What Would I Tell You?

The post below is from a journal entry many years ago when I was dating. I was frustrated with a relationship I was in and was trying to figure out how to improve it. I was learning that my blunt direct approach does not work with everyone. I wrote a letter to him. Telling him everything I was afraid or unable to say to him. I never sent the letter and the relationship did not last much longer. I think the letter explains how so many people feel within relationships. That is why I have chosen to share it here today. I would love to hear your comments and feedback. What does this bring up for you? Have you had similar experiences in relationships? What has worked in dealing with situations like this in your past?

What would I tell you…if I could tell you anything?

That I want you to want me. I need to feel desired by you. I need to know you see/notice the specialness that I know is within me.
I want you to give me affection. I am affectionate by nature so I currently find myself holding back from touching and kissing you as much as I would like. I do not want to have to ask you for affection. It makes me feel needy. I find neediness in myself unattractive. I can remember being in relationships where I was touched too much and I have no desire to make you feel that way. I have also been in a relationship where I was not touched enough. I have no intention of living like that again. I realize you can’t read my mind and have no way of knowing how much touch I want or need, without me telling you. I also realize the same is true in reverse; that I have no way of knowing how much touch you want or need, unless we find a way to communicate that to each other.
I am not perfect but hey… who is? No one. We are all flawed. I guess that is part of this whole dating thing. To see if I can live with your flaws and if you can live with mine. I do not want to campaign for reasons why you should want to be with me. I am a great catch. If you do not see that or appreciate that within me, who am I to convince you?
I need depth from you in our communications. Not all the time… sometimes just silly nonsense is perfect… you know I love to play.
I also need conversation where you share memories, what you think about various things and how you feel about different topics. I will wither and die in a relationship that does not contain some level of depth.
I have in the past, tried to use sex to try to form a connection. I need passion in my relationship to feel alive. More than this, I need connection and I feel connection is formed by touch and sharing.
I see such goodness and beauty in you. Somehow this causes you to take points away from me. How confusing is that? If I was still questioning whether you were worth my time, would that somehow make me more attractive?
In many ways I am the girl next door. I am scared of things that go bump in the night. I want my parents to be proud of me. I want my children to be productive members of society. I want to help my grandchild see the beauty and magic in the world. I want them to be better people because I made a difference in their lives. I want to contribute to society through my donations, work and deeds. I want to leave the places I have been, a little bit brighter then when I came. I want to live my life and allow others to do the same. I love my friends and family. I do not want anyone or anything to hurt them, nor, do I want to hurt anyone else. I work hard and have climbed my way out of poverty, poor decisions and failed marriages to become very successful in my career field. I am nowhere close to done in my growth. My life is a magical ride. If you choose to climb on board and come along, you will enjoy that magical ride too. The sky is the limit for me and my life has a way of allowing magic to happen.
I love my family but they do not define me, nor does my career or marital status. I am not desperately seeking a man to take care of me. I am more then capable of taking care of myself. I am looking for the right man to care for me, to connect with me, and to share my life with. Are you this person? Time will tell.
I am a continual work in progress. I attempt to sit back and watch how I react to things. This has taken years of working on myself. I am not perfect at it. At times, I still react to things without thinking about why I am reacting. The goal is to notice when I am getting “triggered” and exploring why I am feeling whatever I am feeling. Often it will relate back to baggage from the past and really not have much to do with the current situation. It has been interesting when opportunities to explore these things come up, I continues to help me grow and heal. I will probably never be completely healed or done growing. I am still human and will still react to things with out exploring what is underneath it from time to time. Nobody’s perfect, right? At times I may still get into the drama of the moment, but please know, I am seriously trying not to.
I do not want to create drama within our relationship. I believe we still have things to learn from each other and adventures to have together. I believe to have a successful relationship, autopilot will not work. We will both need to learn how to communicate what we are feeling and what we are needing within the relationship. We need to feel safe sharing those things that are at our core. We will both need to be vulnerable with each other… something neither of us is completely comfortable with.
All of this is what I would tell you… if I could tell you anything.

