Introspection: 5 possible approaches

Have you ever found yourself in the midst of a conflict and you’re not really sure how you got there? This has happened with me this week. I find myself in a conflict I would have never predicted and I don’t really know how we got here. It hurts my heart. I do not like conflict and typically work very hard to avoid it. All the same, here I am. I have been trying to use an introspective approach to determine what steps I can take in the future to avoid this same situation. After all, life is about moving forward.

The Oxford Dictionary defines introspection as: “the examination or observation of one’s own mental and emotional process.”  This seems like a good approach to heal this situation and avoid future ones. What could I have done differently? What within me caused me to react in the manner in which I did? What parts of myself do I need to heal in order to move forward without a similar future situation, like this,  rearing its ugly head? Introspection is about looking deeply within yourself. We can only control our own reactions and responses to situations.

There are many ways to approach introspection. Here are 5 of my favorites.

1. Journaling – journaling is a great way to let the words just flow. It is a safe space to say everything you want to say, and you never know what wisdom may flow onto the pages. There can be many “ah ha” moments while journaling.

2. Meditation – mediation allows you to step away from the circling thoughts and find a few moments of peace. This is a great space to set an intention of having clear guidance and insight flow to you. I find this a powerful process.

3. Therapy – Meeting with a good psychotherapist is a great way to have someone hold space for you to get beyond any issues at hand. This person can often help you identify blind spots or actions you do see, that can cause pain.

4. Exercise – Going for a walk, running, or yoga can also be a great way to go inside. There is something about this process that is not only healing but helpful in gaining insight into who we are and the type of actions we take.

5. Tarot – This one may seem weird to you but I find, working with either tarot cards or oracle cards, is a great way to dig into the subconscious. Our subconscious often has a different agenda than our thinking mind. Even if you do not know what a card means, looking at the symbolism you notice and thinking deeply about its message for you, can be a great source of insight.

Introspection is a great tool. Whether you are currently within a situation that brings a need to look at your own actions and intentions, or you are just on a journey to be the best version of yourself. We all have shadowy areas within ourselves. It never hurts to go in and clear out the cobwebs.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you! May you have introspective insight when you need it, as if by magic.

Please Follow the Adventure Sisters

Stacy’s Blog
Emy’s Blog
Adventure Sister’s Facebook Page
Stacy’s Instagram
Emy’s Twitter
Adventure Sister’s Pinterest Board

***Our newest website where events will be posted: 

https://adventurewithemyandstacy.com/

Messy Emotions; How to better understand yours!

Emy and I returned from our retreat with such Joy in our hearts. We decided to set an intention to keep this Joy, regardless of what life through at us. We had no idea how much we were going to be tested. A series of random concerns and annoyances turned into opportunities to learn how to hold Joy firmly in our heart.

The Joy was overflowing from my heart while on our retreat. I couldn’t stop smiling. Having had the space and time to just be and work on myself was such a beautiful gift. Then we stepped back into our lives and it was life. Things were being thrown into our path to see if we could really continue to navigate with Joy. What a test it was! When I was having an especially hard day, Emy reminded me what Wayne Dyer had said. He told us that, when we are squeezed, all that can come out is what we truly are. If I am Joy then only Joy can be squeezed out of me. So as stressful situations and heartbreaking circumstances popped up, I purposely sent Love (Joy) into the world and to the other parties involved. Hate (Fear) serves no purpose. It only hurts everyone.

I do not mean to say that I am perfect and that I didn’t feel frustrated, fearful, or even angry at some of the things going on. I just didn’t allow myself to stay in those lower vibrational feelings. I believe that ultimately there are 2 emotions and everything else are just ranges along that continuum. There is Love. This is Divinity and our true nature. Love is the energy that creates all of the beauty and blessings we are surrounded by. On the far, other side of the spectrum is Fear.

