Today is Day 1 of 21!… (again); Twenty-One Plus Helpful Tips

Did you join me on the 21 days without complaining adventure? Are you wondering how I am doing because I am interested in knowing how you are doing? I have made it to day 2 about 3 times. I was a few hours from day 3 when I fell back into my old habits and complained. This is way more challenging than I expected it to be. It leaves me to wonder what steps can I take to get beyond today and how to start a habit to only talk about the bright side of life.

Well, since there are 21 days to get past, let’s come up with 21 tips (or more) to help us move past the old habits of habitually complaining. (This is my fourth blog on this adventure. The links above will take you to the previous blogs). I am currently re-reading Will’s Bowen’s book to refocus my efforts. Below are several ideas to help us all move forward to success. Many of these ideas have come from Will’s book, A Complaint Free World.

  1. Stop making excuses for why complaining is okay or justified.
  2. Look for the positive in all situations.
  3. Embrace silence.
  4. Don’t give up, just change your bracelet and start again.
  5. Have faith – you can do this!
  6. Practice mindfulness.
  7. Pause before speaking.
  8. See the joy in all situations.
  9. Laugh as much as possible.
  10. Read Will Bowen’s book or read it again.
  11. Start the day with a positive thought to set the energy for the day.
  12. Remember why you started on this adventure in the first place.
  13. Forgive yourself if you slip and start again with new resolve.
  14. Think about the four gates of communication from the Sufi tradition. (Is it truthful? Is it necessary? Is now the time for it? Is it Kind?)
  15. Remove yourself from negative situations and people. (when possible)
  16. Find friends and family to support you.
  17. Talk about ideas and concepts instead of other people.
  18. Bear in mind, what you think about you bring about.
  19. Keep in mind, Will’s wise words; “Those who hurt are hurting.”
  20. Look for positive ways to connect with people.
  21. It is healthier to stay positive. Per Will’s book, according to doctors, 67% of illnesses are caused by our thoughts. Per Louis L. Hay; 100% are.
  22. Keep in mind that the things we dislike in others, are often traits we also have.
  23. Realize that complaining does not fix anything.
  24. Complaining about the past only holds you there, so talk about what you want to manifest.
  25. Instead of complaining say, “I am not going to move my bracelet.”

Good luck on your challenge. Please share in the comment section; how you are doing and what things you have found helpful in moving you along on your complaint free adventure.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you. May your thoughts and words be positive, as if by magic!

*Photo taken somewhere over Kentucky, USA

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Stay the Course, Even When Confronted With the Seemingly Negative.

When we start down a new road whether it is a healthy initiative, financial planning, career advancement, a self-help strategy, or a creative project; we are energized by the plan and the hope it brings. Our dreams for success our high on our minds and we are energized by the hope for the future. We dance through the first few days or weeks of our plan and path, happily thinking about the outcome waiting for us on the other end. Then sometimes something happens along this path that seems negative and suddenly all our plans come tumbling down. How can we avoid this pitfall from happening and stay the course?

It’s easy to stay on track when everything is going according to plan. But when the unexpected happens (or maybe even the expected but hoped it wouldn’t happen thing), that is when we falter. It is during these times of trouble that we risk falling from our path, but I am here to cheer you on. Do not just throw in the towel easily! Sometimes those things that seem so negative are really just blessings in disguise. We just have to give them the time they need to reveal to us their hidden blessings. Sometimes they are not a big problem but a little chance to make a misstep. It is in these times that we must stay strong, we must remember why we are doing what we are doing and keep the faith that it will all be worth it in the end. In these times we must remember that we are strong enough to keep going, in spite of the challenge, and that you are stronger than you think you are!

Do not let those seemingly random negative happenstances pull you from your path. Do not let the expected, but undesired circumstances, dissuade you from continuing to put one foot in front of the other. It may not be easy right now, but it will be worth it in the end. Go back and remember why you dreamt the dream in the first place and what is at the end of the finish line. Keep in mind how you will feel once you achieve what you are after and walk your path to the end. You may have to climb over some rockslides, voyage around mud puddles, and even find your way when the path is unclear. But it will be worth it the day you stroll out of that dense wilderness and feel the sun on you face. Success is yours. It will be worth it when others are singing your praises. Stay on your path, even when you find it difficult or discouraging; your dreams will thank you for it.

