Bringing Hidden Emotions to the Surface

Recently Emy and I started planning our next BWCA trip. We were debating how many days we should stay. Because there is usually no cell service and you have to arrange for an outfitter to drop you off and pick you up, once you are there, you are there for the duration. I have noticed that when I am “stuck” somewhere, without some distraction, my emotions move.

There was one year that it rained, a lot! Emy and I passed the time sitting under a tarp, drinking tea, journaling, and talking. There is no electricity so using your phone for entertainment is not an option. After hours of sitting under our shelter I felt this desire to leave. I didn’t want to be there anymore. It was like my “fight/flight” response was in full swing and I wanted to run! Of course there was no way and no where to run to. I had to just sit. Then a breakthrough happened. My emotions broke free. I had a revelation. I became aware of some old thoughts about myself that I was holding as true. I realized that I did not believe I was lovable. I broke into tears and cried (something I seldom do). Because of this solitude and sanctuary of the forest, I was able to process this emotion.

Another year, it was the day before we were scheduled to leave, a beautiful sunny day had us lounging in the sun. I could feel the anxiety building in me. Our scheduled pick up time on the next day seemed so late in the day to me. We had a long drive to Emy’s home and then I had an additional hour to my house. I needed to unpack from the BWCA trip. I was scheduled on an early morning flight the next day for work and needed to pack for that trip. Laying there, on a warm rock, next to a sparkling lake, I once again felt that “fight/flight” instinct kick in and I wanted to run. I needed to get home and get stuff done! With nowhere to go and nothing I could do, I asked myself why I was feeling this way. Digging into those emotions and explored their root cause, helped me realized it was about not speaking up for myself. When we were arranging our pickup time, I knew I needed to leave early. When Emy suggested a later pickup time to the outfitter, I didn’t explain to her my perceived need to leave early because of pressure to get ready for a work trip. I just passively let her pick the time. Here it was four or five days later and it was causing me discomfort. Being in a place where I could allow my emotions to surface without the distractions the modern world offers us, gave me the time and space to allow the emotions to surface. I had the ability to dig into them and see what was causing them. I then knew how to prevent feeling like this in the future and advocate for myself.

So often in life we use distractions so that we do not have to deal with our emotions. TV, alcohol, games on our phones, housework, and so many other things to “be busy” and not have to deal with or process our emotions. Give yourself time and space to just be. Even though, at times, it may be uncomfortable it will allow those old emotions to break free. Then you can deal with them and release them.

What types of things do you do to “be busy” and not feel? How do you find space to let these emotions surface?

5 of My Favorite Places

I simply love to travel. My blessed life and amazing job has given me the opportunity to travel quite a bit. I have loved every trip and every new destination. There are, however, some that are my favorites. These are places I would like to go back to again and again. My husband and I were planning some new trips and this caused me to reflect on some of my favorite places.
1. The Pacific Northwest. I am enchanted with this part of the country. Its volcanic mountains and giant tree filled mossy forests make for stunning scenery. The area is a rain forest and so magical. You can imagine fairies and gnomes peaking at you from amongst the branches. The Portland Saturday Market is full of interesting and talented artisans. Breitenbush Hot Springs Retreat and Conference Center provides a unique experience in the mountains and the opportunity to go within while there.
2. Ireland. This is another magical place. Here the gnomes are replaced by leprechauns. The people of Ireland are amazing. I felt so welcome while I was there. The Burren Perfumery has beautiful gardens where you are free to wander. They grow their own plants to make the perfume. The small windy roads of the Irish countryside pass by castle ruins with sheep grazing on the grounds. It was in Ireland that I saw my first real waterfall after a long delightful hike.
3. Florence Italy. It is stunning to be walking down the street and all of a sudden there are sculptures you saw in your art history text books. The history and the art is breathtaking. While there, we were able to see Michelangelo’s David. Words cannot describe how I felt when I saw this masterpiece. The food was also quite good. Affordable authentic Italian food was plentiful and we did not have one bad meal.
4. BWCA (Boundary Water Canoe Area). If you follow my blog you have heard of this before. Untamed wilderness, very few people, and the serene beauty of the area make this a yearly destination. I have a passion for the forest and when that forest involves camping, overlooking a quiet lake and paddling tranquil water ways, it makes for an even better experience. Sitting around the campfire at night listening to the wolves howl in the distance is a harmonious lullaby.
5. Cocoa Beach Florida. There is nothing quite like laying on the beach in the sun and listening to the waves lap the shore. It can be very meditative. I learned quickly to respect the sun’s powerful energy. Drinking lots of fluids and seek shade so as not to get burned. I lived in Florida for 10 years and it still feels like home to me. I enjoy the heat and humidity. It feels like being wrapped in a warm blanket to me. Traveling more inland the vegetation changes. When I see the Spanish Moss on the old Live Oaks it gives me a whimsical feeling.
There are so many places I loved visiting. To many trips to share all of them here today. I just wanted to share a few of my favorites with you. Perhaps they will inspire you to plan a trip in the New Year. Get out of your comfort zone and go someplace new. My bucket list is bursting at the seams with yet to be taken trips. New favorites await!
What are some of your favorite places? Why do they make the top of your list?