Fear holds a much lower vibration and is a place where we can get stuck. Look at a situation in your life that brings up negative emotions and then ask yourself why you feel that emotion. Keep digging away and going deeper into that emotion. Keep asking yourself what is underneath it or what is bringing this emotion up. I bet as you peel back the layers you will find Fear deep in the core. You are also likely to find Love there too.

Let’s look at an example. Say you have a friend that has some unhealthy habits. You get so frustrated with this friend; because they just continue to make these poor choices. You try to talk to them or help them but ultimately nothing changes. You may even feel angry with them or even disgusted at this point. Why? Because you love your friend and you want to see them have a happy and successful life. You are fearful that they are going to get hurt or their choices are going to cause them problems that they cannot recover from.

Try this with scenarios in your own life and see what is deep down there. Understanding where the emotions are coming from may not change how you feel but it may make it easier for you to send Love to the person or situation, rather than Fear.

Thank you for reading my blog today! I love you! May you find understanding of your emotions and acceptance of yourself, as if by magic.

*photo was taken in Ybor City, FL

Please Follow the Adventure Sisters

Stacy’s Blog
Emy’s Blog
Adventure Sister’s Facebook Page
Stacy’s Instagram
Emy’s Twitter
Adventure Sister’s Pinterest Board

It’s Not Much… But It Is

A friend gave me a gift recently. She handed me the pretty wrapped package and said; “It’s not much but…” I witness people doing this all the time. It’s like they feel embarrassed that there is not a 50 foot yacht wrapped up behind that red and white package.

The gift was very much. It was her communication to me that she loves me. It was her way of wishing me well in this festive time of year. Her gift was well thought out and something that is truly useful and meaningful to me. She took the time to think about me and choose a gift that I would definitely love. She took the time to shop for something special for me. She spent her money, which takes time to earn, to buy something for me. Her gift was very much.

Time is something many of us feel short on. It seems like it just flies by and we end up needing more hours in the day then we have. When someone spends that precious commodity to give us a nice gift, it is very much! There are so many people that touch our lives that we cannot possible give them all gifts. I feel so blessed and special when singled out as someone, important enough, to add to their Christmas list.

When you give gifts to others, whether it is this holiday season or anytime during the year. There is no need to say; “It is not much”, to the receiver. Because to them, it is much. It is a communication of; “I care about you”, “You matter to me”, “Thank you for your friendship”, and so much more.

I am so grateful for this friend. I love her.  She did not need to give me a gift to let me know she cares but I will think of her fondly every time I use her gift. Friends are such a blessing. That is the real gift for me, to be her friend.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you! May you have kind and loving friends in your life, that let you know you matter, as if by magic.

Please Follow the Adventure Sisters

Stacy’s Blog
Emy’s Blog
Adventure Sister’s Facebook Page
Stacy’s Instagram
Emy’s Twitter
Adventure Sister’s Pinterest Board

Twin Flame Relationships

Have you ever heard of the idea of a Twin Flame? Many people romanticize this concept but there really is more ‘pain’ than ‘romance’ in most Twin flame experiences. It is a very different experience from meeting your soulmate.

Twin Flames; is the concept that your soul is split in two to go into this earthly plane to have very different experiences. From my understanding; Twin Flames are typically opposites in almost every way. (Opposite sex, passions, personality, demeanor, spirituality, politics, etc.) Although many people may meet their Twin Flame, very few of these relationships are successful. The differences are just too great. It brings to mind the song from the Disney Movie, Little Mermaid; “Poor Unfortunate Souls.” When this relationship is successful, it is likely a very old soul that has worked through many experiences in countless lifetimes.

Recently, I have seen several articles about relationships between Empaths and Narcissists. It struck me that the Narcissist is the anti-empath. They cannot empathize with others. Perhaps these are actually Twin Flame relationships. Twin Flames feel like Karmic relationships. Have you ever had a friend who is drawn to someone so opposite and bad for them, that it just doesn’t make any sense, but you can’t talk them into staying away? This very well maybe a Twin Flame. Despite all the pain, they go back again and again. They can even verbalize how bad the other is for them, but like a moth to the flame, they can’t stay away.

