A Story of Remembering

I want to tell you a story. This might be a story of old or it might be the story of now. It is likely a story that has occurred countless times throughout history. It is a story of trust and a story of renewal, but most of all, it a story of remembering.

There was a young woman. She was a mother or she wasn’t. She had responsibilities as we all do. One day, as she was walking through the forest of life, she saw a path. This path was not into the light but rather was a path into the darkness. This path went deep into the forest and it looked very dangerous. It was jagged and had many curves. It would have been impossible to learn were the path would take her by simply looking. The darkness of this path called to her. It called to her and it pulled at her, although she knew pain and betrayal waited for her along this path, she felt oddly intrigued by it.

Now I have to tell you, this young woman had always been responsible. She had always done what had been asked of her, what was expected of her, and even more. Everyone in her tribe felt she was the perfect young woman. Every mother wanted to call her daughter. The older men all wanted to call her daughter and the younger men chased her to be their bride. She cared for the young and learned from the elderly. She was the definition of smart and responsible.

Despite her history, as such a stand up member of the community, the young woman felt she must walk this path. She had to voyage into the darkness, even though it meant walking away from her responsibilities. She had to risk being hurt and had to hurt those who had placed so much trust and pride in her. She stepped onto the path, dropping the baskets that she had brought into the forest, leaving them where they lay.

The path was arduous. She stumbled and fell many times. She met scary creatures who pretended to be her friends or help her, but in the end, they we leading her farther into the darkness. They hurt her, physically, emotionally, and separated her from the light. Sometimes she tried to find her way back but they kept pulling her deeper into the darkness. They kept pulling her further from who she had been. They caused her to feel like a completely different person. It did not take long before she forgot who she was. She forgot she was from the light and she believed she was a creature of the darkness.

This went on for many years. The village mourned her. They felt that she was lost to them forever. They feared she would never find her way back to the light. But one day, she stumbled into the village. She was wild and untamed. She was a mere shadow of the bright young woman who she had once been. The darkness hung all around her and her “friends” from there, watched from the shadows. They called to her and pulled at her.

There was something about the village that felt like home to her, although she could not really recall. The community did not trust her, they avoided her. They would not let her care for the young or spend time with the elderly. They did not want to claim her as they once did. When they tried to give her responsibilities she would wander off or never fulfill them. Even though she was back, they felt she was still lost. They still did not recognize her as the brave and ambitious woman she had once been.

One day the village wise woman (the witch) was working quietly on something. She had been watching all of this. She saw how the darkness pulled at the woman, but she also saw how the woman tried to resist the darkness. She knew something deep within the young woman wanted to live fully in the light again, but there was so much baggage from the darkness, she couldn’t seem to step away from it. It had become a part of her identity.

The witch touched her finger to the young woman’s brow. The place in front of where the third eye resides. “Remember” said the wise old woman, “remember who you are”. The young woman blinked at her elder. The darkness seemed to fall away. Her “friends” let go of their holds on her and slunk back onto the treacherous path. Light beamed all around the young woman and she suddenly did remember who she was.

From that day on she worked to gain the trust of her community. She became who she had been only better. She was wiser now. Having known the darkness and living among the darkness helped her better see how she belonged in the light. It helped her embrace and enjoy her responsibilities. She become one others looked to for wisdom, for she had lived what they could never imagine and returned to the light.

Time would pass and worlds would change. The young woman would become the witch in the future. The wise woman would become the young woman again. This story would continue to unfold throughout history over and over again. Is this your story? It is my story. It is many peoples’ story. Forgive yourself for the time in the darkness. It was a part of your journey. It is done or nearly done now. You are wiser for it. Remember who you are! Remember that you are of the light!

Thank you for ready no my blog today! May you remember your true nature, as if by magic!

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Drumming With the Wolves; My Experience

On Saturday, July 21st I received the exciting opportunity to be part of an event called, Drumming with the Wolves. It was held at the Wildlife Science Center. To follow is the intentions behind the event, what I experienced there, and how it changed me.

