I Wanna Help!

I am involved in a lot of stuff. I mean really, a lot of stuff! I work hard and I play just as hard. At work, home, and with various things I am involved in, I find myself volunteering or being ask to volunteer to take on more and more. I find it difficult to say, “no”. I wanna help and I want to make my corner of the world a better place.

That is why Emy and I wrote the 3 books. Yes, we have both felt the call to write since we were young girls. I have always know that somehow, in someway, I would eventually be an author. But, Lessons Through Joy, Lessons Through Forgiveness, and Lessons Through Magic were written with a genuine desire to help others. It is a part of the calling to make the world a better place. That same desire, swirling inside my soul, is what drives me to write this blog. It is what pushes me to get something posted 3-5 times a week. I want to help people. I want to make the world a better place.

That same desire is why I go speak to high school students and share my story of placing a child for adoption. I want to share with them an option. When I was young and not prepared to support and raise this child, that was growing inside of me, I had to make/find my own options. By sharing my story, hopefully I can help some other teen see there are other ways to give your child a good life.

My desire to help is why I am the administrator for my local Buy Nothing group. Have you heard of Buy Nothing? It is a movement to keep items out of the landfills and build community by neighbor giving to neighbor. When I first heard of this, I thought the concept was brilliant. Sadly, my neighborhood didn’t have a group. This bothered me; it was simply not acceptable. So I contacted Buy Nothing and offered to be the administrator for my area. It is one more way I can help make my little corner of the world a better place.

I do it at work too. When I see something that needs to be worked on, I often volunteer for the project. I want the company I work for to be a better place also. I want to help things be smooth and easy for others who work there. It is one more way I try and make the world a better place.

I joined Toastmasters last fall to try and make myself a better speaker but I found it was a place I could share important messages also. I try to write speeches for my little group that can help them or that they can share with others. Important messages about loving yourself as is and how forgiveness can improve your life.

I couldn’t take care of the world around me without taking care of my friends and family. So I try to be available as a shoulder to cry on, ear to listen, helping hand when needed. My husband and I worked hard to renovate our own home and now a home for our daughters. We are also using this work to providing encouragement and lessons on being the best version of himself to our teenage son. We want to make the world a better place by helping him grow into the kind of man who will stop and pick up litter on the street, help an elderly neighbor shovel snow or haul in groceries, smile at strangers, and give without selfishness. We spend hours with our grandchildren, helping them to also grow into caring people and build lasting memories for both them and us of play, creativity, and love.

With all of these efforts (and more not mentioned here) to help the world around me, it is easy to get bogged down and feel pressured and feel like I do not have enough time for me. Somehow, I manage. I do feel badly when I have to turn down a request or a project either at work or through some other avenue, but if I do not take a minute here or there for myself, I will be tapped out and not able to continue to give the best of myself. Half an effort is not good enough for me. If I am going to take something on, I need to know I can always give it the best of myself.

Thank you for reading my blog today. May you have healthy happy boundaries.

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Self Care: a series – part 1

As busy people, we often become overwhelmed and feel we do not have time to give to ourself. It is easy to put everyone else’s needs first. Doing things to care for ourselves begins to feel like “luxuries” that we do not think we deserve. After all, all of that other stuff has to get done. Doing something for ourself or taking time for ourself is not necessary. Or is it? Self-care plays an integral role in wellness and is not a luxury. If we do not take care of ourself, we will be there to take care of others.
I have spent much of my life as a director of hospice programs. I asked about self care in interviews, we talked about it in team meetings, and I preached it one on one with my team. Hospice is a job that demands a lot of those called to its vocation. If my team didn’t take care of themselves, they would not have had the stamina to provide our patients and families what they needed as they went through their journey. Having healthy boundaries is a part of that self care. It is import, as a person, to know when to say no or to help someone find another resource to accomplish their need. One of our hospice families may have needed someone to take a dog to the vet. It was important that our team conserved their time and energy for the things only they could do, care for our patient. We would look for a volunteer, family member, or friend who could help get Sparky to his doggy doctor. It is the same in our everyday lives. There are times that people may ask us to help with something and it is wonderful to help people. It gives you a good feeling, that grows in your heart, when you can give someone a hand. When you love someone, you are concerned for their well being and want to make sure their needs are met. The Karma from helping others is really beneficial to us as well. However, if we are trying to meet everyones needs, we will be too drained to do something else that needs to be done. Something that maybe only you can do. Perhaps we are not the best person to help either. Someone else may have better skills to help get that job done than we do.
As you are being pulled in lots of different directions, remember that it is okay to say “no” sometimes. Remember that protecting your boundaries is an important part of self care. If you don’t take care of yourself, who will?

Thank you for reading my blog today. Take care of yourselves, my friends. I wish you a life of healthy boundaries.

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