The Story of the Stone Buffalo

Emy and my adventures are mostly based in the BWCA (Boundary Water Canoe Area) but there was an earlier adventure. It also started with a Groupon, curiously. It was a kayak trip down the Mississippi. This was not a daunting journey that took days and multiple supplies. This was a leisurely paddle with the current for a few hours.
It was a beautiful sunny day. We were excited to get out and do something new together. I had done some canoeing and kayaking but this was our first joint voyage. We paddled along, enjoying the scenery and each others company. We talked about the environment and even sent some healing energy to the Mississippi. We wanted to help combat some of the pollution we feared was there. There was a little island in the middle of the river at one point. Feeling free and quite adventurous we decided to stop and explore. It was a small bit of land covered with trees. There was a little dirt path through the forest. Hiking on the path was a great way to stretch our legs after a couple hours in the kayaks. We came across a picnic table. We walked past it not thinking much about it. Emy wondered further into the woods but I felt drawn to the picnic table. On the table there was a small stone bison. I felt intuitively that the fairies had left it there for me. I excitedly told Emy about it and showed it to her.
When I got home I looked up the spiritual meaning of bison. I believe that when we notice animals (especially animals we don’t typically see) they come with a message for us. It is a way Spirit talks to us. When I look up the messages animal totems have for me, I trust my gut to guide me to the reason the animal showed up. Nothing about the stone bison really seemed like a strong message for me at the time. I kept it in a special place; I had a sense that it was a powerful gift.
Tonight as Emy and I were messaging back and forth about steps we are taking to get our books published, my phone autocorrected “vision” to “bison”. I was immediately reminded of the stone bison from all those years ago. I looked it up again to see what meaning or message it had for us now. The following list of words came up acquainted with the bison.

Abundance Blessing Community Consistency Goals
Gratitude Manifestation Prayer Prosperity Provision
Sacrifice Service Stability Strength Surrender

Since this evening had been focused on our efforts to get our books published, I feel that the message of the stone bison was about steps we could take to move our books forward. I find it so interesting that this gift was given to me so many years before the idea of the book or even the concept of the Adventure Sisters was born. Life is magical, if you trust it.
Do you have any similar stories? What magic have you noticed in your life?

Please Follow the Adventure Sisters:

Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister
https://stacycrep.com
Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister
https://emyminzel.com
The Adventure Sisters on Facebook
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The Adventure Sisters on Instagram
@adventuresistersbwca

How I Became an Adventure Sister!

Hello, I am Stacy Crep, Adventure Sister! You may be asking yourself what is an adventure sister? You may be curious to find out how I became an Adventure Sister. You may want to know what kind of adventures I have gone on. I will tell you all of this as well as my Adventure sister goals.

It all started with a Groupon! I saw a Groupon for a 3 day canoe trip. It sounded so fun. I just couldn’t pass it up! And who doesn’t love a sale! I bought 2 and contacted my friend Emy to go with me. At the time I had no idea what the Boundary Water Canoe Area was. BWCA, is that a funky dance from the 70s? I really didn’t understand what I had gotten us into. People warned us that we would get carried off by mosquitos and eaten by bears. As we started doing research we discovered that there is this thing called portaging. It is the crazy concept that when you get to land you pick up your canoe and carry it, on top of your shoulders, by yourself, until you get to water again. Not to mention all your gear.

That first year we learned so much! 2 ordinary woman out there in the wilderness at a campsite that consisted of lots of trees, a cooking grate, and a pit toilet. It didn’t even have walls. We chopped wood and learned to build a fire in the rain. We caught and cleaned our own fish, never had I ever done that before, but we wanted to eat. Washing dishes in the forest became second nature. We persevered after we tipped our canoe and had a lovely time. When we were packing up and leaving the last day, the only day that was warm and sunny, by the way, we decided to leave note for the next campers about the beautiful campsite and the fun we had had there. We left a couple tea bags and the note in a plastic bag tied to some extra fire wood we had chopped. We signed it Adventure Sisters.

We have continued to go back to the boundary waters year after year. We have survived lighting storms. We have climbed and navigated difficult portages. We have never mastered packing lite. We have managed to stay a float in rough water. One time it was so rough that when I went to paddle my paddle did not make contact with the water because it was between the massive waves. Once we endured camping in the forest when we couldn’t make it to a campsite. We didn’t even have a pit toilet that year… just a shovel.

