Self-Sabotage?

Over and over again in life, I will be plugging away at some goal or some dream, when it suddenly falls all apart. It feels like a failure. It is frustrating to see all that hard work end up being for nothing, or so it seems. How anytime in our lives can we look back and see this same pattern? We have almost touched the finish line, after striving for so long and so hard, then we trip and never get across it. In reflection on my own history I can’t help but wonder if some of these instances were self-sabotage. Were there feelings of not being “good enough” or “worthy” that cause excuses to come up and block progress. Let’s look at some examples and dig a little deeper into this idea.

Weight loss: How many times have I been making great progress losing weight. I am working out, eating right, and the pounds are coming off. Then all of a sudden I completely binge on something and all bets are off. The diet is out the window and I am putting the weight back on. If I was successful for so long, why am I all of a sudden no longer capable? I have heard the idea that people may keep extra weight on as a type of protection. Could I be using weight as a way to feel safe? Could I be using it to hide from whom I am meant to be?

Running: I have thought, over the years, of running a half marathon in each of the 50 states. I have had goals of running a full marathon. I successfully trained and finished 3 half marathons. My time was not fast, but I was only in it, to do it. The joy of running and participating in a road race is amazing. It is fun and invigorating. I have done multiple 5Ks and a few 10Ks and even a 10 miler, over the years. I love doing them. The last half marathon and 5K I did were in 2015. I had been running for several years at that point but I hurt my knee and that was it. I believed that I couldn’t do it any more. I would feel the urge, year after year. Usually the autumn would call me to the running trails (as that was the start of the running season when I lived in Florida). It didn’t work so well for me to get back to running in the North country. I would use the Snow, the cold, my knee pain, my busy schedule, and every other excuse not to run anymore. Even at one point saying I was too old and that part of my life was over. Now, 7 years later, I am signed up to do a 5K the end of April. My training is going well. There is nothing in my body that “can’t” do it. The only thing that has been holding me back is my head.

These examples are both related to the physical body and fitness, but this could hold true to all kinds of goals. Career, gardening, education, meditation, spiritual or religious aspirations, home renovations could all be affected by our own self-sabotage. Any goal we set for ourselves, could be subconsciously derailed by our “protective” mechanisms. Somewhere deep inside we believe that we should not achieve that goal because we are not worthy, not capable, not enough, don’t have the right skills or attributes. I remember once when I was a child I over heard my grandmother and my mother talking. We were all in the garden picking weeds and my mother said to my grandmother, “Stacy is a strong starter, but she doesn’t finish things”. On some level my child brain took that in as a “truth” and held on to it. For the next 3 decades (or so), I held on to the belief that I started things but never finished them. I was reading the book Worthy by Nancy Levin and there is an exercise she has you do in the book that helped me became aware that I had this belief about myself. My own self-sabotage was helping to keep this belief true while sacrificing my goals. I did not realized this on a conscious level, at the time it was happening.

If you reflect on the goals you have fallen short of, do you see any hints that what stood in your way was actually you? It is much easier and more comfortable to blame it on exterior factors. I didn’t have time to do the training. My stress was too high to focus on committing to that goal. I am not the kind of person that achieves those results. The truth is we are capable. We can do it. We are the type of people who achieve those results. I watched a documentary the other night about an overweight young adult who grew up on a hog farm, who became vegan and ran an ultra marathon. That is 100 miles in 30 hours. Human beings are capable of amazing things! The documentary is Once is Enough. It is on Prime Video, if you are interested in checking it out. He didn’t fit in the box of what an Ultra Marathoner looked like but He didn’t let that stop him.

When road blocks pop up to prevent me from taking care of myself, I plan to reflect on what is really going on. Am I blocking my progress? Is this self-sabotage? Do I have a belief about myself that is not in alignment with what I am about to accomplish? Being aware is the first step to overcoming.

We can do this! We are the people who will cross the finish line! We are the type of people who do amazing things! We will push on despite being busy, stressed, overloaded, insecure, and/or being completely in over our heads in unmapped territory. Don’t let anyone tell you you can’t do the thing or be the person, because you can. Don’t let anyone else set your course for you. It is not too late. You are amazing! You are capable. I am proud of you. Believe in yourself. And in those quiet moments when you hear the whispers of the subconscious, holding you back, tell it that you can and will cross the finish line!

Thank you for reading my blog. May you accomplish what you set out after, because you are the type of person who lives the life of their dreams. Believe!

