The Pain We Carry With US

I was recently talking with someone and he was telling me about a part of his life he felt was a failure. It seemed to me that the perceived failure in this part of the person’s life caused him to view himself as a failure. Failure is a very harsh word. We all carry these pains and self judgments about ourselves with us. How can we learn from them and move forward and realize these perceived failures do not define us.
Let us start by examining the word failure. Are we ever really a failure or do we just make choices that are not in our best interests? Some of the things I have done in my life, that may have seemed like failures at the time, have led me down different paths that I would not have taken if the other path had been a success. For example, there was a time, when a job did not work out the way I had planned. My position was replaced by someone else and I was given a different role at the time. I felt horrible and like a failure. As it turned out it led me to another job that was even better. Life has a way of leading us to exactly where we are meant to be.
We all have had experiences in life where things we have said and done have caused us to feel like we failed in that situation. We carry this pain with us. For a time I even felt like I had failed as a mother because of the pains that my children carry with them. I now see that all three of my daughters have grown to be beautiful, smart, dynamic women. I wish I could have spared them the pain they experienced, but I also see how this pain has formed and helped them to become the women they are today. The pain they have experienced has shaped each of them in different ways. It has given them talents and the ambition to move their lives in amazing ways. One of my daughters always fights for the underdog. She speaks out and shares her views even when it is not popular. Another one of my daughters is all about family. She loves big family gatherings and wants everyone to feel welcome and accepted. The last of my daughters leads people. She has a drive to build and lead teams. I am extremely proud of them.
Just because something does not turn out the way I had hoped, it is not a failure. We all have these times in our life. It is important that we take them out and look at them with new eyes. By allowing our view to shift we can see how, what we once thought was a failure, is in fact a blessing in disguise.
What has happened in your life, that you once thought was a failure, but now can see how it benefitted you in the long run?

What do I Have To Learn From This?

Four days before Thanksgiving I fell and crushed my wrist. Friends and family from everywhere were about to descend upon my home in anticipation of the traditional Thanksgiving meal. It was my dominant wrist that I broke in the fall. What do I have to learn from this situation, other than watching where I step? How am I going to get through this? Should I just cancel the holiday? All of these questions and more were going through my head. Here’s how I managed to get through it.

Go with the flow. The first thing I had to do was realize I had no control of the situation. All I could do was take a deep breath and realize that it was all going be OK and go with the flow. It may not be what I had originally envisioned but it would be OK.
Ask for help. I had to call in the troops. I called my daughters who agreed to spend the night on Wednesday in order to help make the homemade buns. They also aided in getting all the side dishes and turkey properly prepared. A friend had to drive me to my doctors appointment. I also got help to go shopping for groceries.
Examine my expectations. I have always been a person with very high expectations for myself and of others. I had to examine my expectations and realize that it was unrealistic for me to try and do this all alone. I had to allow for other ways to do things. My way might not be the only way.
Slow down. Not only was my wrist broken, but also my hemoglobin (Iron) was 9.6. 12.5 is a normal result. I was feeling extremely fatigued. The pain and the effort to complete tasks with only my left hand was taking a toll on me. Which further increased my fatigue. I had to learn to take it slow and allow myself time to rest. Anyone who knows me, knows that rest does not come easily to me. I am the type of person who will push through to get things completed.
It’s not about me. Thanksgiving is about what there is to be thankful for. It is also about the coming together with friends and family. This misfortune did not change any of that. In fact it gave me more to be thankful for. I have gratitude for all of those who helped and offered to help. I am grateful because the kitchen was cleaned up without my interference. All of this help and other help that was offered made this gathering possible. My life is truly full of blessings.

So what are the lessons that a fractured radius and ulna have to bring me? It’s taught me a lot. I have learned to be grateful for all that I have, including the friends and family who rallied to support me. It’s taught me that there are other ways for things to be accomplished. It’s taught me that it’s OK to be weak sometimes. It’s taught me that perfection can be found in situations that are not ideal. Have you had situations like this? Have you had to learn things the hard way? Do you have any stories to share with us?

5 Tips to Turn Travels Dreams into Reality

Todays blog is written by my Adventure Sister, Emy Minzel.

Travel magic is something I have been blessed with, yet in recent years I have forgotten to use it. All I do lately, is change traffic lights, clear traffic jams or score good parking spots. Handy but… so boring! I love the outdoors, the sunshine in my eyes, new experiences, and making new friends. I am a water baby and adrenaline junky in disguise as a Massage Therapist and stay at home dog mom. My alter ego is an Adventure Sister. I love and miss her something terrible when she’s stagnant.

I have a gypsy soul that gets restless, if kept in captivity, I start to feel extreme anxiety. I pace like a caged cat kept inside for too long or clean obsessively, creating my own form of OCD. Why have I let this happen? Well, life needed me here at home. I have a business to build and maintain, pets to care for, and family to tend too but that isn’t reason enough to stop adventuring is it? No, not for me.