This year we went to Orlando and had a different kind of adventure which included a swarm of fireman and 2 sheriff deputies. But that story is for another time.

These continued adventure have built our confidence and have helped us learn about ourselves. By pushing ourselves in these physical and many times emotional ways we have grown so much personally. We want to share this with others and inspire them to live the life of their dreams. We have decided to write a book to share our experiences with others. The idea of a book has grown into not just one book, but three. Lessons Through Joy, Lessons Through Forgiveness, and Lessons Through Magic.

An impulsive purchase changed my life and from it the adventure sisters were born. We were not carried off by mosquitoes nor were we eaten by bears. We had struggles, we learned a lot, we saw amazing aspects of nature (to include a swimming moose), but most of all we learned who we are and who we want to be. I am Stacy Crep, Adventure Sister. We are already planning our next adventure! Want to come with?

Stacy Crep ~ Adventure Sister

https://stacycrep.com

Emy Minzel ~ Adventure Sister

https://emyminzel.com

Follow the Adventure Sisters on Facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/BWCAdventureSisters

5 of My Favorite Places

I simply love to travel. My blessed life and amazing job has given me the opportunity to travel quite a bit. I have loved every trip and every new destination. There are, however, some that are my favorites. These are places I would like to go back to again and again. My husband and I were planning some new trips and this caused me to reflect on some of my favorite places.
1. The Pacific Northwest. I am enchanted with this part of the country. Its volcanic mountains and giant tree filled mossy forests make for stunning scenery. The area is a rain forest and so magical. You can imagine fairies and gnomes peaking at you from amongst the branches. The Portland Saturday Market is full of interesting and talented artisans. Breitenbush Hot Springs Retreat and Conference Center provides a unique experience in the mountains and the opportunity to go within while there.
2. Ireland. This is another magical place. Here the gnomes are replaced by leprechauns. The people of Ireland are amazing. I felt so welcome while I was there. The Burren Perfumery has beautiful gardens where you are free to wander. They grow their own plants to make the perfume. The small windy roads of the Irish countryside pass by castle ruins with sheep grazing on the grounds. It was in Ireland that I saw my first real waterfall after a long delightful hike.
3. Florence Italy. It is stunning to be walking down the street and all of a sudden there are sculptures you saw in your art history text books. The history and the art is breathtaking. While there, we were able to see Michelangelo’s David. Words cannot describe how I felt when I saw this masterpiece. The food was also quite good. Affordable authentic Italian food was plentiful and we did not have one bad meal.
4. BWCA (Boundary Water Canoe Area). If you follow my blog you have heard of this before. Untamed wilderness, very few people, and the serene beauty of the area make this a yearly destination. I have a passion for the forest and when that forest involves camping, overlooking a quiet lake and paddling tranquil water ways, it makes for an even better experience. Sitting around the campfire at night listening to the wolves howl in the distance is a harmonious lullaby.
5. Cocoa Beach Florida. There is nothing quite like laying on the beach in the sun and listening to the waves lap the shore. It can be very meditative. I learned quickly to respect the sun’s powerful energy. Drinking lots of fluids and seek shade so as not to get burned. I lived in Florida for 10 years and it still feels like home to me. I enjoy the heat and humidity. It feels like being wrapped in a warm blanket to me. Traveling more inland the vegetation changes. When I see the Spanish Moss on the old Live Oaks it gives me a whimsical feeling.
There are so many places I loved visiting. To many trips to share all of them here today. I just wanted to share a few of my favorites with you. Perhaps they will inspire you to plan a trip in the New Year. Get out of your comfort zone and go someplace new. My bucket list is bursting at the seams with yet to be taken trips. New favorites await!
What are some of your favorite places? Why do they make the top of your list?

