Tag: self help

What Do You Regret?

I like to listen to music while I work. It helps me concentrate. Your Side of the Bed by Little Big Town was playing. In that song they ask “Are you sleeping with your own regrets?” It got me thinking about regrets. I have always tried to live a regret free existence. I have always felt that we do the best we can in the time and place we are in. Even with this philosophy, there have been a couple things in my life that I have struggled with. Sharing these regrets makes me very nervous. They are things I do not talk about. What is interesting to me as I reflect on this is that I don’t mind sharing with strangers but I am very nervous to have people who know me aware of them. I guess I fear being judged.
One of those things was related to my first husband’s daughter. She ended up in foster care. I, for a long time, regretted that I didn’t try and get custody of her. At that time in my life, I had two children that I was raising as a single mother. I felt I was not in a place to be able to take on another child. After this girl became an adult, I was able to make contact with her. I told her I was sorry that I did not fight to get custody of her. She was very gracious and said that she was just fine and that she has gone on to get a degree in social services. Perhaps her childhood was related to her calling in life. Perhaps that is why the Universe conspired for me to feel I could not take on raising her. Maybe her upbringing turned out to be better for her than anything I could have provided her with.
Do you believe in soul contracts? The idea that we come into this life with set experiences we are meant to have. When I first heard about the idea, I was not so sure about it. Now I find it is a good fit for my belief system. It makes sense to me. If I had saved her from foster care would I have cheated her out of one of her soul contracts? Or would I have cheated myself out of the experience of regret and trying to make amends? Do soul contracts mean we do not try to help others? I do not think so. Helping others could likely be one of our soul contracts. Do you think regret serves a purpose? Does the avoidance of regret help us make better choices?
Another time in my life, I regretted, was when I was a teenager. I was depressed and was going to commit suicide. One of my friends realized what I intended to do. She told the counselor who drove out to my house. The close call made me re-evaluate the importance of life and I have never been suicidal since. My friend saved my life and I am eternally grateful for the action she took. My regret is in the action I took after the counselor was alerted. I lied. I told the counselor, my mother, everyone, that my friend was wrong. It made her look foolish. We were never friends again after that day. I lost my best friend as a result of that lie. I have since contacted her and expressed my gratitude, as well as, apologized for lying. She forgave me.
I recently wrote a blog called Beneficial Forgiveness.  Dealing with these regrets is a perfect place to practice forgiving yourself. Remind yourself that you did do the best you could, in the time and place you were in then.
How have regrets shaped your life? Do you have regrets? Are there some you can’t seem to move past? How can you work on forgiving yourself for these things?

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Beneficial Forgiveness

Who are you unable to forgive and why? What things do you consider to be unforgivable? What mistakes have you made in life that you are still holding tight to because the pain is too much to think about? Being able to forgive others and even more so, to forgive yourself, can be life changing.

Most people do not set out in life to be a pain the the you know what. As humans, I believe we do the best we can, in the time and space we are in. But because of what we are holding on to, sometime the decisions we make will cause pain for ourselves and or others. I think if we realize that people do the best they can in the time and space they are in, it’ll help you leg go of the anger, regret and disappointment in order to find it in your heart to offer forgiveness.

I was in a toxic marriage once. There was verbal and emotional things happening that have had a lasting impact. I stayed in the marriage because I really believed that my children needed a home with a father and a mother. I also did not believe I could be successful in providing my children with a home and the other things they needed without two incomes. I was wrong about both of these things. I stayed because I didn’t know I was wrong. I stayed because I didn’t understand the lasting impact that this environment was having on my children. I stayed because I did not have enough self worth to believe I could leave. Eventually, I found my self worth and did leave the marriage. I am only now starting to fully understand how my children were hurt and affected by this.

So who do I need to forgive as a result of this story. I need to forgive myself for staying way to long. I need to forgive my ex-husband for the way he treated me and the children. I need to forgive my daughter who still holds so much anger at me for staying too long and for not protecting her more. I need to forgive my catholic up bringing that made me think I couldn’t leave. I need to forgive myself for feeling like a failure, because I couldn’t fix it.