The event was the brain child of one of my friends, Vonne. I feel grateful and blessed that she invited me to be a co-organizer for this important event. It was set with the idea of raising money to help support this important center and all of the great research they are gathering, knowledge they are sharing, and endangered animals they are fighting to keep from extinction.

The event started around 6 pm. The evening was sunny and warm and about 30-40 people joined us to have the opportunity to see these great creatures up close, learn about them, and be part of a drum circle. There was a strong feeling of community as old friends reunited and new friends met for the first time. I met some amazing people, who I hope to see again and again at future events. Peggy, the Founder, Biologist, and Wolf Mother took us on a tour of her amazing facility. We started off by meeting the Wolves. As we walked along their enclosures the Wolves ran up to the fence to meet us. I remember when my eyes met the golden eyes of the first majestic animal. I fell in love. You could see the wildness in his being but also the love. These Wolves are, after all, spiritual beings too. Peggy graciously educated us, answered questions, and howled so that the Wolves would howl back. I cannot describe the way it took my breath away to hear 100+ Wolves howling in chores together. I have heard Wolves howl when Emy and I were camping in the Boundary Waters but to have them all around us howling, was a completely different experience. We met many Wolves on this tour, all with their own interesting and unique stories to tell.

After we met the Wolves we got to meet some of the other wild creatures that have come to live there, because they cannot be released back to the wild. Mountain Lions, Lynx, and Bobcats all call the Wildlife Science Center home. Additionally, there are Bears, Raccoons, an elderly Porcupine, Fox, and Skunk. Each creature has its own story of how it came to call the heartfelt place home. There are also Raptors, who we did not get to meet, perhaps during the next public event called The Harvest Howl in October.

After we finished our tours we shared in a potluck. Prayer Ties were made with Tobacco grown from a 100 year old seed shared by an attending indigenous woman. Intentions and prayers were placed in the Ties to be fed to the fire. It was very beautiful and powerful. That this tradition was shared with us and the tobacco song sung in the native tongue made me feel honored and blessed to be a part of this.

I led a healing meditation. I was awed and a bit amused as the wolves added their howls from time to time to the meditation. It was as though they wanted to participate.

Now it was time for the drumming. Lisa called in the directions and led the drumming. The drums beat matched with the heartbeat of the Earth. Each drumming session had a powerful intention set with it. Children and adults all participated. There were Drums, Dowels, Tibetan Tingsha Cymbals, Singing Bowls, Rattles, and even a white Crystal Bowl. A Didgeridoo was played earlier in the night offering sound baths to some participants. It was a blend of cultures and such an amazing sense of community. There was no judgment, only love, community, and respect. The Drumming was an important and inspiring part of the evening. As our Drums beat together, joining us with each other and the natural world around us, our prayers were carried off with the Drum beats and vibrations. It connected us together with one another and with all of nature.

The Wolves; who are a fierce hunter, strong predator, and create fear in so many – displayed only love and curiosity during our visit. They are well cared for and respected. They are not pets but rather wild animals who need our help and understanding to survive. At the end of the night we howled, Peggy howled, and the Wolves howled. It was a final goodbye and great end to the night.

It was an experience that was transformative in many ways. I was looking forward to the Drumming but the night was so much more than just that. The opportunities to join these kind of events is a blessing. They enhance your life and teach you things about others, but more than anything else, they help you to know yourself even better. What moves you, inspires you, touches your heart? This event and the people and creatures I met here did all these things for me and more.

Thank you for reading my blog today. May you find events that foster in you a deeper connection with yourself and those around you, as if by magic. I love you!

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Improving the World – Starting Right Here

I want to make the world a better place. I want to do my part to raise the vibration. Bring peace and healing to the planet and to promote kinship, hope, and love amongst all people. These seem like quite lofty goals. So how does one even get started on a journey to make the world a better place?