New Years Manifestations

A few years ago I started a new practice. After many years of making a new years resolution to loose weight, start a savings account, exercise regularly, I decided it was time for a change. I instead started to write New Years manifestation list.
You may be wondering how this is different. It is not just a new name for the same old tired idea. A new perspective and new way to go about improving your life in the new year is offered through this practice. Listing the goals for the year rather than making a list of things you must do. Instead of exercise regularly as a resolution, your manifestation may be to fit and healthy. Our thoughts create our world. By focusing on positive things we want to bring into our life we allow the process of how it will happen to take care of itself.
Let me give you an example. Last year when I made my manifestation list for 2017 I put on it 3 fabulous trips. This year My husband and I went to London and Amsterdam. We got to see Stonehenge, visit relatives, and see my grandfathers homeland. We also took our son and a granddaughter to see the Grand Canyon. Additionally my husband and I went to Oregon where we made some new friends and were able to hike and see many waterfalls. As a bonus my Adventure Sister, Emy and I got to go to Orlando for a writers workshop and some playtime as well. Many of the items on my 2017 list have to do with renovations the house and hopes and prayers for family. They almost all came fully into being. A couple of them have started to unfold but are not yet finished. Nothing on the list was completely without progress.
A other advantage to manifestation list over resolutions is the sky is the limit and you can have as many items as you want on your list. I had 21 items on my manifestation list for 2017. If I had made 21 resolutions I would have quickly felt overwhelmed. With this process you can write it out and release it with blessing. You do not have to think about it until the end of the year when you get to look back and see how many items have come into being.
If you decide to adopt this process it is important you write things in the positive. So instead of paying of debt say have an abundance of money, OR to be 100% in the black. Instead of saying loose weight, say be thin and fit. That way the intention is clear and you are not attracting any more of what you do not want.
So as we prepare to go into 2018, I wish you a year of health, happiness, and success. May all of your wished be granted. By the time 2019 comes to call may we all be living the life of our dreams.
What do you think of this process? Have you done this before and have success stories to share? What is the first thing you are going to put on your New Years Manifestation list?

5 Tips to Turn Travels Dreams into Reality

Todays blog is written by my Adventure Sister, Emy Minzel.

Travel magic is something I have been blessed with, yet in recent years I have forgotten to use it. All I do lately, is change traffic lights, clear traffic jams or score good parking spots. Handy but… so boring! I love the outdoors, the sunshine in my eyes, new experiences, and making new friends. I am a water baby and adrenaline junky in disguise as a Massage Therapist and stay at home dog mom. My alter ego is an Adventure Sister. I love and miss her something terrible when she’s stagnant.

I have a gypsy soul that gets restless, if kept in captivity, I start to feel extreme anxiety. I pace like a caged cat kept inside for too long or clean obsessively, creating my own form of OCD. Why have I let this happen? Well, life needed me here at home. I have a business to build and maintain, pets to care for, and family to tend too but that isn’t reason enough to stop adventuring is it? No, not for me.

I vow to start making my travel magic work for me and here is how I will do it.

Have a destination in mind: Intention is everything! Give the destination a good amount of your attention and energy. If you are going to Denver Colorado, go on-line to research places to see, places to eat, and things to do in Denver. Then make a travel itinerary or plan, to let the Universe know you are serious. Talk about it. I love to talk about where I want to go and what I want to do while I am there and with whom I would like to do it with. Stating my intentions to the Universe.

Take the invitation! I live in Minnesota. It’s a very beautiful and picturesque state. Yet I would love to go visit my Aunt or Grandparents down in Florida, if I had the chance. Many people have loved ones in different parts of the world, so if you do, just go! You save a bundle if you don’t have to pay to stay at a hotel and you have a free tour guide.

Travel companions are a great for boosting travel magic. Do you have specific people you want to visit or favorite friends to travel with? If so, this is an energetic asset. Others who want to adventure with you will boost travel intentions you are sending out to the Universe, doubling the magic vibes.

Literally, save your pennies. Keep a jar for spare change or several of them around the house to collect for the specific reason of travel. Try your very hardest to only use it for taking a well-deserved journey. Hide it in the safe if you need to! Yet don’t feel bad if life comes knocking on the door, it happens, start over and make it happen. You deserve it and you are worth it.

Give yourself permission. Many people feel like something else is always more important to spend their money on. This is not true. Give yourself permission to spend your money and time on what makes you happy. Putting your needs and wants on the list of priorities is good for your soul and self-worth. Remember all work and no play makes us crazy. Give yourself permission to have fun!

Stop rationalizing and talking yourselves down from the ventures our souls truly crave… You just never know how life changing your trips may be if you don’t go. I hear your soul whispering, excitedly craving adventure. Where are you being pulled to?

~ Emy Minzel, Adventure Sister