Because Twin Flames are a split of one soul, there is a feeling of completeness and of home that comes when the two are together. It makes it that much harder for them to breakaway from each other to live a healthier more balanced life.

Relationships are one of the biggest teachers we experience in this life, especially romantic ones. Nothing will put your “stuff” in your face, like a romantic relationship. Having a romantic relationship with a Twin Flame can feel predestine and still be the most painful thing you experience. There can be lots to learn and much growth, but it will likely take just as much healing, personal work, and self discovery to recover after the relationship.

So what are your thoughts? Do you agree with me that the Narcissists and the Empaths are drawn together because they are Twin Flames? Have you had a relationship with your Twin Flame? What was your experience like?

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you! May your life be filled with happy and healthy relationships, as if by magic.

*The featured photo on this blog was taken on The Little Mermaid Ride in Disney’s Magic Kingdom, Orlando FL.

Please Follow the Adventure Sisters

Stacy’s Blog
Emy’s Blog
Adventure Sister’s Facebook Page
Stacy’s Instagram
Emy’s Twitter
Adventure Sister’s Pinterest Board

12 Tips to Help Decrease Holiday Stress

It’s holiday time. Do you love this season or does it cause you stress? Are you worried about where all the money will come from to buy everyone that perfect gift? Are you worried about people not liking your gifts? I love the general good cheer in the air but with a renewed focus on our financial goals, the holidays can be a potential step backwards. Here are some tips to help you live within your means, enjoy the holidays, reduce your stress, and still show others you care.

Set realistic expectations for yourself – No one can be it all, do it all or attend it all. Be realistic with yourself, your time, your energy, and your money. Do not sign up for more than you can take on. In the past, I felt I had to be the best entertainer, prepare the yummiest meals, decorate until not a corner of the house was untouched, give the perfect gifts and attend all the events. Age and wisdom have taught me that is not only unrealistic but also unhealthy. Be gentle with yourself.

Make a budget– I love giving as much as the next person but buying someone a more expensive gift does not change how much I love them. Decide on a reasonable dollar amount to spend and stick to it.

Start saving now for next year– put a small amount into a Holiday savings account each payday so when the next Holiday season rolls around you will not have to go into debt to buy gifts.

Talk to people about gift giving– for years my brother and I would exchange gift cards in the mail. We finally spoke and decided to each get ourselves something from the other, rather than shifting money back and forth in the mail. Buying a gift for you may be causing stress for another, so by having a conversation, you may alleviate their stress and financial burden too.

Handmade happiness – there are so many beautiful handmade gifts that you can make to give others. Depending on what you are making to give, you may have to start early in the year to get them done, so not to cause yourself extra pressure to meet a short deadline. Do you knit, make “out of this world” fudge, write poetry or do cute crafts? All of these things can be very sweet and special gifts.

Initiate family gift exchanges – talk to family about drawing names for gift giving instead of a gift for everyone or agree on gifts only for people under a certain age. Be creative and communicate.

Make coupons for services– you can make coupons for gifts of services. Some ideas are, making a home cooked meal, shoveling snow, pet or child sitting, raking leaves next fall, painting a room in their home. Be creative and listen to the things they are wanting to get done. You would hate to hurt someone’s feelings by offering to fix something they don’t feel is broken. This isn’t about you telling them what needs to get done but rather doing something for them they have been wanting to get done.

Share the gift of time– talk to friends and family and ask about sharing the gift of time. Get together for a meal, a cup of tea, volunteer to help a local charity together or a visit to a favorite location. Set a date for after the Holidays and both promise to make it a priority. What better gift than the gift of time.

Meditate – the holidays can be stressful with commitments, planning, shopping, and cooking. Meditate to find your center and remain mindful in the midsts of the extra pressure you may feel.

