depression – Page 2

In our series so far we have learned about keeping healthy boundaries, taking time for ourselves, and healthy self talk. Today lets dive into accepting our emotions. A lot of time we tell ourselves we should or shouldn’t feel a certain way. This causes excess stress and we judge ourselves to be “wrong” about our feelings.

Yes, we want to have positive emotions and keep our vibrations high. We are all human, however. No one is happy all of the time. Things happen to us and we “feel” things and in different ways. It is part of the grand experience of being human. When life is throwing a lot of stuff and responsibilities onto our plate we feel stressed, exasperated, worn out, maybe even depressed. However you are feeling, it’s not wrong. It is important that we do not wallow in low energy feelings without making an effort to change the vibration and energy, but that is not what we are talking about today. Today we are talking about when “those” emotions show up, that we accept them for what they are. We do not make them or us “wrong” for having them.

There are going to be times in your life when you feel angry. Life and circumstances happen that can cause us to feel frustrated; like that time your tire went flat and you were late. When people make choices that you do not agree with and you feel outrage. If someone betrays you or criticizes you, it is natural for you to have an negative emotional response to that. Accept how you are feeling. Do not make yourself feel further negative emotions by judging yourself by what comes up. Find a healthy way to cope with the emotion. Some examples are; going for a walk, creating some artwork, cleaning (this is what I do when I am mad), listening to music, or talk to a friend.

Sorrow is another natural emotion that we are going to experience in life. It is important that we honor this feeling when it comes up. The death of a pet or a loved one, a loss of any kind, disappointment, all of these things can cause us to feel sad. It is natural that we feel that way from time to time. Do not beat yourself up. It is okay. It is normal.

Be kind to yourself and accept yourself as you are. This does not mean we do not continue to try to improve ourself. The need for improvement does not indicate a reason to judge ourself lacking now, it’s just a higher goal to aim for.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I wish you a lifetime of high vibrational emotions and acceptance of any lower vibrational emotions you happen to have. Accept yourself “as is” friends.

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I like to listen to music while I work. It helps me concentrate. Your Side of the Bed by Little Big Town was playing. In that song they ask “Are you sleeping with your own regrets?” It got me thinking about regrets. I have always tried to live a regret free existence. I have always felt that we do the best we can in the time and place we are in. Even with this philosophy, there have been a couple things in my life that I have struggled with. Sharing these regrets makes me very nervous. They are things I do not talk about. What is interesting to me as I reflect on this is that I don’t mind sharing with strangers but I am very nervous to have people who know me aware of them. I guess I fear being judged.
One of those things was related to my first husband’s daughter. She ended up in foster care. I, for a long time, regretted that I didn’t try and get custody of her. At that time in my life, I had two children that I was raising as a single mother. I felt I was not in a place to be able to take on another child. After this girl became an adult, I was able to make contact with her. I told her I was sorry that I did not fight to get custody of her. She was very gracious and said that she was just fine and that she has gone on to get a degree in social services. Perhaps her childhood was related to her calling in life. Perhaps that is why the Universe conspired for me to feel I could not take on raising her. Maybe her upbringing turned out to be better for her than anything I could have provided her with.
Do you believe in soul contracts? The idea that we come into this life with set experiences we are meant to have. When I first heard about the idea, I was not so sure about it. Now I find it is a good fit for my belief system. It makes sense to me. If I had saved her from foster care would I have cheated her out of one of her soul contracts? Or would I have cheated myself out of the experience of regret and trying to make amends? Do soul contracts mean we do not try to help others? I do not think so. Helping others could likely be one of our soul contracts. Do you think regret serves a purpose? Does the avoidance of regret help us make better choices?
Another time in my life, I regretted, was when I was a teenager. I was depressed and was going to commit suicide. One of my friends realized what I intended to do. She told the counselor who drove out to my house. The close call made me re-evaluate the importance of life and I have never been suicidal since. My friend saved my life and I am eternally grateful for the action she took. My regret is in the action I took after the counselor was alerted. I lied. I told the counselor, my mother, everyone, that my friend was wrong. It made her look foolish. We were never friends again after that day. I lost my best friend as a result of that lie. I have since contacted her and expressed my gratitude, as well as, apologized for lying. She forgave me.
I recently wrote a blog called Beneficial Forgiveness. Dealing with these regrets is a perfect place to practice forgiving yourself. Remind yourself that you did do the best you could, in the time and place you were in then.
How have regrets shaped your life? Do you have regrets? Are there some you can’t seem to move past? How can you work on forgiving yourself for these things?

Tag: depression

Self Care: a series – part 4

What Do You Regret?