Introvert vs Extravert; How to Find a Healthy Balance

How do you get your energy? What do you do when your batteries are down and need to be recharged? When your Life has been stressful and you just need some down time, what do you plan? Would it surprise you to know that how you answer these questions will vary depending on your “extravert” verses “introvert” tendencies?

I am an introvert and I know this about myself, that when my batteries need to be recharged, I need time alone. How very “peopley” the world is makes me tired. The idea of going to a crowded place seems exhausting to me. (This is probably made worse by the fact that I am also an Empath, but that is for another blog). My husband, on the other hand, is an extravert. He needs people and social time to get him charged up. Getting together with friends, always sounds like a good idea to him. He is a happy, “the more the merrier” type of guy. He has never met a stranger and authentically loves people.

Because of this I sometimes think introverts get a bad rap. People imagine introverts to be socially awkward, shy, and not very friendly. This is simply not true. Those attributes can belong to introverts or extraverts. Whether you are an introvert or an extravert really has more to do with where we get our energy from. I am a very social person. I enjoy public speaking and have lots of friends. I enjoy doing things with my friends and lead a monthly discussion group/class. However, when I get tired, more time with others will only cause me to feel more worn out. It takes a lot of effort for me when I am being social. It doesn’t mean I don’t need these social event or don’t have fun when I am at them. The opposite is true; I do need and want them. But it’s all about the balance.

If you have friends and family that are the opposite of you, it is always important to respect and understand their needs. If being at the mall around lots of people feeds you and makes you feel energized, understand and respect that for your buddy, it may be different. Just as I have to remember that my husband’s needs are different than mine. I work to help ensure that, in our time together, we strike a healthy balance between being social and spending quiet time alone. I have to remember that my need for quiet time should not stifle his need for social time and visa versa. We both need to be fed energetically just in different ways. So listen to what your friends and loved ones have to say about what and how they need to recharge their batteries.

So the next time you feel like you want to plan a way to reward yourself for a busy week, think if that is a night-in binge watching your favorite show or a night out at the local pub celebrating with a large group of people. Think about your friends and family members and how they seem to recharge. Finally, in your personal relationship, try an strike a healthy balance so that you both are getting what you need.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I wish you a lifetime of finding the perfect ways to recharge, as if by magic.

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Dysfunctional relationship with time?

I have had a dysfunctional relationship that I am in the process of healing. It is with time. I have had this belief that there is never enough time. A friend once told me that time is the most precious commodity because you can not make more. That made a lot of sense to me at the time. I am now changing that belief. So many of us have this same constant battle with time. What new beliefs can we substitute? What could life be like if we flowed easily within the ethereal nature of time.

I have been a workaholic. Something needs to be getting done for me to find it a worthy use of my time. “There is not enough time”. “I am running late”. “Time is running out”. “Time flies”. “Don’t waste time”. How often do we say or hear these mantras and so many more. Living in a fast paced world can feel draining. It may even seem that it is speeding up. Think about the frequency with which we hear someone say how quickly the year/day/season has gone.

Let’s work together to start to shift these beliefs. “There is an abundance of time”. “Divine time will assist me to arrive exactly when I am supposed to”. “I flow freely within the flexible nature of time”. “I can slow time to meet my desires”. “Cherish this present moment”. When you feel tempted to use one of the old ingrained mantras, try substituting one of these and see how your world changes.

Imagine a world where time is flexible and it bends to our thoughts. We live in such a world. Time is not a constant. We have the power to slow time down. Try it the next time you are really enjoying yourself. Consciously say, “I am going to slow down time. I am going to cherish every moment. There is plenty of time”. How would this change your enjoyment of that event? Living in the present or the now, you would not be distracted by worry of everything else on your mental “to do” list. Divine time says that it flows fluidly. There is not lack. There is plenty. If you trust in the Divine timing you will find you arrive perfectly when you should. Time is never wasted. Things are experienced. It adds a whole new appreciation and ease to life.

Let’s heal this relationship. Let’s live consciously in the present knowing there is plenty of time. We flow freely within the ethereal nature of it. We have the power to adjust its flow to meet our desires. We can experience life and enjoy the natural flow.

Have you tried this? What have been your results? Do you have other technics you use?

Celebrate and Live

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Once upon a time I had given my power away and forgotten who I was. I allowed myself to merge into the man I was married to as if we really were one in the same. Perhaps that sounds like a good thing for a marriage but in my case it was not. I forgot who I was. What was important to me faded away like so much smoke. I was married for 12 years; from the outside looking in we probably looked like a family who was functioning just fine. In reality we were not. I had lost myself.

Around the time of the divorce there was a song that was popular, Dynamite by Taio Cruise, which helped me reclaim my life. I would drive around with he windows down and singing along with the chorus at the top of my lungs, “I want to celebrate and live my life”! I found such joy in the process of discovering who I was. Reclaiming my power made me giddy with happiness. I feel that over the next year I came alive again. I was transformed by the process of respecting and honoring my hopes and dreams. I found ecstasy in discovering new interests and thinking for myself. It was the start of a whole new me. If the me I was when I entered that marriage were to meet the me I am now, I would not recognize myself.

By honoring who I was and how I felt happy living my life, I was able to shift so much. Even though I did not enter that marriage thinking it would end, I can see how it’s ending was such a positive thing for me. It allowed me to wake up to myself. I am married again now and my new husband gets the benefit of a wife who knows what she wants and who she is. I am able to be present in the relationship. I can respect our difference and hold the space for each of us to be individuals. We share many interests, because we both had a good understanding of who we were before we came together.

Are there ways you are giving your power away?
How can you embrace your life?
What do you want to celebrate?
How do you want to live?

If your friend had great stuff happening you would not hesitate to help your friend celebrate. Look at your life and find the reasons to celebrate. We all have them. Some may be really big deals. Some may be tiny accomplishments. Whatever the good is that is there for you, celebrate it. The more you celebrate the more your life will give you to celebrate.

Happy life my friends,
Stacy, Adventure Sister