New Years Manifestations

A few years ago I started a new practice. After many years of making a new years resolution to loose weight, start a savings account, exercise regularly, I decided it was time for a change. I instead started to write New Years manifestation list.
You may be wondering how this is different. It is not just a new name for the same old tired idea. A new perspective and new way to go about improving your life in the new year is offered through this practice. Listing the goals for the year rather than making a list of things you must do. Instead of exercise regularly as a resolution, your manifestation may be to fit and healthy. Our thoughts create our world. By focusing on positive things we want to bring into our life we allow the process of how it will happen to take care of itself.
Let me give you an example. Last year when I made my manifestation list for 2017 I put on it 3 fabulous trips. This year My husband and I went to London and Amsterdam. We got to see Stonehenge, visit relatives, and see my grandfathers homeland. We also took our son and a granddaughter to see the Grand Canyon. Additionally my husband and I went to Oregon where we made some new friends and were able to hike and see many waterfalls. As a bonus my Adventure Sister, Emy and I got to go to Orlando for a writers workshop and some playtime as well. Many of the items on my 2017 list have to do with renovations the house and hopes and prayers for family. They almost all came fully into being. A couple of them have started to unfold but are not yet finished. Nothing on the list was completely without progress.
A other advantage to manifestation list over resolutions is the sky is the limit and you can have as many items as you want on your list. I had 21 items on my manifestation list for 2017. If I had made 21 resolutions I would have quickly felt overwhelmed. With this process you can write it out and release it with blessing. You do not have to think about it until the end of the year when you get to look back and see how many items have come into being.
If you decide to adopt this process it is important you write things in the positive. So instead of paying of debt say have an abundance of money, OR to be 100% in the black. Instead of saying loose weight, say be thin and fit. That way the intention is clear and you are not attracting any more of what you do not want.
So as we prepare to go into 2018, I wish you a year of health, happiness, and success. May all of your wished be granted. By the time 2019 comes to call may we all be living the life of our dreams.
What do you think of this process? Have you done this before and have success stories to share? What is the first thing you are going to put on your New Years Manifestation list?

Escaping from Reality

Have you ever wanted to be free from reality? Escape from it? I think we all have from time to time. Recently I heard the song Lost Boy by Ruth B. She talks about playing in the woods and being free. It brought to mind Emy and my trips to the Boundary Waters. The Boundary Water Canoe Area (BWCA) is a magical place. It does allow for an escape from reality, while hanging out and playing in the forest.
If you are not familiar with the BWCA it is unspoiled wilderness. Located in Northern Minnesota and Southern Ontario, it is forest and waterways. You canoe in and when you get to land, you pick up what you brought and portage (aka carry) it to the next body of water. The campsites are isolated and you see very few people up there. You will hear the wolves howling, see the occasional moose, and need to protect your food from the bears. It is a wonderful place to escape from reality. Cell service is spotty at best and absent all together in most of the BWCA.
It was in the BWCA that the Adventure Sisters were born. Emy and I went on our own into the untamed wilderness. Two ordinary woman out to have an adventure. The term “adulting” has become popular lately. The idea that we have to make responsible decisions even when they may not be fun decisions. Our yearly trip to the BWCA gives a nice break from the day to day responsibilities of adulting. There we have to survive. The only things you have are what you brought with you. So your decisions are based on survival.
There is a lot of work to taking a trip in the BWCA but it is a therapeutic type of work. Wondering in the forest looking for sticks, twigs, and branches, for a fire hardly feels like work. Paddling across a lake scouting for a campsite, seems almost more like play. Pitching the tent and setting up camp feels like adventure. There is also a lot of time for sitting around the fire, floating in the lake, and laying in the sun.
It is quiet out there amongst the trees, lakes, and wildlife. The chatter of a red squirrel and rustling of the breeze in the leaves allow an escape from reality. It allows you to go within, connect with yourself, and remember who you are. There is a peace and a flow to that place. It is a magical place. I find, since that first trip several years ago, I carry it with me in my heart. My own Neverland. My own way to be free.
Do you have a special place you go to when you need peace? Is it a real physical place or Imagined? What is it about this place the gives you that peaceful escape from reality?

