Breathing Through Resistance: A Meditation Journey

My friend and I created the School of Illumination, beginning with a six-month foundation to prepare participants for deep shadow work. The advanced training, Shadow Song: A Journey Into Illumination, invites students to dig deep, study themselves, and confront the shadow.

As we guide participants through the next 12 months, I’ve decided to journey alongside them. I’m choosing to put myself first, engage fully in the coursework, and once again face my own shadow. It’s important to me to become the best version of myself I can be.

The work includes daily meditation, journal prompts, and homework activities between our monthly classes. Our first journal prompt this month focused on resistance. As I reflected, I noticed something: I’ve been resisting sitting still to meditate each day.

Throughout my life, I’ve had a steady meditation practice — sometimes even twice a day — yet I feel resistance to simply being still and quiet. I teach walking meditation, and the Kundalini yoga I love combines chanting and movement with meditation, but even these practices have fallen away lately. Hmm… what is this about?

As I prepared to meditate today, I caught myself wanting to blow my nose, clean my ears, brush my hair. Was I distracting myself with little tasks to avoid the stillness, or were these small acts part of settling into my body before I got quiet?

While journaling about this resistance, I asked my wise higher self for guidance. I was reminded of a tool we shared with our students: box breath. This simple pattern — inhale for a count of five, hold for five, exhale for five, hold out for five, then repeat — can help calm the mind and body. I decided to use box breathing as I meditated today. It worked.

At first, I kept my attention occupied by counting, breathing, and holding. As my meditation deepened, I lengthened the counts to ten, drawing my breath more fully into my body. A calm, slow rhythm emerged.

Eventually, I stopped counting. My breath continued in the same pattern, but my awareness opened to the world around me: the rustling of leaves, a distant dog barking, birds chirping, the steady song of insects. The wind moved through the trees like the breathing of the earth. Occasionally, wind chimes sang, and I felt part of it all.

I’m grateful I worked through my resistance and allowed myself this moment of connection. I’m grateful for the peace I felt afterward, and for showing up for myself despite hesitation. Will this completely dissolve my resistance? I don’t know — but I’ve found a tool to help me meet it with curiosity and move forward.

Embracing Change: The Call to Growth

There are times in our lives when we feel something calling. We see the signs that there is a bigger potential waiting for us. We can hear opportunity or maybe even fate, knocking at our door. And despite the amazing potentials that these times offer us, we carry on as if nothing spectacular is happening. We carry on with blinders and ear plugs muffling the brilliance that is there for us. What might our life look like if we boldly opened the door at these times? How might everything change?

Change in and of itself can be scary and uncomfortable. As people we like the comfort of that status quo, even when that is not great. Lisa Nichols said, “There is no growth without discomfort”. These words are so true. It is not the times in our lives when we sit comfortably in our chair watching or reading the type of thing we have always read when we have experienced growth. It is the time when life knocks us on our ass. That is when we had no choice but to stand up and say, “I want something different”. I do not want to carry on with the same old same old. I am not going to be a passenger in my life any longer.

I find myself at such a crossroads. I hear the call of the future. It is telling me nothing is ever going to be the same. I am too young to retire, but too old to continue to climb the career ladders. My responsibilities have shifted. Having adult children and grandchildren has a certain freedom to it. I am blessed with a husband who walks boldly and protectively by my side. I am allowed, at this time in my life, to be more “me”, than I have ever been before. I get to explore, play, and live in a way that helps me to discover what has been laying dormant, nestled at the base of my spine, waiting to rise up like the kundalini energy. The time has come for me to not only notice the call of something but to boldly fling open the door and welcome the coming changes.

Coon Dee What Eee Yoga? ~ A short description of Kundalini Yoga

Have you heard of Kundalini Yoga? It is very different from other yoga you may have tried. I recommend that you give it a shot even if you think you don’t like yoga. I stumbled upon it many years ago and took my first class in the teacher’s backyard with one other student. I was hooked immediately. I have since continued to practice it off and on and even became a certified teacher. I love it that much!

Kundalini Yoga started in the 60’s when a Guru named Yogi Bhajan saw the kids using psychedelics. He started teaching, this yoga, that could give them the same experiences without the danger and bad effects of drugs. There is still a striving Kundalini Yoga community of really remarkable people. There is even research studies done on the positive and healing effects of Kundalini Yoga.