This morning in my meditation it became clear to me. The best way for me to improve the planet is to start right here, deep inside of myself. I cannot promote love unless I am love. I cannot promote peace, unless I am peace. I cannot promote healing, unless I am healing. I cannot promote high vibrational energy, unless I am high vibrational energy.

Far to often as I go about my day stressed, disappointed and frustrated as part of my experience. I am human and having human emotions is a normal experience. I must not “shame” myself for these emotions but I also must not get “stuck” in these emotions. When we experience these lower vibrational energies, it is important to acknowledge them. Allow them to move through us. What we resist, persists! By trying to deny our experience of these human emotions, they cling to us. When we notice them and feel them, then we can let them move through us.

Here are some steps to help process and move past these times when we are not feeling our vibrations are at their highest possible levels.

1 Become aware of it: Notice that a lower vibrational energy such as anger, grief, jealousy, sorrow, judgement, fear, etc. has entered your experience.

2 Feel it: Really feel it. Do not judge it.

3 Allow it: Take a moment to allow it. Just sit with it. Don’t shame yourself. This is a part of the human experience.

4 Reflect on it: If it is possible step back from it and look at it. Think about why you are feeling like you do? Why has this situation affected your emotions in this way?

5 Bless it: Those emotions have purposes. Thank them for being a part of your human experience.

6 Release it: It is not necessary to hold on to it. There are many different techniques for release of stubborn emotions. The Sedona Method is one. EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) or tapping is another. Some emotions will release easily. Others you may need a technique and still others you may need the help of a therapist or healer.

7 Replace it with Gratitude: Gratitude, which is born from Love, is powerful. We ALL have things to be grateful for. Allow that gratitude to flow into you and through you to replace the space the lower vibrational energy has vacated.

Today as I journey through my day I will focus on Love, Gratitude, and Hope. I will feel blessed and share blessing with my fellow voyagers. When I observe an emotion that does not seem to be in alignment with these intentions I will work the 7 steps above to maneuver past it. I hope you will do the same. Together we will make the world a better place!

Thank you for reading my blog today. May you effortlessly move past emotions that do not serve your greatest and highest good, as if by magic. I love you.

Week 8 of the Daily Meditation Adventure

If you have not already joined our 90 day meditation adventure, I hope you will still do so. Here’s how week eight went for me.

What I have learned: This past week I have had multiple nights where I been challenged by insomnia. I tried to use various guided meditations, for sleep, to assist me through these periods. I learned, that for me, they give me a period of relaxation followed by a second wind. In the end they did not help me attain a restful nights sleep.

Experiences during the week: I have been experimenting this week with different YouTube meditations. I had one especially powerful experience with a Yoga Nidra meditation. This is a type of meditation I have not experienced before. Upon doing some research I learned the Nidra is the Sanskrit word for sleep. Yoga Nidra is a way of using that stage just between wake and sleep to plant seeds of your intentions. I intend to experiment with this some more.

My weight: My weight has decreased by 1.8lbs since starting the challenge. In full disclosure I did start intermittent fasting, so I cannot claim that meditation alone caused the weight loss. The meditation does help with the fasting when I feel hungry or tempted to eat. It also helps me feel calmer so I am less likely to partake in emotional eating.

How I feel: Upon completion of a meditation I feel relaxed. I have been quite stressed lately; feeling all the pressure from multiple sources, bearing down on me. Of course, it is all self induced pressures. There are things I could choose not to participate in, others that I wouldn’t have to push so hard at, and still others that I could put up healthy boundaries around. I choose to continue to try and do it all and be it all. The meditation gives me a brief reprieve from the stress.

How it is affecting my life: The affect on my life changes from moment to moment. Sometimes meditation is still a stressor – something I have to get done. Other times it gives me a tool to use when life feels out of control. This week I am going to make a conscious effort to find time to meditate when life feels out of control. When all of life pressures are causing me to feel uncomfortable, then I will turn to meditation as a moment of freedom from it all.

I would love to hear your experiences with this. Have you found your preferred meditation style? Do you have a preferred meditation space? Is meditation helping enhance your life?