7 Techniques to Keep Spiritual Ego in Check

Have you ever run across a spiritual teacher who believes they have all the answers. They may even bad mouth other spiritual teachers? Perhaps they do things or treat people in ways you do not agree with? This is what I call spiritual ego. It is when a person believes they have all the answers and use that to justify their actions. It may even cause a falling out between people.

Spiritual ego is certainly not something that just happens to spiritual teachers. Any of us can fall prey to our own spiritual ego. How can you avoid this?

1. Know you do not have all the answers. There is a lot of mystery in spirituality. Accept that the mystery is a part of it.

2. Be willing to listen to others view points. We all want to share the things in our own spirituality that give us peace, comfort, or joy. Others do to. By listening we may hear or learn something that deepens our own spirituality.

3. Accept others where they are at. Everyone is at their own place on their spiritual journey. They are at the exact place they are meant to be in this time and place. Just because their journey is different than yours does not make it wrong.

4. Don’t judge. There are many types of spirituality out there. They range from giant organized religions to highly personalized, individual relationships with a greater power. If you study major religions you will see there are more similarities than differences. Recognizing that we are all the same, in the most basic ways, is a huge step to laying your judgments aside.

5. The golden rule. “Do unto others as you would have other do unto you”. This has always resonated with me. Did you know most of the world religions have a version of this.

6. Allow for expansion. When we allow ourselves to expand it is easy to be more inclusive. We allow change within ourselves and open to the possibility of becoming a bigger better version of ourselves.

7. See yourself in the other. When we allow ourselves to see aspects of us in the other person, it creates empathy and understanding.

Spirituality is a beautiful thing and can be very comforting. Believing we have all the answers can be dangerous and can lead to spiritual ego. I know atheists who are more kind, giving, loving, and altruistic than some religious people I know. Be open to others individuality and personal journeys. This will help you to keep your own spiritual ego in check.

How to Build Relationship Beyond the Roles We Play

Todays Blog is written by Emy Minzel, Adventure Sister.

Who am I? How do you define yourself? There are some relationship patterns we seem to get ‘stuck’ in, roles we are born into, or the positions you may appoint to yourself. I am an only child. I am the oldest child. I am the baby. I am the parent. I am the spouse. I am a mother, wife, daughter, niece, friend, business owner, and animal lover. I am aware that I exhibit a great number of contradictions. I am an adventurer that loves to be home, semi involved environmentalist, meat eating animal rights advocate, and a failing perfectionist. I am a walking contradiction. I am human.

Do you have to choose just one or two titles to identify with when we are with other people? Doing so sure would help others put you in their perceived boxes. They have you in these already. Coworkers will perceive your characteristics differently than your best friends, parents, or children perceive you. Yet you may be all of these ‘people.’ How can we consider real soul connections if we are only able to see our family and friends as only the role they play in our lives?

Certain roles come with big duties we must fulfill. these fill our lives with tasks, big and small, throughout the years. We may tell ourselves, “My parents were fabulous! I have goals to be an even better parent than mine were.” These roles can give us direction and purpose or a reason to get up every morning. Then life continues to grow and changes those roles. When we get married our roles are filled with being best friends and lovers. Maybe then children come, and we are up to our elbows in diapers, sleepless nights, work, and being bossed around by little people needing you to fill the ‘parent role.’ Yet we are still supposed to remember we have a best friend and husband/wife who still thinks of us as a lover.

We may hold on to those roles for dear life, or we may try our hardest to bust out of the mold society has us in. We may buck our roles as the child to our parents after we have children of our own. We may reject the roles, stories, or nicknames we still have attached from childhood because we are not those roles anymore. Yet to our loved ones, you will always be who they want to see. Rejecting the molds of roles society puts us in, affects all the other relationships you are in. Loved ones who don’t understand your actions, because you have changed, is part of growing in relationships. They don’t call them growing pains for nothing, do they?

Let’s take some responsibility and ask ourselves, can we possibly know who our parents truly are if we never ask them about their past, present and future? We don’t know for sure who our children are if we do not ask them about their lives and plans. How can we call our best friends best friends, if we don’t ask them questions about their lives and feelings? Instead of talking about work and the weather, we could ask questions of future dreams and goals to find deeper depth and connection.

