7 Important Traits of Friends

I feel I am blessed to have so many good friends. Interestingly, I have never been someone who sets out to make friends but somehow I’ve have always been blessed with the most amazing friends. My friends live in many different places and it is a blessing when life brings us to the same places at the same time. Time together is such a gift and as I have grown, I have learned some things about being a friend.

  1. Accept your friends for who they are. They are perfectly them, just as you are perfectly you. If you try to change them you will only feel frustrated and they may feel hurt. Accept them whole for just who they are, warts and all. It is what is inside that really matters. This concept is called unconditional love.
  2. Time together is the greatest thing you can give a friend. There is no need for extravagant gifts. Nothing could be better than spending time and sharing experiences. Last weekend Emy and I shared our retreat. I have another friend who introduced Marty and I to Kirtans and we often attend them together.
  3. Be fair. Equal exchange of energy is very important in life and even more so in relationships. I am blessed to have friends who are very generous with me. It is important that those kindnesses are repaid in some way but not necessarily tit for tat. Marty and I have a friend who lets us do laundry at her home and another who stores our vehicle, when we’re in Florida. Marty and I help with projects around their homes, as we can. There are many similar examples of how we can support each other by assisting with what each other needs, without having to feel a responsibility too. Just lend a hand when the opportunity arrises.
  4. Listen and really let your friend feel heard. One of the greatest gifts we can give another human being is to really listen to what they have to say and hear their stories. When I read tarot cards, it is one of the most important parts of the reading. Hearing what the other has to say and sharing ideas, is such a great way to connect as well. You just never know what may grow out of this exchange.
  5. Be honest with your friends and allow them to be honest with you. If a friend shares a deep dark secret with you, don’t judge them, just accept them for who they are. Hold a space for both of you to speak your truth. Sometimes we can feel pushed into something with friends. We get swept up in the excitement and before we know it we are carried away into something they want to do. Trust your friends to love you, even if what you want to do is not what they want to do.
  6. Encourage your friends. No matter how crazy the ideas may sound to us, having a friend who cheers us on, is a beautiful thing. Often family gets wrapped up in the fear, but a friend can really help us manifest our dreams so we can live our best life.  It is such a blessing to have a friend encouraging you to live the life of your dreams.
  7. Do not take them for granted. I appreciate my friends so much. I always share with them that I appreciate them and their time. I tell my friends I love them because we all need to hear it. I hug my friends. When our hearts meet in an embrace it is such a beautiful moment of warmth and connection.

What traits do you find important in friends? How do you bring your best foot forward in friendships? What traits are important to you when you are looking for friendship from others? We do not travel this life alone. Others join us, some for a large part of our life and other times for a shorter period of time. The length of our friendships does not lessen the impact they may have on us or us on them.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you. May all of your friendships be meaningful, as if by magic.

*Photo was taken in Rome, Italy

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A Little Something to Reflect On

Before you speak, listen.

Before you write, think.

Before you spend, earn.

Before you invest, investigate.

Before you criticize, wait.

Before you pray, forgive.

Before you quit, try.

Before you retire, save.

Before you die, give.

       ~William Arthur Ward

I saw some version of this quote in a high school class room tonight. In a world where so much is available instantly, there are a lot of radical ideas in this quote. How many of these things do we just go through the motions of and do not even consider?

Before you speak, listen. This first line of the quote is so very profound. How often are we so busy telling everyone all the wonderful stuff that we know or have seen, that we never take the time to listen to what they have to share with us. Speaking without listening hinders learning. The people around us are full of interesting tidbits to share but if we are so busy talking and not listening, how can we learn from them?

Before you write, think. In a world where what we write, can be seen by others instantly, this is even more important. This goes for notes, emails, posts, and texts. So often, in the heat of a moment, we can hit the button and send words out into the world that we never really wanted there.

Before you spend, earn. Today credit cards are a way of life. They are a trap that I have fallen into over and over again. Living within your means is an important step to overall wellness. If you don’t have the cash, don’t do it. Taking a good hard look at “our” finances has taught us a lot about how to have a better overall financial health.

Before you criticize, wait. Judging someone is easy but not always accurate. Waiting will give the ‘other’ time to reveal themselves to you. You may learn the rest of the story which may change your viewpoint. That thing, that seemed worthy of you criticism, may turn out to have been a heroic and selfless act. It’s amazing what a little bit of time and distance from an event can teach us.

Before you quit, try. I can’t even count how many times people have said they are not going to try something because it won’t work out them anyway. They are assuming an outcome and quitting before they even get started.

Before you die, give. What does this one mean to you? What is the legacy you leave the world? How can you give? It may not be money or things that you are giving. It may be sharing information. Giving the gift of your time. So many wonderful organizations really need volunteers. Did you know hospices are required to have a certain percentage of volunteer hours? Children’s sports teams, pet rescues, shelters, community initiatives, and so many other groups would not be able to do the good work they do with out the gift of loving people’s time.

I felt like the words in this quote have so much to say to us as autumn turns to winter. Winter is a perfect time to reflect, learn, and grow. How can you better embrace these principles in your life? How can reflecting on these lines help you be the best version of yourself?