I will tell you I have worked through this and have been able to forgive. Much of this processing and healing took place in the BWCA, with Emy’s support and love. I was able to touch those very painful emotions that were pushed down deep inside. I was able to feel them and understand them and eventually let them go. I was able to understand that my ex-husband was doing the best he could in the time and space he was in. He had learned how to be a family from his own family. Perhaps what had been modeled for him, when he was a child, was also not healthy. I came to understand that he had his own inner demons and probably did not like himself very much. He did not know how to deal with or heal these things. So it came out in these ways that harmed our family. Once I had some understanding of why he acted the way he did, I was able to forgive him. This forgiveness was a gift to him but more importantly it was a gift to myself. Forgiving him freed me from wallowing in the hate and self loathing. Forgiving him allowed me to get to the place where I could forgive myself. Forgiving him allowed me to let go of that “failed” marriage and give it blessings for the experiences I had and the things I learned as a result of it. Forgiving him gave me a new found freedom and a new found peace. Forgiving him was far more beneficial to me than it will ever be to him. Forgiving my daughter is easy. I pray the someday she will forgive me. Not because I feel I need forgiveness but because it will free her and allow her to heal. Forgiving my catholic up bringing was easier once I realized that it was a result of good intentions on my parents part. They were doing what they thought was right. They were doing the best they could to raise their children. “The road to hell is paved with good intentions”. I think when we can see the good intentions behind the things that hurt us, it is easier to find forgiveness.

The hardest forgiveness that took place from the story I shared above was forgiving myself. We hold ourselves to a higher standard. We do not allow for our own mistakes. We take these perceived “failures” and hold on to them. We often feel they are unforgivable. None of us are perfect. Once I was able to realize that I too did the best I could in the time and place I was in, I began to see that I was able to forgive myself. I forgave myself for staying too long, for “failing” at marriage, for the mistakes I made in the midst of the marriage that made situations worse. The freedom of no longer holding on to these things allowed for a sense of freedom. The chains had been released. I was able to move on. I was able to work on myself and become a healthier version of me. I was able to find a relationship that is happy and healthy.

What in your life are you not able to forgive? Yourself? Others? Situations? Is there a way that you can see these situations from another perspective and find forgiveness? It will change your life. Forgive others, not for their benefit but for your own benefit. Free yourself from having to hold on to that disappointment any longer.

Do you have a story to share about how forgiveness improved your life? Do you have things you are currently working on forgiving yourself for? Do you have things you have learned along the way you would like to share with others?

Thank you for reading my blogs today. Feel free to share it with others you feel it may help. May your life be filled with healthy forgiveness. Blessings, Stacy

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STOP Shoulding Yourself

We all are so busy telling ourself what we “should” be doing, how we “should” be acting, what we “should” be saying that we make it impossible to live up to the expectations we set for ourselves. When we can’t live up to the expectations we set for ourselves, we start beating ourselves up. We start telling ourselves things we would never tell our friends. We call ourselves names like “failure”, “lazy”, and “dumb”. We hold ourselves to standards we would never hold our friends to. How do we stop this practice and heal our relationship with ourselves?

I have started to write this blog three or maybe even four times. It is a topic I feel strongly about. So why am I having such a hard time getting the words out? Why am I having trouble expressing myself around this particular topic? Does it have anything to do with the fact that I feel I “Should” write this blog? I want to help people with the blogs I write. Inspiring others to find ways to improve their relationship with themselves, is a huge part of my mission in doing this. Perhaps, because of that, I have my own list of “shoulds” around this topic.

I am the queen of high expectations! My husband will try to tell me I am high maintenance, but I am not. I am high expectations. For myself and everyone around me. While attending Buddhist meditation, the monk shared this teaching. He told us that we get upset with others because of the expectations we set for them.  Then because we have these expectations of others, when they don’t live up to them, we feel frustrated. If we didn’t have these expectations of others we would not be upset when they don’t live up to them. He illustrated this with a story of meditation. If you are editing in the forest, you do not get upset with the bird because you do not expect the bird to be quiet. You do not think you can control the bird. If you are meditating at home and others in the home are making noise, you feel frustrated because you feel they should meet your expectations. But I digress. I really want to talk about the expectation, like this, that we place on ourselves.

How many times have I told myself I did not get enough done in a day? I am constantly saying I “should” exercise more, meditate daily, practice my yoga, and keep the housework caught up. If a friend of mine was telling me she felt badly for not doing all of these things, I would tell her to stop being so hard on herself. Why is it that the expectations we hold for ourself are so much harder than what we expect from others. Eat the right things, say the right things, do the right things. We set expectations for ourselves that no one could live up to, and then we beat ourselves up when we are not able to accomplish it all. Stop it! Just stop! Love yourself the way you love your friends. Give yourself the same respect you have for those dear people in your life who trust you with their concerns.