Asking questions shows interest in connection. It helps to add more depth to their personality through years of these relationships. Showing interest in others helps us build bonds that we crave in these close relationships. Talking helps to communicate and grow into or through the roles we are pigeon holed into. Asking questions only works if we listen.

When we really listen, we can appreciate all the roles one person can encompass throughout their lives. This helps you to see what motivates them to think the way they think, or act the way they act. What if we tried honoring people for who they are, rather than the role they play in your life?

~ Emy Minzel, Adventure Sister. Have you enjoyed Emy’s blogs here at StacyCrep.com? She has been inspired to start her own blog at EmyMinzel.com. Check is to to read more of Emy’s wisdom!

8 Natural Cures for Headaches

Nothing can disrupt a good day quite like a headache. It makes it hard to concentrate and hard to get tasks finished. Reading things or even viewing programs can be painful. All you want to do is hide in the dark. When Acetaminophen and Ibuprofen just won’t do, either because they don’t work or you want a more natural alternative, what can you do? Here are some ideas of things you can try.

1. Meditation – some nice deep breathing in a dimly lit room with your eyes closed. This helps to relieve stress and calm your headache.
2. Essential Oils – Frankincense and Lavender are two great oils that help many different things. Peppermint is also especially powerful for headaches. It is best to put it on the back of your neck or your wrists. Keep the oils away from your eyes. Especially the peppermint.
3. Massage – There is nothing quite like having someone rub away the kinks and knots in your neck. Professional massage therapists know just what to do when you have a persistent headache. You can even ask your friends and family to try to rub your neck and loosen some of the stiff muscles.
4. Ice packs – A nice cool pack on your back of your neck or head can help calm spasming muscles. I have a cherry pit pack, I keep it in the freezer. It can also be heated in the microwave for old aches. This item is essential in my arsenal against pain.
5. Reiki – Or any energy healing. Quantum touch, Qigong, Healing touch, are all types of energy healings. These can be powerful in getting rid of a persistent headache. They can be a bit costly. I used to charge $75/hr. Perhaps you can offer to trade with a healer, if this is more than you can afford for a headache remedy. I find that good energy work is totally worth the costs. Maybe someday health insure will cover these services.
6. Caffeine – Are you addicted to caffeine? If you have substantial daily caffeine intake, it may be a sign of withdraws. I would recommend you have a little caffeine to help decrease the discomfort and start to wean yourself off of this addictive substance.
7. Water – A headache can be a sign of dehydration. Make sure you are drinking lots of nice pure water. Did you know that caffeine is a diuretic? It can actually make you more dehydrated when you are drinking caffeinated beverages.
8. Acupuncture – You might think having needles stuck in you is not very relaxing. You would be surprised. I find this one of the most relaxing modalities I have ever had done. It helps remove blocks and restore energy flows. Give it a try and you just might like it.

What other things have you done to help persistent head aches? What is your favorite natural way to combat headaches?

The Pain We Carry With US

I was recently talking with someone and he was telling me about a part of his life he felt was a failure. It seemed to me that the perceived failure in this part of the person’s life caused him to view himself as a failure. Failure is a very harsh word. We all carry these pains and self judgments about ourselves with us. How can we learn from them and move forward and realize these perceived failures do not define us.
Let us start by examining the word failure. Are we ever really a failure or do we just make choices that are not in our best interests? Some of the things I have done in my life, that may have seemed like failures at the time, have led me down different paths that I would not have taken if the other path had been a success. For example, there was a time, when a job did not work out the way I had planned. My position was replaced by someone else and I was given a different role at the time. I felt horrible and like a failure. As it turned out it led me to another job that was even better. Life has a way of leading us to exactly where we are meant to be.
We all have had experiences in life where things we have said and done have caused us to feel like we failed in that situation. We carry this pain with us. For a time I even felt like I had failed as a mother because of the pains that my children carry with them. I now see that all three of my daughters have grown to be beautiful, smart, dynamic women. I wish I could have spared them the pain they experienced, but I also see how this pain has formed and helped them to become the women they are today. The pain they have experienced has shaped each of them in different ways. It has given them talents and the ambition to move their lives in amazing ways. One of my daughters always fights for the underdog. She speaks out and shares her views even when it is not popular. Another one of my daughters is all about family. She loves big family gatherings and wants everyone to feel welcome and accepted. The last of my daughters leads people. She has a drive to build and lead teams. I am extremely proud of them.
Just because something does not turn out the way I had hoped, it is not a failure. We all have these times in our life. It is important that we take them out and look at them with new eyes. By allowing our view to shift we can see how, what we once thought was a failure, is in fact a blessing in disguise.
What has happened in your life, that you once thought was a failure, but now can see how it benefitted you in the long run?

