own self-sabotage was helping to keep this belief true while sacrificing my goals. I did not realized this on a conscious level, at the time it was happening.

If you reflect on the goals you have fallen short of, do you see any hints that what stood in your way was actually you? It is much easier and more comfortable to blame it on exterior factors. I didn’t have time to do the training. My stress was too high to focus on committing to that goal. I am not the kind of person that achieves those results. The truth is we are capable. We can do it. We are the type of people who achieve those results. I watched a documentary the other night about an overweight young adult who grew up on a hog farm, who became vegan and ran an ultra marathon. That is 100 miles in 30 hours. Human beings are capable of amazing things! The documentary is Once is Enough. It is on Prime Video, if you are interested in checking it out. He didn’t fit in the box of what an Ultra Marathoner looked like but He didn’t let that stop him.

When road blocks pop up to prevent me from taking care of myself, I plan to reflect on what is really going on. Am I blocking my progress? Is this self-sabotage? Do I have a belief about myself that is not in alignment with what I am about to accomplish? Being aware is the first step to overcoming.

We can do this! We are the people who will cross the finish line! We are the type of people who do amazing things! We will push on despite being busy, stressed, overloaded, insecure, and/or being completely in over our heads in unmapped territory. Don’t let anyone tell you you can’t do the thing or be the person, because you can. Don’t let anyone else set your course for you. It is not too late. You are amazing! You are capable. I am proud of you. Believe in yourself. And in those quiet moments when you hear the whispers of the subconscious, holding you back, tell it that you can and will cross the finish line!

Thank you for reading my blog. May you accomplish what you set out after, because you are the type of person who lives the life of their dreams. Believe!