Remember the reason behind this time of year– the holiday season means something a little different to everyone.  So remember what it means to you. Connect with that heartfelt space and take some deep breaths when you feel anxious.

Reach out for help – If the stress of this time of year seems overwhelming or loneliness is breaking your heart, talk to someone. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline number is 1-800-273-8255. If you are missing a loved one, find a support group or person who can hold the space for you and just let you talk. Support groups, AA or other similar programs are a couple of places you can go to find support when it all seems too much. Remember you are loved, even when you don’t feel like it and you are not alone, even when it feels like you are.

Have fun! Find the joy in this time of year. There is a lot of it to be had. Live in the moment and enjoy seeing loved ones you don’t always get to connect with. Notice the good cheer in the air, all the extra seasonal events and the generosity that seems to flow through humanity. Look for the good and you shall surely find it.

Wishing you a most happy and loved filled holiday season. Take a deep breath and enjoy all that this time of year has to offer you!

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you! May your holiday season be joyous and filled with love, as if by magic.

Please Follow the Adventure Sisters

Stacy’s Blog
Emy’s Blog
Adventure Sister’s Facebook Page
Stacy’s Instagram
Emy’s Twitter
Adventure Sister’s Pinterest Board

A Little Something to Reflect On

Before you speak, listen.

Before you write, think.

Before you spend, earn.

Before you invest, investigate.

Before you criticize, wait.

Before you pray, forgive.

Before you quit, try.

Before you retire, save.

Before you die, give.

       ~William Arthur Ward

I saw some version of this quote in a high school class room tonight. In a world where so much is available instantly, there are a lot of radical ideas in this quote. How many of these things do we just go through the motions of and do not even consider?

Before you speak, listen. This first line of the quote is so very profound. How often are we so busy telling everyone all the wonderful stuff that we know or have seen, that we never take the time to listen to what they have to share with us. Speaking without listening hinders learning. The people around us are full of interesting tidbits to share but if we are so busy talking and not listening, how can we learn from them?

Before you write, think. In a world where what we write, can be seen by others instantly, this is even more important. This goes for notes, emails, posts, and texts. So often, in the heat of a moment, we can hit the button and send words out into the world that we never really wanted there.

Before you spend, earn. Today credit cards are a way of life. They are a trap that I have fallen into over and over again. Living within your means is an important step to overall wellness. If you don’t have the cash, don’t do it. Taking a good hard look at “our” finances has taught us a lot about how to have a better overall financial health.

Before you criticize, wait. Judging someone is easy but not always accurate. Waiting will give the ‘other’ time to reveal themselves to you. You may learn the rest of the story which may change your viewpoint. That thing, that seemed worthy of you criticism, may turn out to have been a heroic and selfless act. It’s amazing what a little bit of time and distance from an event can teach us.

Before you quit, try. I can’t even count how many times people have said they are not going to try something because it won’t work out them anyway. They are assuming an outcome and quitting before they even get started.

Before you die, give. What does this one mean to you? What is the legacy you leave the world? How can you give? It may not be money or things that you are giving. It may be sharing information. Giving the gift of your time. So many wonderful organizations really need volunteers. Did you know hospices are required to have a certain percentage of volunteer hours? Children’s sports teams, pet rescues, shelters, community initiatives, and so many other groups would not be able to do the good work they do with out the gift of loving people’s time.

I felt like the words in this quote have so much to say to us as autumn turns to winter. Winter is a perfect time to reflect, learn, and grow. How can you better embrace these principles in your life? How can reflecting on these lines help you be the best version of yourself?

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you! May your mark on the world send ripples of hope to every corner, as if by magic.

Please Follow the Adventure Sisters

Stacy’s Blog
Emy’s Blog
Adventure Sister’s Facebook Page
Stacy’s Instagram 
Emy’s Twitter
Adventure Sister’s Pinterest Board

The Power of Feeling Heard

Have you ever felt frustrated because you were trying to express yourself and no one would listen? Maybe it was something close to your heart and you just didn’t feel safe to share it. Have you experienced trying to share something and the other person just wants to tell you what you should do and give you advice that makes you feel invalidated. It can be so frustrating when you do not feel heard. There is truly a power, in those times, when someone really listens and you can fully let your soul express itself.