Thank you for reading my blog today. I wish you a lifetime of healthy habits which settle themselves into your life as if by magic.

Previous meditation blogs by the Adventure Sisters: Join Us on This Adventure, Meditate the weight away?, 9 ways to improve meditation, Meditation contemplations, There’s an App for That: A review of meditation Apps, 7 Common Meditation Myths, 11 Types of Meditation

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90 Days of Daily Meditation -check in -week 2

If you have not already joined our 90 day meditation adventure, I hope you will still do so. Here is how the last week went for me.

Experiences during the week: This week’s meditation has been a struggle for me. I am disappointed in my meditation performance. I allowed my business of life to get in the way of my daily practice and there were even several nights when I laid down at the end of the day just to realize I had not meditated. When I would attempt to do so, while laying there, I would drift off to sleep. Though I did have one very profound meditation during the week. It happened when I meditated first thing in the morning. During my meditation I received a couple of great inspirations. One, was to rename a class I’m offering with a catchier name, occurred to me during the time I quieted my brain.

What I have learned: I have learned I need to schedule a time to start my meditation or I will try to do it at the end of the day when I lay down before I fall asleep.

My weight: I am still on the road and have no mechanism to measure if my weight has changed. I do not sense a change in how my clothing is fitting me.

How I feel: I feel motivated to do better this next week. I feel a need to put myself first again. My travels this week brought me from the eastern time zone to the pacific. Which I will be reversing tomorrow and then back the following week. Because these switches can be a bit challenging I will need the meditation more than ever, to help keep myself calm and centered.

How it is affecting my life: On the days I meditated early in the day, I found the meditation profound and a blessing to start my day. On the days I did it at the end of the day while laying in bed, I found it induced good sleep. I was exceptionally tired this week due to a demanding schedule and travels that took me to or through 9 different states from Thursday to Monday. Even though I had high hopes for more profound meditation experiences, in reflecting, I see that the meditation experiences I had were the ones I needed.

Thank you for reading my blog today! I am proud of you for the things you are doing and/or wanting to do to take care of yourself. Even baby steps count! I wish you a lifetime of meditations that are exactly what you need. Blessings!

Previous meditation blogs by the Adventure Sisters: Join Us on This Adventure, Meditate the weight away?, 9 ways to improve meditation, Meditation contemplations, There’s an App for That: A review of meditation Apps, 7 Common Meditation Myths, 11 Types of Meditation

Recommitting To Me!

Lately, I have been feeling drawn to run. I have in the past had a love/hate relationship with running. I hate to do it but love to be able to do it. But let’s face it, if you have ever been a runner, it gets under your skin. When you aren’t going on runs, you can feel it trying to spur you on. You can hear the trail, ever so gently calling; “come run with me”. I have been hearing the trail calling for months now and ignoring it. There are other ways I am being called to improve my health as well. I keep hearing my inner voice tell me to improve the quality of what I put in my body. So, I decided, now is the time. It is the time to recommit to me.

I stopped running a few years ago when I hurt my knee training for a half marathon. I had procrastinated starting my training and then pushed very hard to get the speed and stamina I needed to finish in the required time. Once I knew I had injured my knee, I switched to biking and other ways to keep up my fitness, while resting my complaining joint. The weekend before the half marathon, I did a nice and easy 5K with a friend. All felt fine. It was during that next 1/2 marathon, at about mile 5 of 13, that the pain returned. I did finish the 1/2 marathon (although not in the required time). Even though I was hurting, I made one more poor decision that ended my running, I ran a 5K again the next weekend. I tried to ignore what my body was telling me and pushed on and that was it. I have since attempted to get back into running a few times but my conditioning is just not what it once was. That and I can think of a million reasons why not to go for a run. It’s too cold, I am too busy or I don’t have the right shoes all work well.