I vow to start making my travel magic work for me and here is how I will do it.

Have a destination in mind: Intention is everything! Give the destination a good amount of your attention and energy. If you are going to Denver Colorado, go on-line to research places to see, places to eat, and things to do in Denver. Then make a travel itinerary or plan, to let the Universe know you are serious. Talk about it. I love to talk about where I want to go and what I want to do while I am there and with whom I would like to do it with. Stating my intentions to the Universe.

Take the invitation! I live in Minnesota. It’s a very beautiful and picturesque state. Yet I would love to go visit my Aunt or Grandparents down in Florida, if I had the chance. Many people have loved ones in different parts of the world, so if you do, just go! You save a bundle if you don’t have to pay to stay at a hotel and you have a free tour guide.

Travel companions are a great for boosting travel magic. Do you have specific people you want to visit or favorite friends to travel with? If so, this is an energetic asset. Others who want to adventure with you will boost travel intentions you are sending out to the Universe, doubling the magic vibes.

Literally, save your pennies. Keep a jar for spare change or several of them around the house to collect for the specific reason of travel. Try your very hardest to only use it for taking a well-deserved journey. Hide it in the safe if you need to! Yet don’t feel bad if life comes knocking on the door, it happens, start over and make it happen. You deserve it and you are worth it.

Give yourself permission. Many people feel like something else is always more important to spend their money on. This is not true. Give yourself permission to spend your money and time on what makes you happy. Putting your needs and wants on the list of priorities is good for your soul and self-worth. Remember all work and no play makes us crazy. Give yourself permission to have fun!

Stop rationalizing and talking yourselves down from the ventures our souls truly crave… You just never know how life changing your trips may be if you don’t go. I hear your soul whispering, excitedly craving adventure. Where are you being pulled to?

~ Emy Minzel, Adventure Sister

Serendipity

Thanksgiving is quickly approaching. This gives us all an opportunity to examine what we are grateful for. A moment of serendipity changed my world and my life for the better. It introduced me to a new place that allowed me to have adventures I may not have had otherwise. It also was the back drop for years of self improvement, helping me to become a better version of myself.

It all started with a Groupon. My friend Emy and I enjoyed going canoeing and kayaking. Although, we had not done much of it, at that time. I saw a package for a 3 day canoe trip. I envisioned Emy and I out on the water, enjoying the wilderness and the sun. I did not comprehend what this canoe trip really was all about. We bought the deal and the adventure began. I could not have envisions how my life would change because of it.

The canoe trip was in a place called the Boundary Water Canoe Area (BWCA). If you love the outdoors, isolation, and camping, then this place is for you. It is untamed wilderness. Lakes and forests provide a beautiful sanctuary for the area wildlife. Motorized vehicles are not allowed in most of the BWCA. Even a cooler with wheels is considered mechanized. The only way in is to canoe. When you need to move from one body of water to the next, you pick up all of your gear and your canoe. You portage (carry) it all to the next body of water. Quite the enterprise. Each lake will have campsites. They are far apart and isolated. A lake may only have 3 campsites on it, or less if it is a small lake. A campsite consists of a cooking grate and a pit toilet. There are no walls around the pit toilet but lots of trees and wilderness to provide for your privacy.

What you have is what you bring with you. Literally what you carry on your back. This untamed wilderness provided us with challenges we had not faced before. We had adventures that have kept us coming back year after year. The BCWA provided us with growth, individually, and as a team. It has provided me with a sense of pride. These trips have reminded me that I am capable of great things. If you put a challenge in front of me, I will do everything in my power to overcome it and succeed.

I am grateful for this moment of serendipity that improved my life and I am grateful for the changes I have made in myself. This first adventure helped me to be a better person and hopefully provide a positive influence to the world around me. It fortified my belief in magic and in myself.

What moments of serendipity do you have to be grateful for. How has a moment or experience changed your life for the better?

11 Tips for Creating a Powerful Vision Board

Vision boards can be a powerful tool to help you focus on the things you want to bring into your life. I first heard of the practice when the book, The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, was on the New York Time Best Seller list. I have since created many vision boards and have had amazing results. Here are some tips to help your vision boarding be magical.