Why I blog

It has been quite a while since I blogged regularly. I stopped blogging after my youngest daughter was shot in a random act of violence. She has recovered from her physical injuries. She is strong and working through the emotional injuries related to this incident. I am proud of how she has overcome this experience. As her mother it knocked me for a loop. Now it has been almost 3 years. I am focusing on taking care of me. Fighting my demons instead of running from them is helping me grow and heal in a deeper way than I ever have before. When you talk about fight or flight, I have always been a runner. I am working to acknowledge my pain, my history, rather than trying to bury it or numb it. As I set off on this journey I feel inspired to start blogging again. I want to share what I am learning with others who may find it beneficial. I feel the more we share with one another the better we can all be.

I plan to write about self care and wellness topics. I have worked in Healthcare all of my career. The majority of my time has been in and working with Hospice. Because of the emotional state of hospice work self-care is essential. We all have stresses, drains, and demands on us that make self-care very challenging. Achieving true wellness is not a destination. It is a journey. It is a journey that I hope to travel with you. We can learn from one another as we travel towards personal wellness. By achieving personal wellness we will help to heal the planet. Each of us raising the vibration of those around us simply by letting our light shine and taking care of ourselves.

I hope that my blog speaks to you. I hope that you will feel safe commenting and sharing your stories and experiences. I wish for this to be a supportive and loving environment where we can acknowledge our successes and pick each other up when we need support or a shoulder to cry on. None of us have all the answers. We all have our own experiences and those are powerful! I hope this blog speaks to those of you who are interested in being the best version of you. I hope this blog speaks to those who feel lost and need some directions. I hope this blog speaks to those who have been diminished or feel beaten down by life. I hope this blog speaks to those of you who have or are in relationships that have minimized how spectacular you are. Let’s remember we are worthy. We are enough. We are special in our own unique quirky ways.

My intention is for this blog to create a community of people who are working on personal wellness, not for anyone other than themselves. I believe this blog will share tools, techniques, and insights to help you find your specialness and learn to let is shine through all the crappy days. I hope this blog will help you create more magic and blessings in your life. I wish for you to have a life where you feel special, worthy, happy, and have mind, body, and spirit wellness that is a little better today than it was yesterday.

Thank you for reading my blog today.

Hope For the Future

Today, I had an amazing opportunity. I got to go and talk with a bunch of high school kids about Reiki energy healing and the Chakra system. I was so impressed that high schools are starting to teach alternative healing classes. What a gift for these amazing young people to get a taste that there are other options out there other than just a pill to help you when you are not feeling well.

The 22 students I met with were warm and engaging. They asked great questions and participated with all of the activities we tried. They were open but questioning. I really appreciated that they did not just take it as fact but rather asked smart questions. They thought about the principles that were being taught and then, very respectfully challenged, what was being told to them. I also appreciated their wise teacher who allowed the topic to adapt in order to address their questions. How I wish I could have spent more time with them.

When I first started my holistic healing practice people didn’t really “get it”. They really didn’t understand about our body’s innate ability to heal itself. They couldn’t understand how I might have been able to help them. They flocked to the massage therapists, but they just couldn’t really picture what I would do for them. When I think about it, why would they. most people back then had not experienced holistic healing. They couldn’t understand how armed with a gong, a deck of tarot cards, and a fist full of certifications, I could truly help them out. But I could see it.  I could see how I would be able to do an assessment, find the underlying emotion or cause of their health concern and work on that, instead of masking it with medications.

If I would have had more time with this dynamic group, of soon to be adults, I would have loved to teach them so many more things. I would have taught them about the underlying issues (often emotional) that sit just beneath the surface, causing other things to pop up in our health. I would have taught them about the gift of forgiveness and how it can free you more than the person you are forgiving. I would have taught them that they are enough; that we all have special gifts and talents. Which are usually not the same. I would have taught them some simple energy healing techniques. I could go on and on there is so much they could learn. In the future I hope to be invited to do other events like this with teens. These bright young people are our future and they give me so much hope.

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Divine Wisdom

I’ve been lucky enough to get to spend a fair amount of time, this weekend, watching and listening to lessons of the Hay House World Summit. It is a free event with many inspirational and instructive lessons to help you be the best version of you, you care to be. I must say, the summit really has me thinking.  A couple of their sessions I have attended this morning spoke of the power of our thoughts. Those of you who are regular readers, of my blog, know that I believe in the power of thought and am always looking to find ways to better connect and utilize that power, to make the world a better place. Louis Hay, the founder of Hay House, was a big believer in, and promoter of, the minds influence over our health. 