Everyday we all “should” do the best we can in the time and space we are in. We “should” forgive ourselves. We “should” love ourselves. There will be times when we can not live up to these expectations. There will be times that we can not do our best, love ourselves, or forgive ourselves… but there will be moments that we can. There will be blessed moments of clarity when all seems magical and we can be the best version of ourselves. The rest of the time we must be patient as we continue toward our own wellness. The blessed time when we love and accept ourselves as is.

I want to share my appreciation for Paul and Maria in Warrenville, IL. I appreciate you listening to me talk about my blog and my mission to help others find wellness.  I appreciate you sharing your stories with me. I wish you blessings and personal wellness in your lives. You both have such potential; I can see it within you! Don’t “should” yourselves.

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Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister
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In Their Shoes

I recent listened to a group of family members discussing what it is like to work in customer service. As a nurse I also have been in jobs where pleasing people is a part of the role. I have seen people be extremely rude and even verbally abusive to people working in stores, all in an attempt to get their way. I am ashamed to admit, when I was younger, I also had occasion where I lost my patience with people just trying to do their jobs. What can we do and how can we think to help us have empathy for those who cross our paths in the course of a day?

Think about how different the world would be if we all followed the Golden Rule. Treating others the way we would like to be treated could help transform some of these frustrating interactions to be better. The Golden Rule is in some version in almost all major world religions. If we could see ourselves in that person, we would act the way we would want others to treat us, if we were working that job.

Nisargadatta Maharai said, “ The consciousness in you and the consciousness in me, apparently two, really one, seek unity and that is love”. We are better able to give love and acceptance, when we see that we are that other person. Can you put yourself in their shoes? Can you feel empathy for what it must be like to be in that place and having to deal with that situation?

Today I challenge you as you walk through your day to imagine yourself in the shoes of those you cross paths with. I would be curious to hear how this changed your perspective on the world around you. Did this make any impact on how you dealt with people or situations? No matter which side of the counter you are on, there is room to try and see the other person’s persecutive. Eckhart Tolle said, “If you are not in the state of either acceptance, enjoyment, or enthusiasm, look closely and you will find that you are creating suffering for yourself and others”. Try seeing yourself as the other person in a way to gain acceptance.

Thank you for reading my blog today! May your day be filled with love and acceptance.

Please Follow the Adventure Sisters:

Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

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How I Found Love

I have a great man. It is true, but it has not always been true. I have been with physically and emotionally abusive men in the past. I have dealt with lies and cheats. I have had the disinterested and the disengaged. I also have had my share of users. Recently a friend asked me for relationship advice. She wanted to know how to differentiate between the really great guy and the “trickster”. This really got me thinking. I believe in the “law of attraction” also known as the “secret” or “manifestation”. No matter what you call it, I believe what we put out into the Universe is what we attract back to us. So the fact that I have a husband who is perfect for me and a really great guy, means I changed something within myself. What was it?

Trust me, once I decided that I wanted to be in a committed relationship again, I set out to accomplish this task. I am not someone who fails when I set my mind to something. I read relationship books, created and put pictures on my vision boards, started online dating with gusto. I wrote manifestation lists under the new moon, listing all of the attributes I wanted my perfect partner to have. I even worked a spell with a friend. One of the most powerful manifestations I did was redecorating my bedroom. I made it soft and romantic with lots of draping white fabric and even an old crystal chandler to make it seem like a princess lived there. I decorated with pictures of couples in steamy romantic poses. I had a couple tasteful porcelain couples dancing. The goddess Aphrodite held a place of honor on my dresser. I had a boudoir photo shoot and put up sexy pictures of myself. This was to remind me that I am sexy and desirable. I also created some art work myself, depicting couples. The day I completed the bedroom remodel, I had my first date with Marty, who is now my husband.

Was manifestation enough to bring to me the perfect guy? I do not believe without making changes in my own self esteem and worth that I would have been as successful. When I started online dating, it was really hard to let a guy open a door for me. I can do it myself. I soon learned that most men like to do things for women. I also learned that by allowing a man to do things for me, I was confirming my own self worth. A wise friend told me that I am “the prize”. I think this really started to shift my thinking. I started to view dating differently. No longer did I see myself as desperately looking for a man who would see the value in me. Instead I found the value in myself. I knew I did not need a man, although one would be nice to share my life with. My life was glorious just as it was. Any man who put me low on his list of priorities did not get the gift of my time.