Things are different when you step into a Kundalini yoga class. First off, the teacher will likely be dressed in all white and have their head covered in some way. We dress in all white to expand our radiance. I always feel radiant in my Kundalini whites and I love wearing them. The head cover is to protect us from all the energies. There is no need for students to wear white or cover their head but, of course, you can if you so choose.

The class has six main parts

1. Tuning In – This is a chant that connects us into the Kundalini ancestry. It is short and you are welcome to just listen if you are not comfortable with it at first.

2. Warm up – This gets your blood and muscles moving.

3. The Kryia – This is the yoga set. Kundalini yoga is often a lot of movement during the Kryia. Each Kryia is unique in how many exercises and how long they last. Some are done completely while sitting. Each one is different and for different reasons. They are all purposeful!

4. Relaxation – During this part you lay on your back. Often a gong is used and the sound of creation washes over you while you lay peacefully. I love the gong. It is a powerful part of the class. Sometime the relaxation maybe done without the gong.

5. Mediation – Each mediation is different. Some are quiet and some are chanting. Some are still while others include movement. All are powerful. I have had entire children’s books download into my consciousness while in Kundalini Meditation.

6. The Long Time Sunshine Song – is sung. It is either sung 2-3 times through. It is short but powerful. I especially enjoy doing it three times through; with the first time being to yourself, the second sent to someone you love and the third sent out to the world.

Now that you know the basis of what to expect in a Kundalini class, I hope that you will give it a try. The purpose is to move the Kundalini energy up your spine and connect you to your source or God. It is not a religion but a spiritual practice. When I do it I feel calmer, more centered and inspired. It helps me be the best version of myself.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I wish for you a lifetime of finding your own centering practice that helps you feel your best today and always. I love you!

Speak from the Heart

Have you heard of the Chakras? How you can use these ancient energy centers to help your message, be not only heard but also felt? This simple technique can help you send the purest intentions to those you are communicating with.

The Chakras are energy centers within the body. There are 7 of them. They start at the base of the spine and move to the top of the head. Some traditions even teach of an 8th center above the head. They are all represented by different colors. The colors of a couple of them vary, a little, depending on the tradition in which you learned of them. I first learned about the Chakras when I was trained in Reiki Energy Healing. So, starting at the base of the spine, I will list the Chakras for you. At the bottom of the spine is the Base Chakra. It is represented by the color red and is related to safety and security. In the lower abdomen is the Sacral Chakra, which is represented by the color orange. It affects passion, creativity, and sexuality. Next we have the Solar Plexus Chakra. Yellow is its color and it has to do with self-esteem and personal power. As we move up to mid-chest we have the Heart Chakra. It is green and rules the emotions. In the neck is the Throat Chakra. It has to do with your voice and making yourself heard. It is blue. Between the eyebrows is the third eye or Brow Chakra. It is purple. (in my Reiki tradition but Indigo in other traditions) It has to do with interpreting information and intuition. At the top of the head is the Crown. It can be represented by clear or by the color purple. It has to do with your spiritual connection.

Now that you know a little about the Chakras; I feel I should be encouraging you to speak from the Throat? It is true that our Throat Chakra helps us be heard and it is an important part of the equation. If you speak from the Heart your words will be stronger, more meaningful, and spoken with the purest of intent. It is easy to see how this might make sense in a speech about an emotional topic, like children, or healthcare. But there may be a topic that just doesn’t seem like it has room for emotions. Let’s say you are giving a speech on accounting. This may seem to be a very cut and dry type of speech, about numbers and procedures. There doesn’t seem to be room for emotions in this speech. If you speak from the Heart, however, your truest intentions will come through. Those hearing your speech will also feel your intention to help them or call them into action.

So how do you speak from the Heart? I feel visualization is a powerful tool to use. Picture the words coming down through your Throat and projecting out of your Chest, right through the green revolving energy center there. See your words entering the audience in the same place. A Heart to Heart connection. Feel the warmth of your words spreading throughout their being with the best intentions to help them. Practice it and watch the difference in how people respond to you when they not only hear your words but also feel your words.

Speaking from the Heart can be a powerful tool to help you make you message known and get your intentions communicated. Using this simple visualization, you could find that you are more easily able to affect not only those around you but also the world.

May your life be full of communication, that is not only heard, but also (having those good intentions) felt. Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you!

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