Blessings Beyond What Is Typical

We have an employee wellness program where I work. One of the wellness activities was to make a list of things we are thankful for. There are so many reason why we should focus on the items we are thankful for. It improves mood. What we think about, come about. We are more likely to be generous with others when we recognize the gifts in our own life. I am sure anyone reading this could immediately come up with many blessings we have in our life. But what of the things we take for granted? What of the things that are hidden blessings?

Immediately when thinking about what i am thankful for I go to the standard blessings. My 3 beautiful daughters and stepson, 4 grandchildren, supportive husband, my home, job, my Adventure Sister Emy, dear friends, smart coworkers, and the like. I live a blessed life. My life has always had a way of working out and having things fall into place for the best. Of course we all have different blessing. What I call blessings, others may not feel the same way about. I may have blessings others do not; they likely also have blessings I do not.

There are so many things that we take for granted that others would consider a true benefit. I have always been healthy and as such I have taken my health for granted. Recently when I broke my wrist and did not have the use of my dominate hand I learned appreciation for my right hand. Another thing I have always taken for granted is the mobility we have by living in an age where planes, trains, and automobiles are plentiful. I had an elderly patient tell me one time about when she was sick as a child. Her father had to put her in the back of the wagon or buggy and hitch it to horses. It took them two days to get her to the hospital for treatment. Additionally it was winter so wrapped up in warm blankets was her protection form the elements. I know she was grateful for getting to the hospital. How different is that from our lives today. Emy Minzel, my Adventure Sister, has a blog post coming soon on EmyMinzel.com about another area we often don’t count as an blessing but it totally is. It should be on her blog by Jan 6th or 7th. I encourage you to look for it.

Hidden blessing are those things that do not seem like something to be glad for in the beginning. A teenage daughter coming home pregnant, can feel like the end of the world. After your grandchild is born, however, it can feel like the world is new and full of more love than you knew was possible. A divorce, can feel like everything is crumbling. It may take years of healing and mourning the loss of the marriage, but one day you may be ready to move on. The next marriage or relationship may be much healthier and more supportive. Or perhaps simply having a healthy self esteem and view of yourself will be the price at the end of the hard times. I once had a job that I loved. I decreased my hours to put family first. The owners made a decision to demote me and hire someone else into my position. At the time I felt so hurt and like such a failure. I quit that job and ended up in a much better job where there was more opportunity for advancement and better pay. Sometime God or the Universe conspires to bring us to better places, even though the path may be painful.

As I look out the window at a beautiful sunny day sparkling off the snow that blankets the backyard, I am grateful for the 3 degree Fahrenheit temperatures. After all it is 20 warmer than it was a few days ago and the sun is shining. Count your blessings, make a list of things you are thankful for, start a gratitude journal. What ever works to help keep your blessings in the front of your mind. Do not forget those things we take for granted and those times in life that turned out to be for the best, even if it didn’t feel like it at the time.

What hidden blessing have you had in your life? Have you had experiences you would like to share that made you realize something/someone you were taking for granted?

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Bringing Hidden Emotions to the Surface

Recently Emy and I started planning our next BWCA trip. We were debating how many days we should stay. Because there is usually no cell service and you have to arrange for an outfitter to drop you off and pick you up, once you are there, you are there for the duration. I have noticed that when I am “stuck” somewhere, without some distraction, my emotions move.

There was one year that it rained, a lot! Emy and I passed the time sitting under a tarp, drinking tea, journaling, and talking. There is no electricity so using your phone for entertainment is not an option. After hours of sitting under our shelter I felt this desire to leave. I didn’t want to be there anymore. It was like my “fight/flight” response was in full swing and I wanted to run! Of course there was no way and no where to run to. I had to just sit. Then a breakthrough happened. My emotions broke free. I had a revelation. I became aware of some old thoughts about myself that I was holding as true. I realized that I did not believe I was lovable. I broke into tears and cried (something I seldom do). Because of this solitude and sanctuary of the forest, I was able to process this emotion.