The last days of your journey to this goal will be every bit (maybe even a little more) exciting as the first days. Stay the course when negative things strike! Keep on keeping on when you feel hopeless. Keep striving! Don’t let negativity pull you from your path. You can do this! You are worth the trouble. I am proud of you and you will be too.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you! May you find it easy to stay the course, as if by magic.

*Photo was taken outside of Golden, CO.

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Introvert vs Extravert; How to Find a Healthy Balance

How do you get your energy? What do you do when your batteries are down and need to be recharged? When your Life has been stressful and you just need some down time, what do you plan? Would it surprise you to know that how you answer these questions will vary depending on your “extravert” verses “introvert” tendencies?

I am an introvert and I know this about myself, that when my batteries need to be recharged, I need time alone. How very “peopley” the world is makes me tired. The idea of going to a crowded place seems exhausting to me. (This is probably made worse by the fact that I am also an Empath, but that is for another blog). My husband, on the other hand, is an extravert. He needs people and social time to get him charged up. Getting together with friends, always sounds like a good idea to him. He is a happy, “the more the merrier” type of guy. He has never met a stranger and authentically loves people.

Because of this I sometimes think introverts get a bad rap. People imagine introverts to be socially awkward, shy, and not very friendly. This is simply not true. Those attributes can belong to introverts or extraverts. Whether you are an introvert or an extravert really has more to do with where we get our energy from. I am a very social person. I enjoy public speaking and have lots of friends. I enjoy doing things with my friends and lead a monthly discussion group/class. However, when I get tired, more time with others will only cause me to feel more worn out. It takes a lot of effort for me when I am being social. It doesn’t mean I don’t need these social event or don’t have fun when I am at them. The opposite is true; I do need and want them. But it’s all about the balance.

If you have friends and family that are the opposite of you, it is always important to respect and understand their needs. If being at the mall around lots of people feeds you and makes you feel energized, understand and respect that for your buddy, it may be different. Just as I have to remember that my husband’s needs are different than mine. I work to help ensure that, in our time together, we strike a healthy balance between being social and spending quiet time alone. I have to remember that my need for quiet time should not stifle his need for social time and visa versa. We both need to be fed energetically just in different ways. So listen to what your friends and loved ones have to say about what and how they need to recharge their batteries.

So the next time you feel like you want to plan a way to reward yourself for a busy week, think if that is a night-in binge watching your favorite show or a night out at the local pub celebrating with a large group of people. Think about your friends and family members and how they seem to recharge. Finally, in your personal relationship, try an strike a healthy balance so that you both are getting what you need.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I wish you a lifetime of finding the perfect ways to recharge, as if by magic.

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My Experience with “36 Questions to Fall in Love”

Have you heard of the 36 questions to fall in love study? Here is the way I remember it. A psychologist, Arthur Aron, proposed that he could cause 2 people to fall in love by asking progressively intimate questions of each other and then have them stare silently into each other’s eyes for 4 minutes. The study was published in the late 90s but became popular during the time when I was online dating. The TV show, The Big Bang Theory, even did an episode about the questions. As the story was told to me, the two people who were used in the initial study actually did fall in love. Since I was looking for true love and intimacy in the online world, I thought I might as well give it a try.

I remember sitting across the table at a restaurant from the man I was currently dating. “Want to play a game?” I asked him. His eyebrow went up and he asked what kind of game? I explained to him about the 36 questions. He was skeptical but agreed to play along. We began taking turns asking each other the questions. We pushed my phone back and forth across the table asking each other questions. Alternating who asked the question first. I have to admit it was a fun way to get to know each other and to deepen the relationship. In the end, he and I dated for about 6 months but did not fall in love. I did do the questions with a couple other of the men I dated.