What do you want? ~ New car, travel, happiness. It might be all three or it might be you want the new car because it will allow you to travel, which you think will bring you happiness. Make a list of what it is you really want.
Variety of sources ~ There are several sources you can use to find images to attach to your project. Cut them out of magazines. Print things off the internet. Use photos of yourself. You can even draw images yourself.
Meaningful photos ~ I wanted to loose weight for one of the vision boards I was creating. I used pictures of myself from a time in my life when I was thin. Another time I wanted to have endless energy. I used photos of myself, wearing my bike helmet with my bike.
Words ~ Words have meanings. Using powerful words on your board along with pictures can really help clarify what you are manifesting.
Choose with feeling ~ Choose pictures and words that evoke a feeling in you. Feelings will make your board more powerful.
Creativity ~ The more of yourself you put into your vision the better it will work. Using your creativity connects it to your heart. Draw pictures or decorate words. Add your own flair.
Size matters ~ Don’t pick a really big size if there is no where to keep it up. Don’t use something so small you wont notice it.
Location, location, location ~ Will it live in your office? Hang over your bed so you see it when you wake up? Are you mobile so it has to be carried on your clip board. I wanted a grandfather clock once, because it reminded me of being at my grandparents house. I carried a picture of it on my clipboard until one day it was delivered to my home.
Have fun ~ The more fun you have while creating, the more happy, grateful, feel good emotions that will be attached to your board. When you look at it this is what you want to feel.
Make it an event ~ Invite a friend or two over to create with you. This will again attach happy fun memories and set the intention with positivity.
Believe ~ Just believe in the possibilities. You do not have to believe everything on the board will come true. You just have to believe everything on the board may come to you.

I enjoy the fun creative process of vision boarding. I hope, with these tips, you will find it a great way to improve your life. Do you have other tips? Do you have successes that could inspire others? Please share.

Go towards fear?

Our first year going into the Boundary Water Canoe Area, Emy and I were full of nervous energy and a lot of that was covered up with bravado. We wanted to hit the water right away at 5am when the outfitters open, so that we could make the most of the first day. The night before we stayed in the bunk house. We shared our bunk house room with others.

There was a group of men that stayed in one room and there was John. John was there from the Chicago area for his annual BWCA trip with his buddies. There was only one problem. John’s buddies all for one reason or another were not going to make it. I was impressed with John, who took all of this in stride and decided he would venture out into he wilderness solo. John also had nervous energy covered up with bravado as he talked about his voyage. He told us about the length of his BWCA adventure and the amount of portaging he was going to have to do. The weather was predicting rain. Emy and I put on our manifestation hats and told John to focus on sunshine and sunshine is what he would get. John was a good natured fellow and took our advise in stride.

We sat on the steps of the bunkhouse that night, all of us nervous. All of us also excited about what our trip would bring. The lamp outside the door blanketed us in a yellow glow. A moth floated back and forth between us as we chatted. Other nighttime insects buzzed around. At this point Emy and I were thinking we were in a little over our heads. I wonder if John felt the same way too. It was a totally empowering feeling to be taking on the untamed wilderness. It was also quite scary.

As Emy and I sat in the rain at our campsite the next day, we wondered if John was sitting in the rain. We wondered what it was like to be out in the wilderness, on a trip that was planned with friends, now taking it alone.

Those things that scare us can empower us. Someone told me recently to go toward my fear. To use fear as a gage that I am doing the right thing. During that first trip to the BWCA, so many years ago, we went toward our fear and our life has been so much richer as a result. Two women, alone out in the forest, surviving with what we carried in and what we could catch. When we planned the trip we didn’t know what we were getting ourselves into. Now we can’t imagine our lives without it.

What things have you done that scared you but now have made you life richer or fuller? What do you think about going towards your fear? Is that good advice or not?

It’s not going to be easy but it will be worth it

I was walking in the woods one day and I came across a fairly large teepee structure. Near the structure there were several pages that had been torn out of a book laying on the ground. The heading on one of the pages said, “I am not telling you it will be easy, I am telling you it will be worth it”.
If we did not have to exert the extra effort we would not appreciate the blessing in our lives. I can compare this to Emy and my trips to the Boundary Waters. It was a lot of work to get there. Surviving while there was also a lot of work. It was not easy but in the end it was totally worth it. We were out in the middle of nature and hardly saw another human. We were surrounded by lush forests and clean lakes. There were no noisy motors to disturb our peace. It is an amazing place. The “work” of getting there and being there was not easy, but it was totally worth it.
Another example I have of this is my career. I have been blessed with opportunities to advance in my career. It has not been easy, it has required late nights and early mornings. I have had to work holidays and weekends. I have had to make choices about how to utilize my time. I have had to put in an amazing amount of effort and deal with stressful situations. It has not been easy but it has been worth it.
I think we have gut reaction when we see successful people. We think they are so lucky. This headline on a discarded page from a book, laying in the woods has caused me to rethink all of this. I was recently at a writers workshop. During the workshop they said it takes about 10 years to become an overnight success. With all the focus on the “Law of Attraction” we are lead to believe it should be easy. If we focus on what we want and keep our thoughts positive all of our dreams will come to us. I don’t deny that some people live very blessed lives. I also don’t deny the power of our thoughts and focusing on what we want. How these opportunities come to us may require us to roll up our sleeves and get busy to move our dreams into being. I have a friend who is an astrologer. I can remember him telling me that even though the planets may be aligned for romance, if I stayed in my house watching TV I was unlikely to find the love of my life. When the stars are aligned or the opportunity presents itself we have to be ready and willing to put ourselves out there and put energy into the project. I personally am ready and willing to dig in and put forth effort to make my dreams a reality.
What are your thoughts?