Flexibility and Habits

I have been learning a lot about habit formation lately. It seems like it may be the key for me in putting my self-care and healthy habits front and center. Although, it may not seem to make sense, I am learning that some flexibility is required when creating habits. Let me explain what I mean.

A couple of the habits I am working on are daily meditation and daily physical activity. When it comes to my meditation practice, it has come along pretty easily, this time. Past attempts have not been as successful. I believe this to what I have learned about habit formation.

From my understanding there are 3 main parts to a habit. The trigger, the habit, and the reward. The trigger is the thing that lets your subconscious know it is time to do the habit. The reward is what you get for preforming the habit. When it comes to my meditation habit, my trigger is when I wake up in the morning. I go to my designated meditation space, light my meditation candle (a reward) and mediate for 20 minutes. At the end of my mediation, I track my mediation in my Adidas running app. (Side note: I love this app, it will track all kinds of activities and allows for live tracking as well as manual entries.) Tracking my meditation in the app is my reward. From what I have learned instant rewards are best. If we have to wait too long for a reward our brains won’t associate them with the habit.

So where does flexibility fit in? In order to create a habit you must do it consistently. I can’t say, “I don’t feel well” or “conditions are not perfect”, I have to find a way to get it done. For example: when I travel for work, I do not have my designated space or my candle with me. I have to allow for flexibility in my practice. I meditate with out theses things.

As I have mentioned in previous blogs I am working towards running a 5k. I am using the C25K app from Zenlabs. I love this app! It works great. I prefer to run outside. The fresh air and beautiful scenery are a part of my reward for running. This past week it has been cold and icy. I have severe osteoporosis and can’t afford to slip and fall on the ice. This past week I had to do my running on a treadmill. Running on a treadmill and running outside are not even close to the same experience. I am dedicated to creating a habit of daily activity and training towards the more far off reward of running a 5k again. I have to allow for the flexibility of running inside on a treadmill some days.

Another thing I have learned about habits, is that they are easier when stacked, habit on top on habit. For example: trigger – I wake up, habit – mediation, habit – run or yoga, habit – shower, habit – brush teeth, and then it is time to go to work. By stacking habits I am gaining momentum from things that I am doing anyway. When I choose a hike as my daily activity, I can’t get that done in the morning before work. It has to wait till the workday is done. I can not benefit from my morning habit stack. In this way, I must also allow for flexibility that on the days I am going to hike, it will not happen at the same time as my running or yoga will.

What healthy or self-care activities would you like to add to your life? What existing habits could you stack them onto? Where can you see the need for flexibility and grace in you habit formation? What will you choose as rewards?

Thank you for reading my blog today! May you develop many helpful habits that support you taking care of yourself.

Books to learn more about habit formation:

Atomic Habits by James Clear

Healthy as F*ck by Oonagh Duncan

Hello Habits by Fumio Sasaki

Finding Peace and Joy in the Ordinary Moments

Have you been so in the flow of consciousness that you can feel the now. There is no struggle with moments of the past, jumping back into your mind or worry for the future. I have had a few blessed moments like this. One such moment happened while my husband and I were driving home from the airport.

As the truck rolled down the city streets, I noticed that my attention landed on nothing in particular. Instead I noticed it all without judgement. The vehicle rolled steadily down the road. The homes flowed past the window. For once, I did not wonder if the people living inside them were happy. I had no feeling of preference over one type of a house or another. I did not worry about whether the occupants were capable of shoveling the snow in their yards. I was not planning what needed to get done when I got home or even anxiously awaiting our arrival at our driveway. I just sat peacefully in the truck and watched the ever changing neighborhoods outside the window. I did not judge it to be good or bad. It all just was. I was in the flow of consciousness. Daily mediation has been happening more often than not for me lately and, although my meditations are not always the perfection of what I think they should be, I feel they are helping me connect more readily with consciousness.

Blissful moments of being completely in the “now” only happen to me rarely. When they do, I grab hold of them and allow them to last however long they may. Eventually (and it is usually not long) a thought or a person will demand my attention. This is life. This is the world we all live in. But these moments of presence are here for us. Washing the dishes, watching children at the park, walking down the street, waiting for public transportation, or even waiting for the computer to boot up; are all little bits of space we have to just allow. There is no need for judgement of the thoughts that rise up. They will rise up. No need for the attachment to the sensations in our body, just notice them and allow. You do not have to sit crisscross applesauce or close your eyes. Just be; notice it all without judgement. Do not attach your attention to any one item or activity. Do not make up stories about the people passing by. Allow them to just pass like smoke from a campfire. Flowing gently along. There is no need to hold on to this moment. You are safe in just allowing.

As you go about your day, look for the little bits of time that will permit you to be fully present. All that thinking does not serve you. It actually sweeps away your happiness. The more you are able to stay in the now, the more you are able to find your joy. I want you to find your joy. I want you to have peace in your life. Do you want these things too? I bet you do.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you! May your find peace and joy, as if by magic.

Previous blogs on this subject that you may find interesting:

What Comes After the 90 Meditation Adventure?

Meditation: A Beautiful Experience

*Photo taken in St. Croix Falls, WI

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Mindfulness as a Way to Heal

I am having a hungry day. Do you have days like that too? Do you find yourself having days when you just can’t seem to get enough food in you to feel full? When days like this happen to me, I often wonder what it is that I am really feeling. There is obviously some sort of emptiness that cannot seem to be filled or some corner of my mind looking for distraction.

I have eat an ample amount of healthy and nutritious food today. I have kept my promise to myself to maintain my intermittent fasting. I have even felt tempted to drink alcohol or diet soda over this weekend, but stayed true to my healthy initiates. I even manage to get in 10,000 plus steps today and yesterday. I have not been complaint free. As the sun dips below the horizon and the stars start to blink into being, I am sipping a hot tea to stave off my hunger pains. Why is there this persistent need to eat today? Maybe I am hungrier because I walked the 10,000 steps and burned more calories? Perhaps as I sit alone in silence, watching the lights across the marina, I am board. These are both very valid explanations as to why I might be feeling the need to nibble on this and that.

There is also another possible explanation. I am just not good at quiet. I am extremely good at busyness. When I am being productive my mind is distracted. When I am sitting, quietly, it allows my past emotions and experiences to creep into the corners of my mind. I want to eat, drink, do something so that I do not have to acknowledge these uncomfortable things tickling my consciousness; as they slip and slide though the cobwebby recesses of my mind. Just dealing with them would make them go away and not seem so frightening anymore, but still my protective coping mechanisms say not today! Their time is coming though. They cannot creep through the shadows of my mind forever. I will not allow them to derail all the progress I am and have been making. Adventure Sister, Emy and I are planning our own private ‘silent’ retreat.

In the silence of 48 hours, which we are gifted ourselves, there will be no place for them to hide. The ability to run (as a distraction), to have to do this or that, will not be possible. I imagine there will be some very troublesome moments in the midst of this period of silence. I can guess that I will have a couple of very hungry days. I foresee growth coming to me though this; yet I know it will not all be easy. I know that much of it will feel very uncomfortable. I will just chalk it up to growing pains as I can feel my Spirit craving this experience. It just feels so right. When I come out on the other side, will I be markedly different? Probably not but I will be healthier!

These cravings and distractions seem to wave from the depths of me. They want to be noticed yet the protective part of myself is trying to keep them hidden away, like skeletons in the closets of my mind. Through silence and mindfulness, I will allow them to come into the light, because skeletons do not seem so frightening there.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you. May you find the time and space to let those past hurts come to the surface and move on, as if by magic.

*Photo taken in Sanford, FL at the marina.

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