Another change that happened was me deciding that I wanted choices. In the past I would meet a man and give him all of my time and attention. Then, when I realized he was not the one or things did not work out, I would have to start all over. Suddenly I learned they needed to earn the right to be my one and only. Immediately committing to the first guy who paid attention to me quit. I had casual dates and deep conversations with several different men during any period of time. I did not give myself to the first guy who looked my way. I did not enter into a committed relationship with someone just because he was willing to give me some attention. This did two things for me. It helped me decide what I wanted and what I didn’t want in a relationship. I got to meet a lot of different men. I exchanged emails with even more. I learned about their interesting jobs and even more interesting hobbies and I met people I could not have met in my everyday life. The other thing it did was allow myself to see that potential suitors were plentiful. The world changes when you see it with abundance. You are no longer willing to accept “not good enough” as a way of life. You demand more from the universe.

On my 28th first date since deciding I wanted to be in a relationship, I met my future husband. He had to earn the right to be my one and only. I am eternally grateful for all the other men I went on dates with, exchanged emails with, or spoke to on the phone. They taught me a lot about life and even more about myself. They helped me become the person I am today. I wish them all successful and happy lives with their perfect partner, if that is what they want. Mostly I am grateful for my husband. He is a truly marvelous man! I appreciate him so much every day! I do not claim to be a relationship expert or to know what you need to do to attract your perfect partner. I can only share with you what I did and hope that it helps you in some way.

If you have been able to successfully navigate relationships, please share any words of wisdom with others. May all of you find your perfect partner, if that is what you desire. Blessings, Stacy!

 

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What Would I Tell You?

The post below is from a journal entry many years ago when I was dating. I was frustrated with a relationship I was in and was trying to figure out how to improve it. I was learning that my blunt direct approach does not work with everyone. I wrote a letter to him. Telling him everything I was afraid or unable to say to him. I never sent the letter and the relationship did not last much longer. I think the letter explains how so many people feel within relationships. That is why I have chosen to share it here today. I would love to hear your comments and feedback. What does this bring up for you? Have you had similar experiences in relationships? What has worked in dealing with situations like this in your past? 

What would I tell you…if I could tell you anything?

That I want you to want me. I need to feel desired by you. I need to know you see/notice the specialness that I know is within me.
I want you to give me affection. I am affectionate by nature so I currently find myself holding back from touching and kissing you as much as I would like. I do not want to have to ask you for affection. It makes me feel needy. I find neediness in myself unattractive. I can remember being in relationships where I was touched too much and I have no desire to make you feel that way. I have also been in a relationship where I was not touched enough. I have no intention of living like that again. I realize you can’t read my mind and have no way of knowing how much touch I want or need, without me telling you. I also realize the same is true in reverse; that I have no way of knowing how much touch you want or need, unless we find a way to communicate that to each other.
I am not perfect but hey… who is? No one. We are all flawed. I guess that is part of this whole dating thing. To see if I can live with your flaws and if you can live with mine. I do not want to campaign for reasons why you should want to be with me. I am a great catch. If you do not see that or appreciate that within me, who am I to convince you?
I need depth from you in our communications. Not all the time… sometimes just silly nonsense is perfect… you know I love to play.
I also need conversation where you share memories, what you think about various things and how you feel about different topics. I will wither and die in a relationship that does not contain some level of depth.
I have in the past, tried to use sex to try to form a connection. I need passion in my relationship to feel alive. More than this, I need connection and I feel connection is formed by touch and sharing.
I see such goodness and beauty in you. Somehow this causes you to take points away from me. How confusing is that? If I was still questioning whether you were worth my time, would that somehow make me more attractive?
In many ways I am the girl next door. I am scared of things that go bump in the night. I want my parents to be proud of me. I want my children to be productive members of society. I want to help my grandchild see the beauty and magic in the world. I want them to be better people because I made a difference in their lives. I want to contribute to society through my donations, work and deeds. I want to leave the places I have been, a little bit brighter then when I came. I want to live my life and allow others to do the same. I love my friends and family. I do not want anyone or anything to hurt them, nor, do I want to hurt anyone else. I work hard and have climbed my way out of poverty, poor decisions and failed marriages to become very successful in my career field. I am nowhere close to done in my growth. My life is a magical ride. If you choose to climb on board and come along, you will enjoy that magical ride too. The sky is the limit for me and my life has a way of allowing magic to happen.
I love my family but they do not define me, nor does my career or marital status. I am not desperately seeking a man to take care of me. I am more then capable of taking care of myself. I am looking for the right man to care for me, to connect with me, and to share my life with. Are you this person? Time will tell.
I am a continual work in progress. I attempt to sit back and watch how I react to things. This has taken years of working on myself. I am not perfect at it. At times, I still react to things without thinking about why I am reacting. The goal is to notice when I am getting “triggered” and exploring why I am feeling whatever I am feeling. Often it will relate back to baggage from the past and really not have much to do with the current situation. It has been interesting when opportunities to explore these things come up, I continues to help me grow and heal. I will probably never be completely healed or done growing. I am still human and will still react to things with out exploring what is underneath it from time to time. Nobody’s perfect, right? At times I may still get into the drama of the moment, but please know, I am seriously trying not to.
I do not want to create drama within our relationship. I believe we still have things to learn from each other and adventures to have together. I believe to have a successful relationship, autopilot will not work. We will both need to learn how to communicate what we are feeling and what we are needing within the relationship. We need to feel safe sharing those things that are at our core. We will both need to be vulnerable with each other… something neither of us is completely comfortable with.
All of this is what I would tell you… if I could tell you anything.