Maintaining effective communication during the holidays

Today’s blog is written by Emy Minzel, Adventure Sister.

The stress of the holidays has a way of bringing us closer or tearing us apart. I hear stories that make me laugh, cry, and groan, sometimes all at the same time. I would like to focus on how we convey or communicate love in our closest family relationships. I am guilty of getting defensive when I hear something I may not agree with from people I love. Yet through my years I’ve learned it’s not the best way to communicate effectively.

We know that when our parents, family, and friends are meddling in our lives it’s usually because they love you and see things from a different perspective. They may have advice we don’t want to hear, but it is important for us to listen with love. They speak up because they had been there and done that, and don’t want to do it again. They warn us or tell us ‘how it is’ because they love you, even if it upsets us and pisses us off.

What if we decided to give our dearest family and friends, the benefit of the doubt? Choose to think only the best of them. If we tried to recognize that whatever they do or say, they do it out of love or fear. Then we could also assume that the people we love, do the best they can, in the time and space they’ve been given. I have realized that all our actions, the good, the bad, and the ugly, come from fear or love. At the root, we all want to be loved. As we grow in different ways and different directions, the way we communicate changes as well.

What matters is that we continue to communicate. Even if we are scared, it’s important to tell our loved ones if you are fearful, or hurt, without assuming their actions or words were purposely harmful. Most likely they were not. Keeping lines of communication open, by not overreacting or shutting down is difficult for some, yet it’s imperative for effective communication. When we overreact and blow up, our emotions take over and our ears stop listening, stopping any connection in its tracks. This can affect even our closest most cherished relationships.

What if we met miscommunication and perceived hurt with love? Understanding that loved ones are either fearful of something or trying to show love in a way you may not understand. How would the conversation change if we chose to calm fears, by focusing on love? It may take courage to ask our loved ones to explain until we understand. It takes disciplined focus to speak our truth the best we are able, in the kindest way possible. It’s well worth the work we put in to communicating well, we should talk and know it’s ok to agree to disagree, respectfully.

It can be hard to remember that how we communicate our thoughts and feelings will define our character. How we act/react, handle hard times/good times/holidays, how you make someone feel, the words you choose and how you say them become how you communicate. How you communicate portrays how your closest family and friends will remember you.

My hopes this holiday season are that you too choose love and communication. Remembering that most of your family will act out of fear or love. When we focus on love, we open understanding and healing, this is how we make the world a better place, one family at a time.

~ Emy Minzel, Adventure Sister

What is love?

What is love? Is it the passion you feel for your romantic partner? Is it the warmth in your heart when you see a sleeping baby? There are as many different answers to this question. Probably as there are people to ask it. I want to tell you about the selfless love my husband has displayed to me over that last couple of weeks. It has shown me another aspect to love. I am blessed to have the unconditional love of this man.

Two weeks ago I fell and broke my wrist. Having only the use of my left hand has given me challenges that I didn’t anticipate on having. We tend to under appreciate having two working hands. It isn’t until you lose the use of one hand that you recognize that. I have needed help with things that in the past I took for granted. Washing my hair, putting on my socks, and opening a container, were some of the tasks i needed help with. My husband patiently helped me with these once seemingly easy tasks.

When the pain was new and intense, he got up every 2 hours in the night to make sure I was as comfortable as possible and to give me pain medications. He has driven me to appointments and meetings. He has been right by my side throughout this process. My husband has taken over household chores that are typically my responsibility. He has done all of this with care and compassion. He is steady when I am having a meltdown because something is more difficult now. My husband reassures me, when I feel bad because I have lost my cool.

I now know that love is multifaceted. It is the hot steamy moments alone, touching and exploring pleasure together. It is looking tour new grandson with pride. It is holding hands and walking down the street as the sun sets together. Love is so much more than these sweet moments. Love is caring for another, even when it is not glamorous. Marty shows me his unending love by doing for me what i can’t not currently do for myself. He needs no praise or recognition. He does it because he loves me from deep in his soul.

I am grateful for this love. I am humbled by it. I hope he feels the depth of my love. When I bake cookies, wash the towels, and do other simple household tasks, I express this love.

What ways do you show your love?