Several years ago I started a Holistic Healing Practice. I named my business Divine Wisdom. I believed that everyone has, within themselves, the Divine Wisdom to heal their bodies and their lives. It was kind of a radical idea for a hospice nurse. I was trained in multiple different modalities, not because I thought I was the healer who could mend the illnesses in the bodies of my clients, but rather because I felt I could use these modalities to help my clients awaken their personnel power to improve their own lives and health. The two are tied together; since true wellness includes the mind, body, and spirit. I don’t know if the world was not ready for my view of healing or if I just didn’t, at that time, possess the skills to promote my business. But after two years it was time to try an new adventure and way to help others.

I feel there is a shift coming. People are tired of the side effects of medications. Many of which are often worse than the initial illness. More and more, I meet people who refuse to let a diagnosis define them. We are, after all, not defined by the things that happen to use but rather instructed by these experiences. I see that the world around me is shifting away from the artificial in products and looking for healthier alternatives. I am hopeful that true change, in the way we deal with disease and illness, is coming and here to stay. 

I had a very dear friend who was anxiously awaiting the “shift”. I believe she felt it was going to be an event. A sudden shifting that all would recognize. She passed away a few years ago and I wonder if she ever came to the realization the the shift is happening, everyday all around us. It is an energetic wave that moves across the land, awakening people as it weaves back and forth, like Kundalini energy up the spine. There are times (like now) when I feel her presence with me. She urges me on. Encourages me to continue to spread the light and share the Divine Wisdom as it comes to me. I am grateful for all that I have learned from her. I am also grateful for her continued presence from the other side of the vail. 

How will health and healing manifest in your life? Do you believe and feel the true power of your nature to heal yourself? I am not saying to stop taking medications prescribed by your doctor. I am encouraging you to start to believe in the Divine Wisdom within your nature to improve your life. If you have not already begun, start looking into teachings from others with this similar thought. Trust your intuition to lead you to the teachers who can help you unlock this ability within yourself. Feel for that connection with the shifting consciousness of the planet and believe in magic. 

Thank you for reading my blog today. I wish you a lifetime of Divine Wisdom. 

 

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Recommitting To Me!

Lately, I have been feeling drawn to run. I have in the past had a love/hate relationship with running. I hate to do it but love to be able to do it. But let’s face it, if you have ever been a runner, it gets under your skin. When you aren’t going on runs, you can feel it trying to spur you on. You can hear the trail, ever so gently calling; “come run with me”.  I have been hearing the trail calling for months now and ignoring it. There are other ways I am being called to improve my health as well. I keep hearing my inner voice tell me to improve the quality of what I put in my body. So, I decided, now is the time. It is the time to recommit to me. 

I stopped running a few years ago when I hurt my knee training for a half marathon. I had procrastinated starting my training and then pushed very hard to get the speed and stamina I needed to finish in the required time. Once I knew I had injured my knee, I switched to biking and other ways to keep up my fitness, while resting my complaining joint. The weekend before the half marathon, I did a nice and easy 5K with a friend. All felt fine. It was during that next 1/2 marathon, at about mile 5 of 13, that the pain returned.  I did finish the 1/2 marathon (although not in the required time). Even though I was hurting, I made one more poor decision that ended my running, I ran a 5K again the next weekend. I tried to ignore what my body was telling me and pushed on and that was it. I have since attempted to get back into running a few times but my conditioning is just not what it once was. That and I can think of a million reasons why not to go for a run. It’s too cold, I am too busy or I don’t have the right shoes all work well. 

I have heard the call of my body. It is saying, “Stacy, take care of me”. It is pleading with me to stop drinking the diet soda I guzzle by the cases (even though I believe it is poison). My body is kindly requesting that I not drink wine. Not only by my physical form but also my spirit is screaming at me to get back out on the trail. Hiking, running, walking, climbing; it does not matter, just get out in the fresh air and go. Move your body! Get out of the basement and stop binge watch TV shows. The spirit that flows through me says there is more to life than that. I know this and it feels that now is the time to honor my life and  physical being. 

Now don’t get me wrong. I do take pretty good care of myself. I eat a vegetarian diet, limit my intake of processed sugar and fried foods. I look for natural or holistic treatments when possible. I seek balance, although this is one of the areas I need further work on. I am not good at resting. But I feel making these three changes will enhance my life and respect this meat suit that I have to wear for this lifetime. 

I was receiving healing at Heaven On Earth Healing. The practitioner used NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) to work with me. She had me visualize myself running. It was an interesting process and I had some profound “ah-ha” moments during it. Today I went for my first run in a few years. Last night I skipped my nightcap. Today I am drinking tea and not my usual soda. I am ready to recommit to myself. I am ready to treat my body with the same respect I give my mind and soul. 