I have heard the call of my body. It is saying, “Stacy, take care of me”. It is pleading with me to stop drinking the diet soda I guzzle by the cases (even though I believe it is poison). My body is kindly requesting that I not drink wine. Not only by my physical form but also my spirit is screaming at me to get back out on the trail. Hiking, running, walking, climbing; it does not matter, just get out in the fresh air and go. Move your body! Get out of the basement and stop binge watch TV shows. The spirit that flows through me says there is more to life than that. I know this and it feels that now is the time to honor my life and physical being.

Now don’t get me wrong. I do take pretty good care of myself. I eat a vegetarian diet, limit my intake of processed sugar and fried foods. I look for natural or holistic treatments when possible. I seek balance, although this is one of the areas I need further work on. I am not good at resting. But I feel making these three changes will enhance my life and respect this meat suit that I have to wear for this lifetime.

I was receiving healing at Heaven On Earth Healing. The practitioner used NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) to work with me. She had me visualize myself running. It was an interesting process and I had some profound “ah-ha” moments during it. Today I went for my first run in a few years. Last night I skipped my nightcap. Today I am drinking tea and not my usual soda. I am ready to recommit to myself. I am ready to treat my body with the same respect I give my mind and soul.

I am not perfect, nor do I want to be. Where is the fun in that? I do want to be better. After all, isn’t that what this journey is about, doing better today than we did yesterday. Slowly making progress forward. So I recommitted to me. I answered the call of the pavement. I ran a very slow 2 miles but I am very proud of myself for doing it.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I wish you a lifetime of a healthy and happy choices that seem easy to make. Recommit to yourself my friends. I love you.

*The photo is my daughter and I at our first 1/2 marathon which we did together.

Transforming Your Life

Do you have aspects of your life that you are not okay with? Of course! We all have parts that we could take out and shine up. There are certain practices that we can leave in the past, to step into our future as a better version of ourselves. There are probably many ways that you have ready done this on some small scale and if you look at how you did, you will begin to see how you can do it on a larger scale.

During my lifetime I have done many things that have transformed my life. When I look back at these things, I see the common factor being my belief in myself. I am a high school drop out. How did I move past that to have a Bachelors of Science in Nursing and several credits in a Graduate program? How did I keep moving on forward to a place of a successful career? I believed that I would. Never once did I think that decision defined me. Perhaps I was lucky to not know the statistics about the future for high school dropouts.

When I was young, I smoked. It had a two pack a day habit. I quit this unhealthy practice 28 years ago. Once again, I quit because I believed I could. I did not allow the term “smoker” to define me. I did not care if the statistics said if I could or would quit. I saw what I was capable of and I worked to make that vision of myself a reality.

I was morbidly obese. Once again, I did not allow this to define who I am. I decided to become a runner. I had never been athletic as a child but why did that have to define me? I have completed 3 half marathons and countless shorter events. I also completed a 150 mile bike ride for charity, done a lot of hiking and kayaking and enjoy an active lifestyle. Once again, it was believing in myself and wanting something better for my life that helped me to pull myself up and push forward.

Whether the aspects of your life that you want to change, are big or small, involve a career goal or creating more healthy habits, you can accomplish it!

You are capable of amazing things! This capability comes from deep within you. There is a strength that lies coiled inside of you. Call on this strength to become more than you are today. Call on this strength to incorporate a new healthy habit into your life. Call on this strength to live the life of your dreams! I believe in you! You should believe in yourself too! You see stories all around you of people improving their lives. No one is more captive of improving your life than you are!

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you and I believe in you! I wish you a lifetime full of positive changes.

What inspires you?

I went to a speech contest for my Toastmaster’s District tonight. There was a wide variety of speeches. Funny tall tales started the night off with great humor. There were passionate speeches, speeches that were serving a mission, and teaching speeches. The speakers were all good, brave, and inspiring. It got me thinking about what is inspiring. What inspired me? What inspires you?

Motivation is an external, temporary high that PUSHES you forward. Inspiration is a sustainable internal glow which PULLS you forward.