One of the men I did the questions with became my husband. We did the questions while driving to go on our first camping trip together. Again the questions were a great way to get to know each other. I think the key was that the conversation was going on during the long drive and initiated many side conversations. This time the questions revealed a whole new experience. This time the questions deepened a closeness that was already forming. The questions took us a couple of days to get through because we didn’t rush them and we allowed them to take us down bunny trails and into other conversations. I am sure this was not the intention during the study but we’re not scientists, just two people getting to know each other on a deeper level. When it came time for the 4 minutes of gazing into each others eyes, it was magical. It was almost like a meditative experience.

In the end, did the 36 Questions cause my husband and I to fall in love? No, we already were in love (although we had not expressed this to each other yet) when we asked each other the questions. I believe true love is really about a soul connection. The questions did help us to know each other better. Our relationship was brought to the next level and the questions prompted deep and meaningful conversations over the course of the weekend. It was on that same weekend that we did profess our love to each other. Did the intimacy, spun out of asking the questions, allow for our comfort in saying the words? Maybe.  We just celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I wish you a lifetime of deep and meaningful intimacy.

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90 Days of Daily Meditation -check in -week 2

If you have not already joined our 90 day meditation adventure, I hope you will still do so. Here is how the last week went for me.

Experiences during the week: This week’s meditation has been a struggle for me. I am disappointed in my meditation performance. I allowed my business of life to get in the way of my daily practice and there were even several nights when I laid down at the end of the day just to realize I had not meditated. When I would attempt to do so, while laying there, I would drift off to sleep. Though I did have one very profound meditation during the week. It happened when I meditated first thing in the morning. During my meditation I received a couple of great inspirations. One, was to rename a class I’m offering with a catchier name, occurred to me during the time I quieted my brain.

What I have learned: I have learned I need to schedule a time to start my meditation or I will try to do it at the end of the day when I lay down before I fall asleep.

My weight: I am still on the road and have no mechanism to measure if my weight has changed. I do not sense a change in how my clothing is fitting me.

How I feel: I feel motivated to do better this next week. I feel a need to put myself first again. My travels this week brought me from the eastern time zone to the pacific. Which I will be reversing tomorrow and then back the following week. Because these switches can be a bit challenging I will need the meditation more than ever, to help keep myself calm and centered.

How it is affecting my life: On the days I meditated early in the day, I found the meditation profound and a blessing to start my day. On the days I did it at the end of the day while laying in bed, I found it induced good sleep. I was exceptionally tired this week due to a demanding schedule and travels that took me to or through 9 different states from Thursday to Monday. Even though I had high hopes for more profound meditation experiences, in reflecting, I see that the meditation experiences I had were the ones I needed.

Thank you for reading my blog today! I am proud of you for the things you are doing and/or wanting to do to take care of yourself. Even baby steps count! I wish you a lifetime of meditations that are exactly what you need. Blessings!

Previous meditation blogs by the Adventure Sisters: Join Us on This AdventureMeditate the weight away?9 ways to improve meditation, Meditation contemplations, There’s an App for That: A review of meditation Apps7 Common Meditation Myths11 Types of Meditation 

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7 Common Meditation Myths 

When I was talking about the 90 day meditation to release weight challenge, people mentioned things to me that were just not true about meditation. So I thought maybe I should showcase some of the these myths to help dispel them. What is important to know is meditation is accessible to everyone of every fitness level, from the very young to the very old. Here are some of the myths that I have heard of.

1. You have to sit Criss Cross Apple Sauce! – Many people do meditate in the Lotus position or Easy Pose, but is is not necessary. You can meditate sitting in a chair or on the couch. Even while laying in the bed it is possible to meditate. I met a lovely woman in India who would meditate while she was doing the dishes. 

2. You have to have a lot of free time – Meditation can be done in quick 3 minute intervals. There are longer meditations if you have time for it, but a quick 3 -5 minute meditation while you are in your car waiting to pick up your child or before a job interview, can be very beneficial. Just as people come in all kinds of shapes and sizes, so does meditation. 

3. There is only one “right” way to meditate – There are many different ways and types of meditation. Some include chanting a mantra or phrase while some are silent. There are sitting mediations as well as walking meditations. You can meditate with your eyes open or  closed. Watch for a upcoming blog, I intend to write, highlighting several different types of meditation. 