Are You Positive?

What do you practice daily? This question showed up in my facebook news feed as a video by a young boy. I was so impressed with the wisdom of this youngster. I shared the video to our Adventure Sisters Facebook page. He was asking people if they had a daily practice. He went on to tell them that, whatever they practiced daily, they would become expert at. He gave example like; joy, anger, and complaining. He gave example of how practicing complaints and anger could make you very skilled at these things. It was really amazing insight for such a young person. Obviously an old soul resides in that young body. You can see his video on the Adventure Sisters Facebook page. https://www.facebook.com/BWCAdventureSisters

So what do you practice everyday? I think it is a good thing for us to look at and really talk about. Our brains are predisposed to see the negative around us. When you think about it from a survival stand point it makes sense. If you are always looking for the danger (aka the negative) you will be able to flee to safety. The habit forming potential of negative thinking is probably something we have all experienced. So how do we shift our focus? I consider myself a pretty positive person. Am I really, though? If I sit back and watch myself, do I complain as much or more then I express joy and delight? It is winter where I live. I do not tolerate the cold as well as I do the heat. I think I probably complain more in the winter then I do in the summer. Winter is beautiful. I love the way the fluffy white snow sits on the prickly branches of the evergreen trees. There is a simple serenity in the the near black and white color palate of winter in the north. So why do I spend my time bitching about the cold?

Others expect negativity from us as well. Have you every been excitedly telling someone about the positive things in your life and you get a sense of disapproval from them? So you throw in a couple negative aspects. The other person will accept you now. If I told you: I love my job, I work for a great company. I have supportive collaborative teammates. My boss has my back and helps mentor me to further success. I get paid well. My benefits are good. I get plenty of vacation time and my job perks are out of this world. Would you feel jealous? Would you feel I was bragging? Would you think I was trying to convince you or me that my job was great? Would your eyes glaze over and would you secretly be plotting my death? Would I notice this look in your eyes and feel the need to think of a couple of negative things about my job in order to feel a little less like a crazy person?

Do we not want our friends and family to be happy and have lots of blessings in their life? We say that we do. What is it that makes us not want to trust happiness, joy, good fortune, and miracles? Of course nothing is perfect. Given the opportunity, we can find something to complain about in any situation. But the opposite is true too. Given the opportunity we can find something good to talk about in any situation. I challenge you to be Pollyanna. (Do you know who that is?) Look for the silver lining. Turn that frown upside down. Make a decision to be the happiest person in the room. Embrace the madness of a positive attitude. “It is only through mystery and madness that the soul is revealed” ~ Thomas Moore.

Thank you for reading my blog today. May your daily practice bring you joy!