~ Thomas Leonard

What is it that makes something inspiring? Why is it when we read or hear some message, we feel that pull to take action. Something inside us resonates with the message. One of the speeches tonight was about running. I have run for fitness and to train for events. I have completed several road races (enough to have a quilt made from the t-shirts) and 3 half marathons. I know the love hate relationship with running. I hate to do it but love to be able to do it. My husband is a kayaker and hiker but has never been much of a runner. I asked him if the speech had the same motivating effect on him. He said that it did make him consider giving it a try. Was the inspirational call to lace up the sneakers more of a call to me, because I know the sound of shoes hitting the pavement in a rhythmic pattern in the still, quiet morning? The feel of runners lined up for a big 5K event with the group excitement carrying everyone across the starting line when the pistol fires, runs in my veins. I have a running playlist on my phone and certain songs that have play during my train times will always be linked to running in my heart. Does all of this predispose me to be inspired by her speech, even though I have not run in a few years?

I want to inspire people to overcome their self limiting beliefs. I want to help people do what they may not; even believe is a possibly for them. Am I more likely to reach those people who have already experienced overcoming their own fears? Those who have moved past their own self doubt in the past, are they the spirits I can reach? I am happy to to inspire all of these people, but I also want to inspire those who have not had that experience before. I want to reach that person who is feeling my messages are for others… who hasn’t tasted success. I want that sneaky inspiration to get beyond their walls and start to pull them out of the darkness. I want them to break the shell they have been in and grow beyond what they thought was impossible. Then I want them to share their stories to inspire others! We have all been there. I was the overweight kid, who had no athletic ability and poor self esteem. Somehow I have become a woman who has roughed it in the boundary waters, ran half marathons, kayaked on the Mississippi, hiked on Mount Reiner, traveled to 18 different countries (so far), and Co-authored 3 books.

I want to inspire you! I want you to feel the pull to do what you think or thought you couldn’t! I want to hear about you blazing trails, taking the trip of a lifetime, and surpassing your dreams! Be inspired fiends and inspire others!

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Say What You Want! Part 2 of the Mastering Manifesting Series!

We often say things that affect our ability to Manifest. We do it out of habit and without even thinking about it. We do it all the time. A couple important things to remember about manifesting is that; our thoughts and words become real and the other is to remember to stay on the positive side of what you want. The Universe will not hear the don’ts. Keep these tidbits in mind when you are speaking.

Someone said to me, “I’m having a hard time manifesting my plenty of time, money, and energy mantra”. When that was thought and then said, the Universe heard that and reinforced it. It became true. That “hard time” was granted. “I effortlessly manifest plenty of time, endless energy, and abundant money”, is a better thing to say. Sometimes it doesn’t seem true to our logical mind. Even if we don’t believe it in our heart of hearts we can still say it as if it were true. “I effortlessly manifest plenty of time, endless energy, and abundant money”. Even if you don’t really believe when you first start. The more you say it, reinforce it, the more it will start to come true. If you say, “that manifesting stuff doesn’t work for me”, it never will. Try saying, “I manifest frequently, easily, and with great success!”

We also need to stay cognizant about the things we don’t want. Imagine saying, “I don’t want to get laid off”. The universe only hears that you want to get laid off. A better thing to say is, “I want to stay happily employed”. “I want to loose weight”. What does the universe hear? That you want to need to loose weight. A better thing to say would be, “I am thin and fit”. “I want to be out of debt”. Better to proclaim to the Universe, “I have abundant money!”.

Are you starting to see what the Universe needs for you to do in order to manifest your dreams? Believe in the possibilities. Even if you do not believe everything you are saying, keep saying it. It really does matter what you say. Even if you tell it to others with a wink, keep saying it. “I have plenty of time, endless energy, and abundant money!” “I am thin and fit” “I am….” or “I have….” fill in the blank.

Blessing friends! Keep manifesting! The first blog in the series is here.

Beneficial Forgiveness

Who are you unable to forgive and why? What things do you consider to be unforgivable? What mistakes have you made in life that you are still holding tight to because the pain is too much to think about? Being able to forgive others and even more so, to forgive yourself, can be life changing.