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you! May your mark on the world send ripples of hope to every corner, as if by magic.

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The Power of Feeling Heard

Have you ever felt frustrated because you were trying to express yourself and no one would listen? Maybe it was something close to your heart and you just didn’t feel safe to share it. Have you experienced trying to share something and the other person just wants to tell you what you should do and give you advice that makes you feel invalidated. It can be so frustrating when you do not feel heard. There is truly a power, in those times, when someone really listens and you can fully let your soul express itself.

When I read tarot cards publicly, I have often found that the most powerful part of the whole process is not anything to do with the cards. It has to do with the person on the other side of the table feeling heard. I have had people break into tears because they were able to tell me something they had never shared with another person. I have seen the stress melt away from the person’s face and their shoulders relax as I truly listened to what they had to say. As I heard them, and did not judge them, they felt safe and validated. It is truly a gift you can give to another person.

I was with an amazing group of dynamic woman the other day. They were all sharing how, in their various ways, they shared healing with the world. It did not matter what their careers were. Over and over again I witnessed them expressing they same thing. They listened to people. They let them be who they were and kindly heard what that other was trying to express. Just think, you have that power too! You can bear witness to what your friend, client, family member, or stranger at the grocery store is telling you. When you are open to truly hearing people, you will be amazed what they will share. I have had people working the drive-through window open up and spill their guts to me.

Another friend shared a video on FB. It was about grief. It expressed that, people who are going through a loss, do not want your advise or for you to tell them everything is going to be okay. They need you to witness their pain and be there for them. Let them cry and express themselves and know that, not only do you not have to fix it for them, you can’t fix it for them. Just hear them, accept them, be there with a shoulder to cry on and a ear to listen to them.

So how often in life do you really truly feel heard? It is a magical thing when it happens. We are often so distracted and busy multitasking that we do not give people the time and attention they deserve. If you are not feeling like you are getting what you need, there are a couple things you can do.

  1. Find  a group – it could be a group of friends, a support group, or a spiritual group. ‘Meet Up’ is full of groups for various types of activities and interests.
  2. That really close friend – if you have a friend you can really talk to (not everyone does) tell them what you need. That you just really need them to listen to you and not fix it for you. That you just want to be heard.
  3. Seek out a professional – maybe this is a counselor or a therapist, but it could be a great hair stylist, massage therapist, life couch, psychic, or medical professional. You know the professionals you work with and you know what area you need to be heard in. These people are use to listening and you are paying them for their time. They may be just who you need to talk to. Perhaps it is time to pay one of these people a visit.

Whether you are the person who needs to be heard or the one who needs to do the hearing, there is a wonderful gift to be had in such a simple act. We all sit on both sides of this table from time to time. Be aware of those you interact with. It may be you who are able to share this powerful gift with them. Perhaps, by you modeling how to truly hold the space for someone to share their inner most thoughts, you will also be teaching them to do that for others in the future.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you! May you always feel heard, as if by magic.

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Trust Yourself

How comfortable are you with your intuition? Can you listen to that little voice deep inside of you. Do you know that feeling you get when your inner self is trying to guide you? Today I want to talk about some ways you can practice with your intuition. Begin to trust that voice of consciousness that is there to help guide you.

First though, you must learn how your intuition talks to you. It may be many different ways. It may be a feeling in your stomach. Did you know that the gastrointestinal system is often called the second brain? Deepak Chopra said, “If you say ‘I have a gut feeling about such and such’ you’re not speaking metaphorically, you’re speaking literally. Your gut makes the same chemicals that your brain makes when it thinks.” When you are making simple decisions like, “Should I have spaghetti or stir fry?” or “Should I wear the white shirt or the blue one?” check in with your gut. It will help you start to trust your gut. Then you can move on to checking in with bigger and bigger things.

Another technique, that can be used, is body testing or muscle testing. This is often used when selecting things to put in our bodies, like supplements or ingredients in food, but can be used for other items as well. There are many ways to do this. The way I do it most often is to stand still. I hold the supplement to my chest and ask if I should take it. If I should, my body will tip slightly forward. If I should not, it will tip slightly back. If you have never tried this before, it can be fun to start out trying it with various foods.

A third technique can be to notice what comes to mind often. I do this with my jewelry. Much of my jewelry has various purposes. I wear my Ganesh neckless to remove barriers, mirrored earrings to protect me from negativity, Amethyst for calm, Chakra colors for balance, and so on. I instinctively know which jewelry to wear for the day because it will keep coming to mind. When I am going about my day I notice what is happening and am frequently rewarded with confirmation that my intuition was correct as various experiences show up and my purposeful jewelry is there to assist me.

By practicing with your intuition on these little simple ways, you can better understand how it works and learn to trust it on a deeper level. Before long you will be using it to make bigger and bigger decision. You will find that once you get a feeling for your intuition and how it “speaks” to you, that it will not lead you astray.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I wish you a lifetime of your intuition leading you boldly toward the life of your dreams. I love you.

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