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Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

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The Boundary Waters Canoe Area, like so many beautiful areas, may be at risk from exploitation. If you feel so moved please sign the petition below to save this amazing natural resource!

https://www.savetheboundarywaters.org/tell-department-interior-and-bureau-land-management-protect-boundary-waters

How I Learned to Love My Body Again

Think about being a child, care free in your appearance. How free that must feel. I watch my stepson and grandchildren. They will put on some goofy thing and know they look good. Body image is such a struggle for so many today. How can we heal this within ourselves?
My own struggles with body image started very young. I can remember being in elementary school and thinking I was fat. I am not sure where the initial problem started from. Was it my grandmother saying I should wear dark colors because they were slenderizing? Was it the kid on the play ground who called me a 2000 pound Tyrannosaurus rex? Could it have been noticing that clothes did not look on me the way they looked on my Barbie Dolls? Whatever the reason, from a young age, my body image sucked! It started a vicious cycle of dieting and binging that carried on until my late 30’s when eventually I had gastric bypass surgery. I lost 113.5 as a result of the surgery. I looked amazing, at least with my clothes on. Without them my skin hung and sagged. Without the fat I had way more skin than I needed. Stretch marks from years of weight gain made a map across my body. My breasts hung, more than a little, lower than were they belonged. I still felt disgusting. I consulted with a plastic surgeon to have skin pealed off of my body so that other skin could be pulled up and the folds would be decreased. Even after the surgery my body would not resemble those molded plastic fashion dolls of my youth. At least my body would be a little less gross. I scheduled the surgery.
At that time I was doing online dating. It struck me sometime before the plastic surgery that this was not the correct option for me. I needed to learn to love myself as is, otherwise how could anyone else love me? The kind of man I was looking for was the kind who could look past people faults and love the beautiful soul inside. I canceled surgery and decided any man who wanted me would have to be able to love this body with all of its mileage. I started working on loving myself. I started working on improving my feelings about my body.
I started small. Noticing aspects of my body that I did like was a way to begin. My toes are cute. I have strong legs. Parts of me that were easy to love paved the way to loving all of me. I found a great hair stylist. Which taught me my frizzy, out of control hair was actually full of really fun curls. Then the shopping began. The jeans and t-shirts were pushed to the back of the closet. Dresses now hung in the front. Pretty girly things that made me feel like a woman. I embraced my femininity. Changing my dating profile from “a few extra pounds” to “curvy” really helped me embrace my body as sexy, even if I still felt it was imperfect.
I did find a man who loves me as is. He is a beautiful and kind soul. The year we were married, Emy and I were planning our annual BWCA (Boundary Water Canoe Area) trip. These trips have morphed from fun adventures into an opportunity to work on wellness and self improvement. We still have lots of fun but they are now so much more. In the bags I included a pack of metallic pastel colored pertinent markers. “A fun activity for our trip, awaits in the bags”, I told Emy. Letting the anticipation of surprise speak to the little girl in her. All the while the little girl in me was relishing this idea.
As we sat on our private island in the BWCA, near our campfire, drinking tea, and watching the sun glisten off the lake, I produced the markers. “We are going to write message of love to our body”. She lit up. We set to work covering our bodies in words of appreciation and things we wanted to manifest for ourselves. When we were done the metallic ink sparked in the afternoon sun. Words such a strength, love, beauty, temperance, feminine, courage, and support adorned our bodies amidst peace symbols, flowers, vines, hearts, and other symbolic drawings. It was a transformative experience.
I am more comfortable with my body now than I have been since I was a very young child. I still have moments, but for the most part, I love my body. I love every line and fold. Even that parts that don’t sit as high as they once did, receive appreciation and loving kindness from me.

What struggles do you have with your body image? Do you have helpful tricks you can share with others?

Thank you for reading my blog today. May you have loving kindness for your body!

Please Follow the Adventure Sisters:
Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister
https://stacycrep.com
Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister
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The Adventure Sisters on Facebook
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The Adventure Sisters on Instagram
@adventuresistersbwca

The Boundary Waters Canoe Area, like so many beautiful areas, may be at risk from exploitation. If you feel so moved please sign the petition below to save this amazing natural resource!
https://www.savetheboundarywaters.org/tell-department-interior-and-bureau-land-management-protect-boundary-waters

How I Became an Adventure Sister!

Hello, I am Stacy Crep, Adventure Sister! You may be asking yourself what is an adventure sister? You may be curious to find out how I became an Adventure Sister. You may want to know what kind of adventures I have gone on. I will tell you all of this as well as my Adventure sister goals.