Another year, it was the day before we were scheduled to leave, a beautiful sunny day had us lounging in the sun. I could feel the anxiety building in me. Our scheduled pick up time on the next day seemed so late in the day to me. We had a long drive to Emy’s home and then I had an additional hour to my house. I needed to unpack from the BWCA trip. I was scheduled on an early morning flight the next day for work and needed to pack for that trip. Laying there, on a warm rock, next to a sparkling lake, I once again felt that “fight/flight” instinct kick in and I wanted to run. I needed to get home and get stuff done! With nowhere to go and nothing I could do, I asked myself why I was feeling this way. Digging into those emotions and explored their root cause, helped me realized it was about not speaking up for myself. When we were arranging our pickup time, I knew I needed to leave early. When Emy suggested a later pickup time to the outfitter, I didn’t explain to her my perceived need to leave early because of pressure to get ready for a work trip. I just passively let her pick the time. Here it was four or five days later and it was causing me discomfort. Being in a place where I could allow my emotions to surface without the distractions the modern world offers us, gave me the time and space to allow the emotions to surface. I had the ability to dig into them and see what was causing them. I then knew how to prevent feeling like this in the future and advocate for myself.

So often in life we use distractions so that we do not have to deal with our emotions. TV, alcohol, games on our phones, housework, and so many other things to “be busy” and not have to deal with or process our emotions. Give yourself time and space to just be. Even though, at times, it may be uncomfortable it will allow those old emotions to break free. Then you can deal with them and release them.

What types of things do you do to “be busy” and not feel? How do you find space to let these emotions surface?

Escaping from Reality

Have you ever wanted to be free from reality? Escape from it? I think we all have from time to time. Recently I heard the song Lost Boy by Ruth B. She talks about playing in the woods and being free. It brought to mind Emy and my trips to the Boundary Waters. The Boundary Water Canoe Area (BWCA) is a magical place. It does allow for an escape from reality, while hanging out and playing in the forest.
If you are not familiar with the BWCA it is unspoiled wilderness. Located in Northern Minnesota and Southern Ontario, it is forest and waterways. You canoe in and when you get to land, you pick up what you brought and portage (aka carry) it to the next body of water. The campsites are isolated and you see very few people up there. You will hear the wolves howling, see the occasional moose, and need to protect your food from the bears. It is a wonderful place to escape from reality. Cell service is spotty at best and absent all together in most of the BWCA.
It was in the BWCA that the Adventure Sisters were born. Emy and I went on our own into the untamed wilderness. Two ordinary woman out to have an adventure. The term “adulting” has become popular lately. The idea that we have to make responsible decisions even when they may not be fun decisions. Our yearly trip to the BWCA gives a nice break from the day to day responsibilities of adulting. There we have to survive. The only things you have are what you brought with you. So your decisions are based on survival.
There is a lot of work to taking a trip in the BWCA but it is a therapeutic type of work. Wondering in the forest looking for sticks, twigs, and branches, for a fire hardly feels like work. Paddling across a lake scouting for a campsite, seems almost more like play. Pitching the tent and setting up camp feels like adventure. There is also a lot of time for sitting around the fire, floating in the lake, and laying in the sun.
It is quiet out there amongst the trees, lakes, and wildlife. The chatter of a red squirrel and rustling of the breeze in the leaves allow an escape from reality. It allows you to go within, connect with yourself, and remember who you are. There is a peace and a flow to that place. It is a magical place. I find, since that first trip several years ago, I carry it with me in my heart. My own Neverland. My own way to be free.
Do you have a special place you go to when you need peace? Is it a real physical place or Imagined? What is it about this place the gives you that peaceful escape from reality?

7 Techniques to Keep Spiritual Ego in Check

Have you ever run across a spiritual teacher who believes they have all the answers. They may even bad mouth other spiritual teachers? Perhaps they do things or treat people in ways you do not agree with? This is what I call spiritual ego. It is when a person believes they have all the answers and use that to justify their actions. It may even cause a falling out between people.

