7 Important Traits of Friends

I feel I am blessed to have so many good friends. Interestingly, I have never been someone who sets out to make friends but somehow I’ve have always been blessed with the most amazing friends. My friends live in many different places and it is a blessing when life brings us to the same places at the same time. Time together is such a gift and as I have grown, I have learned some things about being a friend.

  1. Accept your friends for who they are. They are perfectly them, just as you are perfectly you. If you try to change them you will only feel frustrated and they may feel hurt. Accept them whole for just who they are, warts and all. It is what is inside that really matters. This concept is called unconditional love.
  2. Time together is the greatest thing you can give a friend. There is no need for extravagant gifts. Nothing could be better than spending time and sharing experiences. Last weekend Emy and I shared our retreat. I have another friend who introduced Marty and I to Kirtans and we often attend them together.
  3. Be fair. Equal exchange of energy is very important in life and even more so in relationships. I am blessed to have friends who are very generous with me. It is important that those kindnesses are repaid in some way but not necessarily tit for tat. Marty and I have a friend who lets us do laundry at her home and another who stores our vehicle, when we’re in Florida. Marty and I help with projects around their homes, as we can. There are many similar examples of how we can support each other by assisting with what each other needs, without having to feel a responsibility too. Just lend a hand when the opportunity arrises.
  4. Listen and really let your friend feel heard. One of the greatest gifts we can give another human being is to really listen to what they have to say and hear their stories. When I read tarot cards, it is one of the most important parts of the reading. Hearing what the other has to say and sharing ideas, is such a great way to connect as well. You just never know what may grow out of this exchange.
  5. Be honest with your friends and allow them to be honest with you. If a friend shares a deep dark secret with you, don’t judge them, just accept them for who they are. Hold a space for both of you to speak your truth. Sometimes we can feel pushed into something with friends. We get swept up in the excitement and before we know it we are carried away into something they want to do. Trust your friends to love you, even if what you want to do is not what they want to do.
  6. Encourage your friends. No matter how crazy the ideas may sound to us, having a friend who cheers us on, is a beautiful thing. Often family gets wrapped up in the fear, but a friend can really help us manifest our dreams so we can live our best life.  It is such a blessing to have a friend encouraging you to live the life of your dreams.
  7. Do not take them for granted. I appreciate my friends so much. I always share with them that I appreciate them and their time. I tell my friends I love them because we all need to hear it. I hug my friends. When our hearts meet in an embrace it is such a beautiful moment of warmth and connection.

What traits do you find important in friends? How do you bring your best foot forward in friendships? What traits are important to you when you are looking for friendship from others? We do not travel this life alone. Others join us, some for a large part of our life and other times for a shorter period of time. The length of our friendships does not lessen the impact they may have on us or us on them.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you. May all of your friendships be meaningful, as if by magic.

*Photo was taken in Rome, Italy

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Daily Meditation – Week 4 check in

If you have not already joined our 90 day meditation adventure, I hope you will still do so. Here is how the last week went for me.

Experiences during the week: I am still on the road with co-workers. This always complicates my ability to make time for myself. I love my co-workers. They are amazing, smart, and experienced people. I enjoy their company and have fun spending the evenings chatting with them. This has complicated my life, however. I know they would be supportive if I told them I needed to sneak away to blog or meditate, but I enjoy them, so I make the choice to stay.

What I have learned: I have learned that making the choice to not make time for myself causes it not to happen. Not only did I miss meditating certain days over the last week, I also missed writing the week 3 check in. I let myself down and also let you down. This is a wonderful illustration of why it is important to make time for ourselves. This morning, while I meditated, my monkey mind tried to tell me all the other things I needed to get done. I decided mantra was the best way to quiet that monkey mind. I started with “I am thin and beautiful. My fit body supports my active life.”That mantra felt good. I then switched to “I release what does not serve me and keep only what I need”. With this I was able to have a profound experience. I saw a volcano all orange and red. It made me realize that the process of releasing, what no longer serves us, creates change. Although change may be scary at the time it is happening, it does serve a purpose and things will be okay in the end.

My weight: I am still on the road and have no mechanism to measure if my weight has changed. I do not sense a change in how my clothing is fitting me.

How I feel: After my meditation this morning I feel grounded and more connected. I feel that my senses are more tuned in. I hear the birds chirping and cooing. There are so many different bird songs making a morning symphony. I smell the Arizona air and the occasional scent of someone smoking weed on their balcony. I feel the dry heat of the dessert building despite the early hour of the day. I see the filtered sunlight sneaking through the leaves on the tree in front of my balcony. The taste of my black tea washes through me, helping me be fully present in this beautiful day.

How it is affecting my life: It is challenging me to be better. Teaching me that “If at first you don’t succeed, try try again” was a very profound quote by William Edward Hickerson. So despite a shaky couple of weeks, I am still committed to the 90 days meditation challenge. If you have tried and struggled, please don’t give up. It is never too late to start again.

Thank you for reading my blog today! I wish you a lifetime of trying again when the first pass does not provide the desired outcome. I wish you a lifetime of goals met and feeling good about yourself. I love you.

Previous meditation blogs by the Adventure Sisters: Join Us on This AdventureMeditate the weight away?9 ways to improve meditation, Meditation contemplations, There’s an App for That: A review of meditation Apps7 Common Meditation Myths11 Types of Meditation 

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6 Ways To Help Others Improve Their Wellness

Wellness is important for all of us. We are responsible for our own wellness but we can also support those around us with their journey to be better. Here are some ideas on ways you can help your loved ones work toward optimal wellness.

  1. Tell them positive things about themselves. Many of us struggle with low self esteem and even if we don’t, compliments always feel good. When giving praise, remember that specifics matter. Instead of saying “nice job cleaning the house” try “the stove just sparkles, you did such a great job cleaning the house”.
  2. Encouragement! We all have moments when we do not feel we are doing our best or despite our best efforts, things do not work out the way we would have liked. Having a friend or loved on tell you that you are doing good can sometime make all the difference between feeling discouraged or finding the gumption to keep going.
  3. Don’t enable. Enabling always seems to happen with the best intentions. You feel tired and don’t want to go to the health club, then your well meaning friend tells you it’s okay to take the night off. It gives you the excuse you needed to not go. Think about that family member who always tells you one cookie won’t hurt your diet. If your loved one is working towards a goal, help them keep moving toward that direction. Sometime when their strength is weak, they need you to be strong.
  4. Don’t be the drill sergeant either. A little encouragement can go a long way but ultimately we all get to make our own choices and if we decide that this is not going to be the week we give up caffeine, having a friend try and tell us what to do, will likely not be helpful. Most of us do not like to be bossed around. Going back to the idea of encouragement; let them make their own choices and just be there with reasons and encouragement why they can be successful making healthy choices.
  5. Tell children only good things about themselves. Did you see the movie The Help? In that movies she tells the children, “You is kind, you is smart, you is important”. She said she learned she could help children have good self esteem by telling them that. Bruce Lipton says that research has shown that children, prior to age 7, are in a form of hypnotic trace when it comes to their self esteem. Everything you tell them, they take in like it is the truth. So only tell them the good things about themselves. Remember it is okay to dislike a behavior while you still love and approve of the child.
  6. Smile! When you smile, others feel like smiling too. Nothing can help you feel so good as smiling faces. spread joy!

Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful. ~Thich Nat Hanh

Thank you for reading my blog today. I wish you a lifetime full of wellness for yourself and those who make you smile.

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