I am not perfect, nor do I want to be. Where is the fun in that? I do want to be better. After all, isn’t that what this journey is about, doing better today than we did yesterday. Slowly making progress forward. So I recommitted to me. I answered the call of the pavement. I ran a very slow 2 miles but I am very proud of myself for doing it. 

Thank you for reading my blog today. I wish you a lifetime of a healthy and happy choices that seem easy to make. Recommit to yourself my friends. I love you. 

*The photo is my daughter and I at our first 1/2 marathon which we did together.

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9 Way to Improve Back Pain

Many people suffer from back pain. For some it is a chronic condition; for others, it is an occasional occurrence after a strenuous day or twisting the wrong way. It can be debilitating and western medicine does not always have the answers. There are many holistic options to treat back pain that are surely worth a shot as an alternative to narcotics, living with pain, or considering surgery. Here are some of my favorites. 

  1. Frankincense essential oil – I love this essential oil for so many things. Rubbing it on the bottom of your feet can provide miraculous relief from chronic back pain. 
  2. Ice – When I first started having back pain I always went to heat. Ice seemed intolerable. Once I tried ice, I knew I would never go back to heat. The problem with heat is that it increases blood flow into and out of the area. This can cause the inflammation in the area to become worse. Ice decreases swelling. It has made such a difference for me. At the first indication of any back pain I am reaching for the ice pack. Just remember not longer than 20 minutes.
  3. Yoga – The stretching and various poses Yoga has to offer can be great for back pain. There are Yoga kriyas or sets that are specifically formulated for back health. They help get the spinal cord moving, can help compress excess fluid out of the disks, and stretch bunched up muscles. Plus the meditative aspects of Yoga can help to provide over all calming, which can relax those tight muscle in the back. 
  4. Massage – Knots and tight muscles can cause a lot of discomfort in the back and the skills of a massage therapist can really work them out and help provide relief from the pain. 
  5. Acupuncture– If you have never tried this, I highly suggest it! I find it so relaxing. I know that sounds crazy but it provides a sense of calm I do not get from other modalities. The needles help increase circulation and chi to the areas of pain. I am not an acupuncturist but I am sure someone with the qualification could explain this better than I can. I know it works for my back pain. 
  6. Chiropractic – There are many different times of chiropractors out there. If you chose to seek this treatment, do your homework and ask questions. One type of Chiropractor may not be right for you while another may be very beneficial. Some Chiropractors use a tool called an “activator” while others uses their bodies to adjust yours and still others have tables that help to make the adjustments. There are also Chiropractors who work more energetically and with your breath. 
  7. Mantras – Louis L Hay felt that our thoughts and beliefs about ourselves cause the illness in our body. In her book, Heal Your Body A-Z, she has mantras for upper, middle, or lower back pain. This is another thing I have done to find my bodies own ability to heal itself. It is something you can try that won’t break the bank and puts the trust in your own body to heal itself. “I trust in the process of life. All I need is taken care of. I am safe.” is her mantra for lower back pain. For other types of back pain, check out her book. 
  8. Strengthen your core – There are lots of ways to do this. Crunches is one that we hear about a lot but there are many resources or personnel trainers out there who could help you with this. A stronger core means there are more muscle to help your back hold you up. 
  9. Turmeric– It helps reduce inflammation.  When I was doing my Kundalini Yoga Teacher Training it was strenuous, with back to back days of full day yoga instruction. One blessed yogi would bring us golden milk to help our sore bodies. Golden milk is almond milk, Turmeric, and Honey. The anti-inflammatory properties of the turmeric helped us get through the growing we were doing physically, while our mind and spirits continued to be enhanced but the yoga. 

I hope you are able to give some of these a try. I hope that they are beneficial to you. If you have other tips for people suffering from back pain please share. 

Thank you for reading my blog today. I wish you a day filled with flexibility and ease.

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11 Tips for Creating a Powerful Vision Board

Vision boards can be a powerful tool to help you focus on the things you want to bring into your life. I first heard of the practice when the book, The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, was on the New York Time Best Seller list. I have since created many vision boards and have had amazing results. Here are some tips to help your vision boarding be magical.