When I read tarot cards publicly, I have often found that the most powerful part of the whole process is not anything to do with the cards. It has to do with the person on the other side of the table feeling heard. I have had people break into tears because they were able to tell me something they had never shared with another person. I have seen the stress melt away from the person’s face and their shoulders relax as I truly listened to what they had to say. As I heard them, and did not judge them, they felt safe and validated. It is truly a gift you can give to another person.

I was with an amazing group of dynamic woman the other day. They were all sharing how, in their various ways, they shared healing with the world. It did not matter what their careers were. Over and over again I witnessed them expressing they same thing. They listened to people. They let them be who they were and kindly heard what that other was trying to express. Just think, you have that power too! You can bear witness to what your friend, client, family member, or stranger at the grocery store is telling you. When you are open to truly hearing people, you will be amazed what they will share. I have had people working the drive-through window open up and spill their guts to me.

Another friend shared a video on FB. It was about grief. It expressed that, people who are going through a loss, do not want your advise or for you to tell them everything is going to be okay. They need you to witness their pain and be there for them. Let them cry and express themselves and know that, not only do you not have to fix it for them, you can’t fix it for them. Just hear them, accept them, be there with a shoulder to cry on and a ear to listen to them.

So how often in life do you really truly feel heard? It is a magical thing when it happens. We are often so distracted and busy multitasking that we do not give people the time and attention they deserve. If you are not feeling like you are getting what you need, there are a couple things you can do.

  1. Find  a group – it could be a group of friends, a support group, or a spiritual group. ‘Meet Up’ is full of groups for various types of activities and interests.
  2. That really close friend – if you have a friend you can really talk to (not everyone does) tell them what you need. That you just really need them to listen to you and not fix it for you. That you just want to be heard.
  3. Seek out a professional – maybe this is a counselor or a therapist, but it could be a great hair stylist, massage therapist, life couch, psychic, or medical professional. You know the professionals you work with and you know what area you need to be heard in. These people are use to listening and you are paying them for their time. They may be just who you need to talk to. Perhaps it is time to pay one of these people a visit.

Whether you are the person who needs to be heard or the one who needs to do the hearing, there is a wonderful gift to be had in such a simple act. We all sit on both sides of this table from time to time. Be aware of those you interact with. It may be you who are able to share this powerful gift with them. Perhaps, by you modeling how to truly hold the space for someone to share their inner most thoughts, you will also be teaching them to do that for others in the future.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you! May you always feel heard, as if by magic.

Please Follow the Adventure Sisters

Stacy’s Blog
Emy’s Blog
Adventure Sister’s Facebook Page
Stacy’s Instagram
Emy’s Twitter
Adventure Sister’s Pinterest Board

Common Ground, Can We Find It?

As I was scanning through Facebook this morning, I saw several people who felt the need to voice their opinion, on other people’s posts. Have you ever felt so angry or strongly disagreed with something a friend posted on FB, that you just had to reply? I bet we all have. But have you ever replied with a snarky comment in response to someone else’s post? This is what I witnessed this morning and have many times before. Someone feels so strongly, that they not only need to respond, but respond with a fairly negative comment. I have been told these people are called trolls.

I do not believe this is a healthy practice. First of all, many people rallied to support the person this “troll” was attacking. They were not kind to the “troll” thus becoming trolls themselves. (I do not like name calling and I think calling these people trolls probably hurts real troll’s feelings. They don’t want that kind of reputation- even if they did try to eat the 3 Billy Goats Gruff… it’s the circle of life after all!) I think expressing our opinions can be a positive thing, when it is done in the spirit of working to understand one another and find a middle ground. Then it is a beautiful and mature way to deal with our differences in opinions.