4. You have to be able to quiet your mind – Our minds are not by nature quiet. Our monkey minds jump all around, from planning what we will eat for our next meal to thinking about what we still need to do at work. What meditation does is help you be more present and learn to bring the mind back when it wonders off. 

5. It is religious – Mediation is not about any particular religion. It is about being in relationship with yourself. 

6. It is something only “hippies” do  – Anyone can meditate. Athletes, celebrities, spiritual leaders, children, and everyday people turn to mediation for stress relief and to improve their life. 

7. It takes years to receive benefit – There are so many different ways to meditate. There is no one right or wrong way. There is better or more improved meditation, which comes with practice but even if you are new to meditation and your mind is very busy, you can still receive benefit from the practice of it. 

You are the perfect person to receive benefit from meditation. Give it a try. Join us on our 90 days of daily meditation. We would be glad have you join us. 

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you. I wish you a lifetime of beneficial meditation to help you get to the next level with your goals. 

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There’s an App for That: A review of meditation Apps.

Since I ask you to join me in 90 days of daily meditation adventure, I though I would provide you with a review of some helpful tools. On my Join Us On This Adventure, I also included a link to my blog, 9 Ways to Improve Meditation.  Today I am offering you my insight on 6 meditation Apps. There are many meditation Apps out there so I randomly selected 6 to try. Below is a brief look at what I learned about each one. 

10% happier: The Facilitator suggests that you sit in a dignified posture. I really liked how that sounded. It gave you the option to choose meditation from 3 minutes to over 25 minutes. It is also very reassuring, that it is normal for the mind to wonder but when you notice it has, bring it back to the breath. This App is free, unless you choose to upgrade to premium which is $14.99/month or $99.99/year. Provides you a daily reminder. 

Headspace: It compared your thoughts to cars in traffic. A very interesting analogy. With this App you can chose 5 or 10 minutes for meditation. There is a little lesson before each meditation. The Facilitator has a loverly accent.  After the introductory 10 sessions, it is $12.99/month or $94.99/year. Provides a daily reminder.

Breathe: This App lets you rate how you are feeling and then gives you a few meditations to choose from. You can choose a woman’s or  man’s voice to guide you through the experience. The one I tried was a “5 senses” meditation, Here they talked you through your 5 senses, one at a time and help you focus in the here and now. This App is free, unless you choose to upgrade to premium which is $9.99/month or 58.99/year. Provides a daily reminder.

Simple Habit: This one allows you to pick a topic for your meditation from a pretty impressive list. I chose weight loss. This App is free for a month and then $7.99/month. It tracks your meditations for you and lets you choose between 5,10, or 20 minute meditations. It connects you with your Facebook friends and can create a community. Provides a daily reminder.  This one was my least favorite because I felt it was too pushy about signing you up for a subscription to the App. 

Insight Timer: This one also has a wide variety of meditations to choose from. There are very short meditations (3 minutes) to longer meditations (1 hour). I chose a 5 minute meditation called Weight Loss and Your Beautiful Body. I was shocked when the Facilitator used a cuss word. Not that it offended me but just because it surprised me. Even with that it was still a very positive and uplifting meditation. I did not see any cost on this App. Provides a daily reminder. 

Meditation Studio: This one has a free starter series for beginners. I like their analogy of the mind as a puppy, because it will wonder off, just bring it back with a smile. The beginner meditation was a bit longer than 10% happier or Headspace but was very supportive and relaxing. After the starter series this App is $7.99 month or $49.99/year. I didn’t see an option to set up a daily reminder. 

These Apps are not necessary to use but they maybe a helpful tool for you. Especially if you are new to meditation, They provide some instruction and insight into the practice of meditation. I do like that most offer a reminder to help you remember to make your meditation a part of your self care priorities. Along with these Apps, there are also many YouTube videos that offer various levels of meditation, from beginning to experienced. As we start on this journey together, I think it is best to go out an experiment and find the technique and meditation type that are most helpful for you. 

Thank you for reading my blog today. I wish you a transformative and effortless meditation practice. 

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