Spiritual ego is certainly not something that just happens to spiritual teachers. Any of us can fall prey to our own spiritual ego. How can you avoid this?

1. Know you do not have all the answers. There is a lot of mystery in spirituality. Accept that the mystery is a part of it.

2. Be willing to listen to others view points. We all want to share the things in our own spirituality that give us peace, comfort, or joy. Others do to. By listening we may hear or learn something that deepens our own spirituality.

3. Accept others where they are at. Everyone is at their own place on their spiritual journey. They are at the exact place they are meant to be in this time and place. Just because their journey is different than yours does not make it wrong.

4. Don’t judge. There are many types of spirituality out there. They range from giant organized religions to highly personalized, individual relationships with a greater power. If you study major religions you will see there are more similarities than differences. Recognizing that we are all the same, in the most basic ways, is a huge step to laying your judgments aside.

5. The golden rule. “Do unto others as you would have other do unto you”. This has always resonated with me. Did you know most of the world religions have a version of this.

6. Allow for expansion. When we allow ourselves to expand it is easy to be more inclusive. We allow change within ourselves and open to the possibility of becoming a bigger better version of ourselves.

7. See yourself in the other. When we allow ourselves to see aspects of us in the other person, it creates empathy and understanding.

Spirituality is a beautiful thing and can be very comforting. Believing we have all the answers can be dangerous and can lead to spiritual ego. I know atheists who are more kind, giving, loving, and altruistic than some religious people I know. Be open to others individuality and personal journeys. This will help you to keep your own spiritual ego in check.

8 Natural Cures for Headaches

Nothing can disrupt a good day quite like a headache. It makes it hard to concentrate and hard to get tasks finished. Reading things or even viewing programs can be painful. All you want to do is hide in the dark. When Acetaminophen and Ibuprofen just won’t do, either because they don’t work or you want a more natural alternative, what can you do? Here are some ideas of things you can try.

1. Meditation – some nice deep breathing in a dimly lit room with your eyes closed. This helps to relieve stress and calm your headache.
2. Essential Oils – Frankincense and Lavender are two great oils that help many different things. Peppermint is also especially powerful for headaches. It is best to put it on the back of your neck or your wrists. Keep the oils away from your eyes. Especially the peppermint.
3. Massage – There is nothing quite like having someone rub away the kinks and knots in your neck. Professional massage therapists know just what to do when you have a persistent headache. You can even ask your friends and family to try to rub your neck and loosen some of the stiff muscles.
4. Ice packs – A nice cool pack on your back of your neck or head can help calm spasming muscles. I have a cherry pit pack, I keep it in the freezer. It can also be heated in the microwave for old aches. This item is essential in my arsenal against pain.
5. Reiki – Or any energy healing. Quantum touch, Qigong, Healing touch, are all types of energy healings. These can be powerful in getting rid of a persistent headache. They can be a bit costly. I used to charge $75/hr. Perhaps you can offer to trade with a healer, if this is more than you can afford for a headache remedy. I find that good energy work is totally worth the costs. Maybe someday health insure will cover these services.
6. Caffeine – Are you addicted to caffeine? If you have substantial daily caffeine intake, it may be a sign of withdraws. I would recommend you have a little caffeine to help decrease the discomfort and start to wean yourself off of this addictive substance.
7. Water – A headache can be a sign of dehydration. Make sure you are drinking lots of nice pure water. Did you know that caffeine is a diuretic? It can actually make you more dehydrated when you are drinking caffeinated beverages.
8. Acupuncture – You might think having needles stuck in you is not very relaxing. You would be surprised. I find this one of the most relaxing modalities I have ever had done. It helps remove blocks and restore energy flows. Give it a try and you just might like it.

What other things have you done to help persistent head aches? What is your favorite natural way to combat headaches?

Maintaining effective communication during the holidays

Today’s blog is written by Emy Minzel, Adventure Sister.

The stress of the holidays has a way of bringing us closer or tearing us apart. I hear stories that make me laugh, cry, and groan, sometimes all at the same time. I would like to focus on how we convey or communicate love in our closest family relationships. I am guilty of getting defensive when I hear something I may not agree with from people I love. Yet through my years I’ve learned it’s not the best way to communicate effectively.