  1. What do you want? ~ New car, travel, happiness. It might be all three or it might be you want the new car because it will allow you to travel, which you think will bring you happiness. Make a list of what it is you really want.
  2. Variety of sources ~ There are several sources you can use to find images to attach to your project. Cut them out of magazines. Print things off the internet. Use photos of yourself. You can even draw images yourself.
  3. Meaningful photos ~ I wanted to loose weight for one of the vision boards I was creating. I used pictures of myself from a time in my life when I was thin. Another time I wanted to have endless energy. I used photos of myself, wearing my bike helmet with my bike.
  4. Words ~ Words have meanings. Using powerful words on your board along with pictures can really help clarify what you are manifesting.
  5. Choose with feeling ~ Choose pictures and words that evoke a feeling in you. Feelings will make your board more powerful.
  6. Creativity ~ The more of yourself you put into your vision the better it will work. Using your creativity connects it to your heart. Draw pictures or decorate words. Add your own flair.
  7. Size matters ~ Don’t pick a really big size if there is no where to keep it up. Don’t use something so small you wont notice it.
  8. Location, location, location ~ Will it live in your office? Hang over your bed so you see it when you wake up? Are you mobile so it has to be carried on your clip board. I wanted a grandfather clock once, because it reminded me of being at my grandparents house. I carried a picture of it on my clipboard until one day it was delivered to my home.
  9. Have fun ~ The more fun you have while creating, the more happy, grateful, feel good emotions that will be attached to your board. When you look at it this is what you want to feel.
  10. Make it an event ~ Invite a friend or two over to create with you. This will again attach happy fun memories and set the intention with positivity.
  11. Believe ~ Just believe in the possibilities. You do not have to believe everything on the board will come true. You just have to believe everything on the board may come to you.

I enjoy the fun creative process of vision boarding. I hope, with these tips, you will find it a great way to improve your life. Do you have other tips? Do you have successes that could inspire others? Please share.

More Than Just Warm Milk – natural treatments for insomnia 

I read once that people used to sleep eight hours at night but not in one sitting. They would go to bed and sleep for about four hours or so and then they would need to get up and stoke the fire. They would get up and write letters and visit in the middle of the night and then go back to bed and sleep the last four hours of the night. I think there is a part of my being that remembers these old ways because to be awake in the middle of the night used to be an every night occurrence. It still happens to me on certain nights. I have a list of a dozen things that are worth a try if sleep seems elusive for you.

  1. Cool room –  I have always noticed that I slept better in a cool room but recently my Chiropractor was informing me that a cool room has been proven to improve sleep.
  2. Hot bath – A nice warm bath before bed will help relax muscles. Water is also very grounding. A warm bath before bed may be just what you need to get some serious Z’s.
  3. Essential oils – I can’t say enough about all the great things essential oils can do for you. Some great ones to help promote sleep are Lavender, Bergamot, and Geranium. I also like Frankincense. It is a great oil for a multitude of things and my personal favorite.
  4. Magnesium – Recently I have been hearing about a connection between Magnesium deficiencies and trouble sleeping. I have personally not tried a magnesium supplement for my insomnia, but I may consider it. If I give it a try I will let you know in a future blog how it works for me. Of course check with your doctor before taking a supplement to see if it is a safe choice for you.
  5. Notebook and pen – Keep a notebook and a pen next to your bed. Is a “to do” list of items keeping you awake? Jot those thoughts on the notebook. Then your brain can trust they will not be forgot and move on to dreaming.
  6. Left nostril – A trick from my Kundalini Yoga training is left nostril breathing. Holding your right nostril shut and just breathing through your left nostril will help to relax you. It will induce feelings of being tired.
  7. Mudras – Mudras are a yoga pose for your hands. One that I find helpful for sleep is to pull your thumb in against the palm of your hand and then wrap your other four fingers down over it. It is like you are making a fist with your thumb on the inside. Holding your hands in this position can help bring about slumber.
  8. Salt Lamps – Salt lamps have recently become very popular. They have all kinds of great healing properties. They are said to help reduce the contamination from all of our electronics. By reducing this contamination they allow us to get better sleep.
  9. Cup of tea – Chamomile, Valerian, and Kava Kava are three herbs that can be found in teas to aide with sleep. There are even teas with Lavender in the blend. A cup of one of these before bed can be a great way to drift off.
  10. White noise – White noise or soft relaxing music can be helpful. I personally like a fan on in the room but there are lots of choices. There are apps that play, white noise, fan noise, nature sounds, etc. I feel the fan helps me saw logs because I can’t hear the other noises the house makes.
  11. Rocks – The little girl in me loves rocks. Crystals that could aid in you finding your relaxed state are Amethyst, Labradorite, Jade, Moonstone, and Celestine.
  12. Meditation – Kundalini Yoga has several meditations that can help promote restful sleep. Any type of meditation can be effective in helping you achieve that Zen state to drift away.

Do you have other tricks that help make you sleep that you would like to share with others? Please share those that are effective for you. Sweet dreams. I hope you get plenty of dream time and rest.