I really believe we need to allow others to have their own opinions. In this human experience, we are all having, we are all in the place we are perfectly meant to be. No one is better than someone else. From a spiritual stance there are probably some flaws in all of our opinions. Instead of trying to berate or change the opinions of others, what would happen if we just accepted others “as is”? Imagine if we all looked for our similarities, worked together, and just agreed to disagree on certain issues. I believe there is a way. Through loving our fellow voyagers in this human journey, we can work together. We do it all the time in our ordinary lives. I have co-workers who have a whole array of various opinions and beliefs. Some align with mine and some do not. Yet we still all manage to work together and are a wonderful team that, not only supports each other, but is very productive as well. My parents each have beliefs and opinions that are different than mine but I still love them like crazy and respect for them as they are.

I believe it is important that we allow others to have their own opinions and beliefs as a practice in love and acceptance. I also believe that doing so will bring us more peace. We can’t change others and when we are constantly trying to, it messes with our sense of peace and security. I am not suggesting we tolerate comments that are hurtful to ourselves or others. I only want to suggest we deal with them in such a way that we do not also become hurtful to others as well. Accept that this person is in a different place on their journey than you are. Kindly provide them with education if you can. Perhaps right now, some issues are so big, we can’t get to a middle ground. On the smaller issues, keep trying. On the bigger ones; try by looking for the good, the Divine, the Human behind the opinion.

Yes, I understand this is my usual happy Pollyanna attitude about life, but if we don’t start changing our approach to others, we’ll never get beyond the superficial. I feel we are so much more than our beliefs and opinions. I encourage you to let others have their opinions and look for the common ground. It is there! Sometimes it just takes more digging to find it in others. When you do I bet you find we have more in common than what makes us different.

Thank you for reading my blog today! May you have a life of feeling loved and accepted, as if by magic! I love you!

Please Follow the Adventure Sisters

Stacy’s Blog

Emy’s Blog

Adventure Sister’s Facebook Page

Stacy’s Instagram

Emy’s Twitter

Adventure Sister’s Pinterest Board

Emy For House Twitter

Emy For House Facebook Page

In Their Shoes

I recent listened to a group of family members discussing what it is like to work in customer service. As a nurse I also have been in jobs where pleasing people is a part of the role. I have seen people be extremely rude and even verbally abusive to people working in stores, all in an attempt to get their way. I am ashamed to admit, when I was younger, I also had occasion where I lost my patience with people just trying to do their jobs. What can we do and how can we think to help us have empathy for those who cross our paths in the course of a day?

Think about how different the world would be if we all followed the Golden Rule. Treating others the way we would like to be treated could help transform some of these frustrating interactions to be better. The Golden Rule is in some version in almost all major world religions. If we could see ourselves in that person, we would act the way we would want others to treat us, if we were working that job.

Nisargadatta Maharai said, “ The consciousness in you and the consciousness in me, apparently two, really one, seek unity and that is love”. We are better able to give love and acceptance, when we see that we are that other person. Can you put yourself in their shoes? Can you feel empathy for what it must be like to be in that place and having to deal with that situation?

Today I challenge you as you walk through your day to imagine yourself in the shoes of those you cross paths with. I would be curious to hear how this changed your perspective on the world around you. Did this make any impact on how you dealt with people or situations? No matter which side of the counter you are on, there is room to try and see the other person’s persecutive. Eckhart Tolle said, “If you are not in the state of either acceptance, enjoyment, or enthusiasm, look closely and you will find that you are creating suffering for yourself and others”. Try seeing yourself as the other person in a way to gain acceptance.

Thank you for reading my blog today! May your day be filled with love and acceptance.

Please Follow the Adventure Sisters:

Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

https://stacycrep.com

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

The Adventure Sisters on Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/BWCAdventureSisters

Stacy Crep on Instagram

@stacycrep

What Would I Tell You?