We know that when our parents, family, and friends are meddling in our lives it’s usually because they love you and see things from a different perspective. They may have advice we don’t want to hear, but it is important for us to listen with love. They speak up because they had been there and done that, and don’t want to do it again. They warn us or tell us ‘how it is’ because they love you, even if it upsets us and pisses us off.

What if we decided to give our dearest family and friends, the benefit of the doubt? Choose to think only the best of them. If we tried to recognize that whatever they do or say, they do it out of love or fear. Then we could also assume that the people we love, do the best they can, in the time and space they’ve been given. I have realized that all our actions, the good, the bad, and the ugly, come from fear or love. At the root, we all want to be loved. As we grow in different ways and different directions, the way we communicate changes as well.

What matters is that we continue to communicate. Even if we are scared, it’s important to tell our loved ones if you are fearful, or hurt, without assuming their actions or words were purposely harmful. Most likely they were not. Keeping lines of communication open, by not overreacting or shutting down is difficult for some, yet it’s imperative for effective communication. When we overreact and blow up, our emotions take over and our ears stop listening, stopping any connection in its tracks. This can affect even our closest most cherished relationships.

What if we met miscommunication and perceived hurt with love? Understanding that loved ones are either fearful of something or trying to show love in a way you may not understand. How would the conversation change if we chose to calm fears, by focusing on love? It may take courage to ask our loved ones to explain until we understand. It takes disciplined focus to speak our truth the best we are able, in the kindest way possible. It’s well worth the work we put in to communicating well, we should talk and know it’s ok to agree to disagree, respectfully.

It can be hard to remember that how we communicate our thoughts and feelings will define our character. How we act/react, handle hard times/good times/holidays, how you make someone feel, the words you choose and how you say them become how you communicate. How you communicate portrays how your closest family and friends will remember you.

My hopes this holiday season are that you too choose love and communication. Remembering that most of your family will act out of fear or love. When we focus on love, we open understanding and healing, this is how we make the world a better place, one family at a time.

~ Emy Minzel, Adventure Sister

10 tricks to stop negative energy and refocus it to the positive.

Today’s blog is written by my beautiful, smart, daughter, Liz Lamoureux. She makes me so proud!

Sometimes life likes to challenge us by giving us what we think is more than we can handle. Unfortunately, when we feel this way there is nothing we can do but carry on anyways. So here are some techniques to help you when you find yourself feeling overwhelmed.

Count your blessings. A very important thing to remember when you’re feeling sorry for yourself is that someone always has it worse than you. One reason we may have to encounter difficult times in our lives is to remind us of all the things we should be grateful for. For every negative comment, find three positive blessings to replace it.

Reach out to your support system. Having a support system is not only something to be grateful for but very helpful when you think you’ve been dealt more than you can handle. Reaching out to someone to vent to or a group that has been in similar situations, can be very beneficial. Just keep in mind that someone may not always be available to you so you might need to find another form of release.

Count to 10. When you are at your prime “freak-out” moment, STOP! These are the times to just breathe and count to 10. Giving yourself 10 seconds to cool down can be the difference of giving yourself over to further destructions or just accepting your current fate.

Go for a walk, Going for a walk or exercising is a great way to release the negative energy or tension built up. Many people even find it helpful to just pace around.

Laugh about it. Sometimes life is just so ridiculously unbelievable all you can do is laugh about. Ever heard the expression “laugh to keep from crying?” That is exactly it. While crying is a healthy way to express emotion; laughing can be just as, if not more, beneficial. So next time just try laughing about that spilt milk.

Distraction. Finding ways to distract yourself can really help ease the negative emotions you are feelings. It is a little escape to bake your favorite dish, mold your favorite project or play that great game. It’s a nice little break for yourself.