Most people do not set out in life to be a pain the the you know what. As humans, I believe we do the best we can, in the time and space we are in. But because of what we are holding on to, sometime the decisions we make will cause pain for ourselves and or others. I think if we realize that people do the best they can in the time and space they are in, it’ll help you leg go of the anger, regret and disappointment in order to find it in your heart to offer forgiveness.

I was in a toxic marriage once. There was verbal and emotional things happening that have had a lasting impact. I stayed in the marriage because I really believed that my children needed a home with a father and a mother. I also did not believe I could be successful in providing my children with a home and the other things they needed without two incomes. I was wrong about both of these things. I stayed because I didn’t know I was wrong. I stayed because I didn’t understand the lasting impact that this environment was having on my children. I stayed because I did not have enough self worth to believe I could leave. Eventually, I found my self worth and did leave the marriage. I am only now starting to fully understand how my children were hurt and affected by this.

So who do I need to forgive as a result of this story. I need to forgive myself for staying way to long. I need to forgive my ex-husband for the way he treated me and the children. I need to forgive my daughter who still holds so much anger at me for staying too long and for not protecting her more. I need to forgive my catholic up bringing that made me think I couldn’t leave. I need to forgive myself for feeling like a failure, because I couldn’t fix it.

I will tell you I have worked through this and have been able to forgive. Much of this processing and healing took place in the BWCA, with Emy’s support and love. I was able to touch those very painful emotions that were pushed down deep inside. I was able to feel them and understand them and eventually let them go. I was able to understand that my ex-husband was doing the best he could in the time and space he was in. He had learned how to be a family from his own family. Perhaps what had been modeled for him, when he was a child, was also not healthy. I came to understand that he had his own inner demons and probably did not like himself very much. He did not know how to deal with or heal these things. So it came out in these ways that harmed our family. Once I had some understanding of why he acted the way he did, I was able to forgive him. This forgiveness was a gift to him but more importantly it was a gift to myself. Forgiving him freed me from wallowing in the hate and self loathing. Forgiving him allowed me to get to the place where I could forgive myself. Forgiving him allowed me to let go of that “failed” marriage and give it blessings for the experiences I had and the things I learned as a result of it. Forgiving him gave me a new found freedom and a new found peace. Forgiving him was far more beneficial to me than it will ever be to him. Forgiving my daughter is easy. I pray the someday she will forgive me. Not because I feel I need forgiveness but because it will free her and allow her to heal. Forgiving my catholic up bringing was easier once I realized that it was a result of good intentions on my parents part. They were doing what they thought was right. They were doing the best they could to raise their children. “The road to hell is paved with good intentions”. I think when we can see the good intentions behind the things that hurt us, it is easier to find forgiveness.

The hardest forgiveness that took place from the story I shared above was forgiving myself. We hold ourselves to a higher standard. We do not allow for our own mistakes. We take these perceived “failures” and hold on to them. We often feel they are unforgivable. None of us are perfect. Once I was able to realize that I too did the best I could in the time and place I was in, I began to see that I was able to forgive myself. I forgave myself for staying too long, for “failing” at marriage, for the mistakes I made in the midst of the marriage that made situations worse. The freedom of no longer holding on to these things allowed for a sense of freedom. The chains had been released. I was able to move on. I was able to work on myself and become a healthier version of me. I was able to find a relationship that is happy and healthy.

What in your life are you not able to forgive? Yourself? Others? Situations? Is there a way that you can see these situations from another perspective and find forgiveness? It will change your life. Forgive others, not for their benefit but for your own benefit. Free yourself from having to hold on to that disappointment any longer.

Do you have a story to share about how forgiveness improved your life? Do you have things you are currently working on forgiving yourself for? Do you have things you have learned along the way you would like to share with others?

Thank you for reading my blogs today. Feel free to share it with others you feel it may help. May your life be filled with healthy forgiveness. Blessings, Stacy