The post below is from a journal entry many years ago when I was dating. I was frustrated with a relationship I was in and was trying to figure out how to improve it. I was learning that my blunt direct approach does not work with everyone. I wrote a letter to him. Telling him everything I was afraid or unable to say to him. I never sent the letter and the relationship did not last much longer. I think the letter explains how so many people feel within relationships. That is why I have chosen to share it here today. I would love to hear your comments and feedback. What does this bring up for you? Have you had similar experiences in relationships? What has worked in dealing with situations like this in your past? 

What would I tell you…if I could tell you anything?

That I want you to want me. I need to feel desired by you. I need to know you see/notice the specialness that I know is within me.
I want you to give me affection. I am affectionate by nature so I currently find myself holding back from touching and kissing you as much as I would like. I do not want to have to ask you for affection. It makes me feel needy. I find neediness in myself unattractive. I can remember being in relationships where I was touched too much and I have no desire to make you feel that way. I have also been in a relationship where I was not touched enough. I have no intention of living like that again. I realize you can’t read my mind and have no way of knowing how much touch I want or need, without me telling you. I also realize the same is true in reverse; that I have no way of knowing how much touch you want or need, unless we find a way to communicate that to each other.
I am not perfect but hey… who is? No one. We are all flawed. I guess that is part of this whole dating thing. To see if I can live with your flaws and if you can live with mine. I do not want to campaign for reasons why you should want to be with me. I am a great catch. If you do not see that or appreciate that within me, who am I to convince you?
I need depth from you in our communications. Not all the time… sometimes just silly nonsense is perfect… you know I love to play.
I also need conversation where you share memories, what you think about various things and how you feel about different topics. I will wither and die in a relationship that does not contain some level of depth.
I have in the past, tried to use sex to try to form a connection. I need passion in my relationship to feel alive. More than this, I need connection and I feel connection is formed by touch and sharing.
I see such goodness and beauty in you. Somehow this causes you to take points away from me. How confusing is that? If I was still questioning whether you were worth my time, would that somehow make me more attractive?
In many ways I am the girl next door. I am scared of things that go bump in the night. I want my parents to be proud of me. I want my children to be productive members of society. I want to help my grandchild see the beauty and magic in the world. I want them to be better people because I made a difference in their lives. I want to contribute to society through my donations, work and deeds. I want to leave the places I have been, a little bit brighter then when I came. I want to live my life and allow others to do the same. I love my friends and family. I do not want anyone or anything to hurt them, nor, do I want to hurt anyone else. I work hard and have climbed my way out of poverty, poor decisions and failed marriages to become very successful in my career field. I am nowhere close to done in my growth. My life is a magical ride. If you choose to climb on board and come along, you will enjoy that magical ride too. The sky is the limit for me and my life has a way of allowing magic to happen.
I love my family but they do not define me, nor does my career or marital status. I am not desperately seeking a man to take care of me. I am more then capable of taking care of myself. I am looking for the right man to care for me, to connect with me, and to share my life with. Are you this person? Time will tell.
I am a continual work in progress. I attempt to sit back and watch how I react to things. This has taken years of working on myself. I am not perfect at it. At times, I still react to things without thinking about why I am reacting. The goal is to notice when I am getting “triggered” and exploring why I am feeling whatever I am feeling. Often it will relate back to baggage from the past and really not have much to do with the current situation. It has been interesting when opportunities to explore these things come up, I continues to help me grow and heal. I will probably never be completely healed or done growing. I am still human and will still react to things with out exploring what is underneath it from time to time. Nobody’s perfect, right? At times I may still get into the drama of the moment, but please know, I am seriously trying not to.
I do not want to create drama within our relationship. I believe we still have things to learn from each other and adventures to have together. I believe to have a successful relationship, autopilot will not work. We will both need to learn how to communicate what we are feeling and what we are needing within the relationship. We need to feel safe sharing those things that are at our core. We will both need to be vulnerable with each other… something neither of us is completely comfortable with.
All of this is what I would tell you… if I could tell you anything.