Deal with it. Sometimes what is going on may not be able to be pushed off. This is the time to put your “big kid pants” on and deal with it. Procrastinating these types of situations may only further your struggles and facing your situation head-on will feel like a weight lifted off your shoulders in the end.

Be Creative. Reaching out to our creative side at these times is a good way to out that energy into something great. It could be listening to music and dancing it off, writing about it or maybe you’re a painter and the times with true emotion is the times great art is born.

Essential oils/calming tea. If you’re feeling overly energized with whatever is going on in your life maybe you need to have a drink! A drink of herbal tea, that is. Great relaxing teas are those that contain chamomile or lavender. Herbal teas have very calming effects as do essential oils. Chamomile and lavender oils are on the list,of course, but some other ones to try are ylang ylang, cinnamon, rose and sandalwood. Rub a couple drops on your wrists or neck, and behold a calming effect.

Take a nap, A wise man once told me tomorrow is a new day. Sometimes you just have to take a rest, let your body and mind process everything and re energize. More times than not you find yourself feeling 100x better when you wake up and maybe some new ideas on how to cope with whatever you are being challenged with.

~Liz Lamoureux

What do I Have To Learn From This?

Four days before Thanksgiving I fell and crushed my wrist. Friends and family from everywhere were about to descend upon my home in anticipation of the traditional Thanksgiving meal. It was my dominant wrist that I broke in the fall. What do I have to learn from this situation, other than watching where I step? How am I going to get through this? Should I just cancel the holiday? All of these questions and more were going through my head. Here’s how I managed to get through it.

Go with the flow. The first thing I had to do was realize I had no control of the situation. All I could do was take a deep breath and realize that it was all going be OK and go with the flow. It may not be what I had originally envisioned but it would be OK.
Ask for help. I had to call in the troops. I called my daughters who agreed to spend the night on Wednesday in order to help make the homemade buns. They also aided in getting all the side dishes and turkey properly prepared. A friend had to drive me to my doctors appointment. I also got help to go shopping for groceries.
Examine my expectations. I have always been a person with very high expectations for myself and of others. I had to examine my expectations and realize that it was unrealistic for me to try and do this all alone. I had to allow for other ways to do things. My way might not be the only way.
Slow down. Not only was my wrist broken, but also my hemoglobin (Iron) was 9.6. 12.5 is a normal result. I was feeling extremely fatigued. The pain and the effort to complete tasks with only my left hand was taking a toll on me. Which further increased my fatigue. I had to learn to take it slow and allow myself time to rest. Anyone who knows me, knows that rest does not come easily to me. I am the type of person who will push through to get things completed.
It’s not about me. Thanksgiving is about what there is to be thankful for. It is also about the coming together with friends and family. This misfortune did not change any of that. In fact it gave me more to be thankful for. I have gratitude for all of those who helped and offered to help. I am grateful because the kitchen was cleaned up without my interference. All of this help and other help that was offered made this gathering possible. My life is truly full of blessings.

So what are the lessons that a fractured radius and ulna have to bring me? It’s taught me a lot. I have learned to be grateful for all that I have, including the friends and family who rallied to support me. It’s taught me that there are other ways for things to be accomplished. It’s taught me that it’s OK to be weak sometimes. It’s taught me that perfection can be found in situations that are not ideal. Have you had situations like this? Have you had to learn things the hard way? Do you have any stories to share with us?

5 Tips to Turn Travels Dreams into Reality

Todays blog is written by my Adventure Sister, Emy Minzel.

Travel magic is something I have been blessed with, yet in recent years I have forgotten to use it. All I do lately, is change traffic lights, clear traffic jams or score good parking spots. Handy but… so boring! I love the outdoors, the sunshine in my eyes, new experiences, and making new friends. I am a water baby and adrenaline junky in disguise as a Massage Therapist and stay at home dog mom. My alter ego is an Adventure Sister. I love and miss her something terrible when she’s stagnant.

I have a gypsy soul that gets restless, if kept in captivity, I start to feel extreme anxiety. I pace like a caged cat kept inside for too long or clean obsessively, creating my own form of OCD. Why have I let this happen? Well, life needed me here at home. I have a business to build and maintain, pets to care for, and family to tend too but that isn’t reason enough to stop adventuring is it? No, not for me.

