It was a Struggle

This morning’s run was a struggle. When the alarm went off, signaling it was time to get up and get started on my mornings healthy habits, I did not want to get out of bed. The alarm was snoozed and snoozed again. Eventually my commitment pulled me out of bed and downstairs to my meditation space. My mind was restless and I had to continually pull myself back to focusing on my breathing. I found myself peaking at the timer before I hit the 20 minute mark. Still I persisted and continued to sit quietly for the whole 20 minutes.

Next it was time for my run. It was 31 degrees out. The ice has melted off the driveway, so an outdoor run was called for. I began my warm up walk on the frozen gravel road. The air was crisp and calm. I could feel the resistance in my muscles even on the warm up walk. I pushed on, being my usual Stacy Sunshine, believing it was going to get better. Once the running began, it was still difficult. My muscles felt tight. I was short of breath. The hill seemed way more steeper than most mornings. I walked more than I ran.

I continued to push on. Convinced I could “positive think” myself out of the struggle. The full moon was setting over the hill in the distance. It was beautiful to behold. There was a pink tint to it in the early morning lavender sky. It felt inspiring to see it so large in the sky. It did not make the run any easier though. I completed my run, although I did not stick to the C25K algorithm completely. Although my time was the same as my run 2 days before, my distance was slightly shorter. Even though I got out there and did it, it still felt like a failure.

Why are some days like this? My day yesterday was stressful and full of intense emotions. I am recovering from a mild case of COVID, so perhaps that played in. The food choices I made yesterday were not as exemplary as I would have liked. When I weighed this morning, my weight was up slightly, causing me some disappointment. Was it any one of these things? Was it the combo deal of all of them? Should I blame it on the full moon?

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter why today was a tough day to take care of me. What does matter is that I got out there and took care of me. I continued my commitment to myself. I may repeat this run tomorrow, in order to be true to the walk/run ratios called for in the C25K program. If I don’t, know one would know or care, but I would be letting myself down. Commitment to ones self is of the highest importance.

Not everyday is going to be perfect. Not everyday is going to feel like a huge flaming ball of success. In fact, I believe, it is these days that are struggles, that we gain the most from. It is on these days that we remind ourself, we can push through. We can do what once seemed impossible. It is on these days that we grow! Keep those commitments to yourself. It is worth it. Push beyond the story in you head that says, “go back to bed”. In the end, you will be glad you did. I am very glad that I still meditated and ran today. Even though my experience was one of difficulty, I checked the boxes and got it done. Tomorrow is another day.

Thank you for reading my blog today. May you find the gumption within yourself to push through even when it feels difficult.

Twin Flame Relationships

Have you ever heard of the idea of a Twin Flame? Many people romanticize this concept but there really is more ‘pain’ than ‘romance’ in most Twin flame experiences. It is a very different experience from meeting your soulmate.

Twin Flames; is the concept that your soul is split in two to go into this earthly plane to have very different experiences. From my understanding; Twin Flames are typically opposites in almost every way. (Opposite sex, passions, personality, demeanor, spirituality, politics, etc.) Although many people may meet their Twin Flame, very few of these relationships are successful. The differences are just too great. It brings to mind the song from the Disney Movie, Little Mermaid; “Poor Unfortunate Souls.” When this relationship is successful, it is likely a very old soul that has worked through many experiences in countless lifetimes.

Recently, I have seen several articles about relationships between Empaths and Narcissists. It struck me that the Narcissist is the anti-empath. They cannot empathize with others. Perhaps these are actually Twin Flame relationships. Twin Flames feel like Karmic relationships. Have you ever had a friend who is drawn to someone so opposite and bad for them, that it just doesn’t make any sense, but you can’t talk them into staying away? This very well maybe a Twin Flame. Despite all the pain, they go back again and again. They can even verbalize how bad the other is for them, but like a moth to the flame, they can’t stay away.

Because Twin Flames are a split of one soul, there is a feeling of completeness and of home that comes when the two are together. It makes it that much harder for them to breakaway from each other to live a healthier more balanced life.

Relationships are one of the biggest teachers we experience in this life, especially romantic ones. Nothing will put your “stuff” in your face, like a romantic relationship. Having a romantic relationship with a Twin Flame can feel predestine and still be the most painful thing you experience. There can be lots to learn and much growth, but it will likely take just as much healing, personal work, and self discovery to recover after the relationship.

So what are your thoughts? Do you agree with me that the Narcissists and the Empaths are drawn together because they are Twin Flames? Have you had a relationship with your Twin Flame? What was your experience like?

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you! May your life be filled with happy and healthy relationships, as if by magic.

*The featured photo on this blog was taken on The Little Mermaid Ride in Disney’s Magic Kingdom, Orlando FL.

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