It all started with a Groupon! I saw a Groupon for a 3 day canoe trip. It sounded so fun. I just couldn’t pass it up! And who doesn’t love a sale! I bought 2 and contacted my friend Emy to go with me. At the time I had no idea what the Boundary Water Canoe Area was. BWCA, is that a funky dance from the 70s? I really didn’t understand what I had gotten us into. People warned us that we would get carried off by mosquitos and eaten by bears. As we started doing research we discovered that there is this thing called portaging. It is the crazy concept that when you get to land you pick up your canoe and carry it, on top of your shoulders, by yourself, until you get to water again. Not to mention all your gear.

That first year we learned so much! 2 ordinary woman out there in the wilderness at a campsite that consisted of lots of trees, a cooking grate, and a pit toilet. It didn’t even have walls. We chopped wood and learned to build a fire in the rain. We caught and cleaned our own fish, never had I ever done that before, but we wanted to eat. Washing dishes in the forest became second nature. We persevered after we tipped our canoe and had a lovely time. When we were packing up and leaving the last day, the only day that was warm and sunny, by the way, we decided to leave note for the next campers about the beautiful campsite and the fun we had had there. We left a couple tea bags and the note in a plastic bag tied to some extra fire wood we had chopped. We signed it Adventure Sisters.

We have continued to go back to the boundary waters year after year. We have survived lighting storms. We have climbed and navigated difficult portages. We have never mastered packing lite. We have managed to stay a float in rough water. One time it was so rough that when I went to paddle my paddle did not make contact with the water because it was between the massive waves. Once we endured camping in the forest when we couldn’t make it to a campsite. We didn’t even have a pit toilet that year… just a shovel.

This year we went to Orlando and had a different kind of adventure which included a swarm of fireman and 2 sheriff deputies. But that story is for another time.

These continued adventure have built our confidence and have helped us learn about ourselves. By pushing ourselves in these physical and many times emotional ways we have grown so much personally. We want to share this with others and inspire them to live the life of their dreams. We have decided to write a book to share our experiences with others. The idea of a book has grown into not just one book, but three. Lessons Through Joy, Lessons Through Forgiveness, and Lessons Through Magic.

An impulsive purchase changed my life and from it the adventure sisters were born. We were not carried off by mosquitoes nor were we eaten by bears. We had struggles, we learned a lot, we saw amazing aspects of nature (to include a swimming moose), but most of all we learned who we are and who we want to be. I am Stacy Crep, Adventure Sister. We are already planning our next adventure! Want to come with?

Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

https://stacycrep.com

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/BWCAdventureSisters

Why Does This Always Happen to Me?

Have you ever noticed repeating themes in your life? Maybe you find yourself in the same situation repeatedly. The best predictor of future action is past action. This is the driving reason people ask behavior questions during interviews. This means when these themes repeat in your life, you are likely to handle them in the same way each time. Is there a better way to deal with them?
It has become apparent to me that when we deal with these repeating themes in the same way they will continue to repeat. The only way to really break the pattern is to pick a new response. Let me tell you a story. Ever since I was a small child I have had just a few close friends. I enjoy getting together in groups but tend to be drawn to individual intimate time together. Ever since elementary school I have had friends who do not get along. I was constantly in between my two friends who did not like each other. As I have grown this theme has continued. Although, my friends have matured. Still it seems, I am always having to choose one friend or another to do things with. I have tried being the friend matchmaker and taking on a “ the more the merrier” attitude. It has not worked. I still find myself in a place were I feel pulled between two different people, both wrestling for my time. It has not stopped with friends; I have seen the same thing with family members. At least people like me, right? I have tried being a mediator; trying to help one person to see the other person’s point of view. Still life keeps giving me the opportunity to deal with this in a different way. I do not want to loose any of these people from my life. I cherish my relationships with them all. My current strategy is to spend group time with friends when it works but not to push them on each other. I am allowing for individual time with people too. Will this work? I can not tell at this point in time. Perhaps I will need to try something different in the future.
I had a similar experience with a repeating theme around men who didn’t have time for me when I was dating. I finally noticed the repeating theme and chose another option. I broke up with the men who did not have time for me; moved on in the dating pool. I was blessed to meet a man who makes time with me a priority. He is now my husband. That theme is gone from my life, because I noticed the pattern, prioritized myself, and broke the cycle.
What repeating themes do you have in your life? What could you do differently to have a new outcome?
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