I vow to start making my travel magic work for me and here is how I will do it.

Have a destination in mind: Intention is everything! Give the destination a good amount of your attention and energy. If you are going to Denver Colorado, go on-line to research places to see, places to eat, and things to do in Denver. Then make a travel itinerary or plan, to let the Universe know you are serious. Talk about it. I love to talk about where I want to go and what I want to do while I am there and with whom I would like to do it with. Stating my intentions to the Universe.

Take the invitation! I live in Minnesota. It’s a very beautiful and picturesque state. Yet I would love to go visit my Aunt or Grandparents down in Florida, if I had the chance. Many people have loved ones in different parts of the world, so if you do, just go! You save a bundle if you don’t have to pay to stay at a hotel and you have a free tour guide.

Travel companions are a great for boosting travel magic. Do you have specific people you want to visit or favorite friends to travel with? If so, this is an energetic asset. Others who want to adventure with you will boost travel intentions you are sending out to the Universe, doubling the magic vibes.

Literally, save your pennies. Keep a jar for spare change or several of them around the house to collect for the specific reason of travel. Try your very hardest to only use it for taking a well-deserved journey. Hide it in the safe if you need to! Yet don’t feel bad if life comes knocking on the door, it happens, start over and make it happen. You deserve it and you are worth it.

Give yourself permission. Many people feel like something else is always more important to spend their money on. This is not true. Give yourself permission to spend your money and time on what makes you happy. Putting your needs and wants on the list of priorities is good for your soul and self-worth. Remember all work and no play makes us crazy. Give yourself permission to have fun!

Stop rationalizing and talking yourselves down from the ventures our souls truly crave… You just never know how life changing your trips may be if you don’t go. I hear your soul whispering, excitedly craving adventure. Where are you being pulled to?

~ Emy Minzel, Adventure Sister

Serendipity

Thanksgiving is quickly approaching. This gives us all an opportunity to examine what we are grateful for. A moment of serendipity changed my world and my life for the better. It introduced me to a new place that allowed me to have adventures I may not have had otherwise. It also was the back drop for years of self improvement, helping me to become a better version of myself.

It all started with a Groupon. My friend Emy and I enjoyed going canoeing and kayaking. Although, we had not done much of it, at that time. I saw a package for a 3 day canoe trip. I envisioned Emy and I out on the water, enjoying the wilderness and the sun. I did not comprehend what this canoe trip really was all about. We bought the deal and the adventure began. I could not have envisions how my life would change because of it.

The canoe trip was in a place called the Boundary Water Canoe Area (BWCA). If you love the outdoors, isolation, and camping, then this place is for you. It is untamed wilderness. Lakes and forests provide a beautiful sanctuary for the area wildlife. Motorized vehicles are not allowed in most of the BWCA. Even a cooler with wheels is considered mechanized. The only way in is to canoe. When you need to move from one body of water to the next, you pick up all of your gear and your canoe. You portage (carry) it all to the next body of water. Quite the enterprise. Each lake will have campsites. They are far apart and isolated. A lake may only have 3 campsites on it, or less if it is a small lake. A campsite consists of a cooking grate and a pit toilet. There are no walls around the pit toilet but lots of trees and wilderness to provide for your privacy.

What you have is what you bring with you. Literally what you carry on your back. This untamed wilderness provided us with challenges we had not faced before. We had adventures that have kept us coming back year after year. The BCWA provided us with growth, individually, and as a team. It has provided me with a sense of pride. These trips have reminded me that I am capable of great things. If you put a challenge in front of me, I will do everything in my power to overcome it and succeed.

I am grateful for this moment of serendipity that improved my life and I am grateful for the changes I have made in myself. This first adventure helped me to be a better person and hopefully provide a positive influence to the world around me. It fortified my belief in magic and in myself.

What moments of serendipity do you have to be grateful for. How has a moment or experience changed your life for the better?