7 Important Traits of Friends

I feel I am blessed to have so many good friends. Interestingly, I have never been someone who sets out to make friends but somehow I’ve have always been blessed with the most amazing friends. My friends live in many different places and it is a blessing when life brings us to the same places at the same time. Time together is such a gift and as I have grown, I have learned some things about being a friend.

  1. Accept your friends for who they are. They are perfectly them, just as you are perfectly you. If you try to change them you will only feel frustrated and they may feel hurt. Accept them whole for just who they are, warts and all. It is what is inside that really matters. This concept is called unconditional love.
  2. Time together is the greatest thing you can give a friend. There is no need for extravagant gifts. Nothing could be better than spending time and sharing experiences. Last weekend Emy and I shared our retreat. I have another friend who introduced Marty and I to Kirtans and we often attend them together.
  3. Be fair. Equal exchange of energy is very important in life and even more so in relationships. I am blessed to have friends who are very generous with me. It is important that those kindnesses are repaid in some way but not necessarily tit for tat. Marty and I have a friend who lets us do laundry at her home and another who stores our vehicle, when we’re in Florida. Marty and I help with projects around their homes, as we can. There are many similar examples of how we can support each other by assisting with what each other needs, without having to feel a responsibility too. Just lend a hand when the opportunity arrises.
  4. Listen and really let your friend feel heard. One of the greatest gifts we can give another human being is to really listen to what they have to say and hear their stories. When I read tarot cards, it is one of the most important parts of the reading. Hearing what the other has to say and sharing ideas, is such a great way to connect as well. You just never know what may grow out of this exchange.
  5. Be honest with your friends and allow them to be honest with you. If a friend shares a deep dark secret with you, don’t judge them, just accept them for who they are. Hold a space for both of you to speak your truth. Sometimes we can feel pushed into something with friends. We get swept up in the excitement and before we know it we are carried away into something they want to do. Trust your friends to love you, even if what you want to do is not what they want to do.
  6. Encourage your friends. No matter how crazy the ideas may sound to us, having a friend who cheers us on, is a beautiful thing. Often family gets wrapped up in the fear, but a friend can really help us manifest our dreams so we can live our best life.  It is such a blessing to have a friend encouraging you to live the life of your dreams.
  7. Do not take them for granted. I appreciate my friends so much. I always share with them that I appreciate them and their time. I tell my friends I love them because we all need to hear it. I hug my friends. When our hearts meet in an embrace it is such a beautiful moment of warmth and connection.

What traits do you find important in friends? How do you bring your best foot forward in friendships? What traits are important to you when you are looking for friendship from others? We do not travel this life alone. Others join us, some for a large part of our life and other times for a shorter period of time. The length of our friendships does not lessen the impact they may have on us or us on them.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you. May all of your friendships be meaningful, as if by magic.

*Photo was taken in Rome, Italy

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Divine Timing

Have you heard of the idea of Divine timing? It is the concept that everything happens precisely when it is supposed to. It can be a very freeing idea. It takes a lot of the stress out of our lives and helps us be able to “trust” in the flow. How can a trust in Diving timing reduce your stress? Let’s go over a couple of quick examples and you can see how it has played out in your life from time to time.

  • You are running late to meet a friend but when you pull up you notice your friend is just arriving as well.
  • You apply for a promotion at work but do not get it. A few months later an even better position opens up and you do get this one.
  • You meet a person you are romantically interested in and things just don’t work out. A year or two later the two of you reconnect and everything works out swimmingly or perhaps you meet someone who is an even better match for you.
  • You want to buy a house and you find one you like. For whatever reason, the purchase falls through only to find a better house that is beyond your dreams, that you are able purchase.

These are all examples of Divine timing. Have you had examples of things like these happening in your life? Have you ever had times when you have tried to force things to happen a certain way and ended up in a situation that just did not feel right or comfortable? Did you obtain something, that in the end, you did not enjoy or it wasn’t what you expected?

By trusting in Divine timing, life has more flow to it. There is less stress. You can apply for that promotion without attachment. Simply give it a try and trust that it will happen when the time is perfect. When you are running late, you can travel safely to your destination knowing that you will arrive exactly when you are meant to. I am not saying that you should be disrespectful of people’s time or have no regard to being punctual. What I want you to understand is that if life suddenly swirls in and puts you behind schedule, trust it. Do not fret and worry. It will be okay.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you. May you you travel through life in the perfect flow, as if by magic.

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How Do You Eat an Elephant or (in this case) a Dinosaur?

**First Marty wanted to say no dinosaurs were hurt in the making of this blog or above picture.

A friend recently reached out to me because of a meme on Facebook that said, “Your diet is not only what you eat. It is what you watch, what you listen to, what you read, the people you hang out with and the things you subject your mind and soul to. Always be mindful of the things you put into your body emotionally, spiritually, and physically.” It was from @aNewKindofHuman. The reason she contacted me was because this seemed so overwhelming to try and change all of these things at once. Of course being a wise woman, in her own right, she already knew the answer. “How do you eat an Elephant?” “One bite at a time”.

There are so many things in life that we can be doing to improve our life, bodies, minds, situation, performance, and ourselves. It can feel very overwhelming if we try and focus on them all at once. I am currently on a sabbatical from alcohol, working on 21 days to be complaint free, wanting to walk 10,000 steps a day, maintain a low sugar intake, intermittent fasting, and be a faithful pescatarian. On top of all that, I would like a daily yoga and mediation practice, to read more books, start running again, journal, return to my Toastmasters groups, blog more, volunteer more, offer online classes, and learn some new healing modalities. There are probably several other things I would like to do as well to improve myself and be the best ‘me’ I can be.  It is easy to see how quickly all this could be very overwhelming.

This is precisely the reason, when another friend with my best interest at heart, encouraged me to give up diet soda I told her not right now. I know, that the ways I am currently working on myself are enough for me right now. I cannot improve everything at once. I have to eat the elephant, one bite at a time. I can start to try to add a bit more water to my day, in hopes that it will replace some of the diet soda naturally, but to give up diet soda right now would increase the chances of failure. Not only failure in that but maybe some of my other initiatives as well. I do believe that soda is not good for me and in time I will stop, but today my mouth is full and I am not ready for the next bite.

Yes, what we put into our bodies, minds, and spirits does matter. Trying to be the best ‘us’ we can be is a very noble journey. It is important to continue to move forward, step by step, along our path. But, we are human. This is a human experience and we cannot strive for perfection all at once. It takes a slow, methodical approach. Just like walking across the street. You cannot jump over the street. You must cross it step by step. I am proud of you for the improvements you are making to your life. You should be proud of yourself too! Go ahead, it is okay, celebrate your successes! There will be time for more successes in the future.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you. May you have many successes (big and small) to celebrate, as if by magic.

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Give It Some Time – The Richness of Life Will Reward You

Last night I ate green curry for supper. It was very good but I couldn’t eat it all. This morning, I decided, why not eat the left overs for breakfast. I know, not your traditional breakfast food, but I am not a traditional girl. I came to some big realizations by eating this non-traditional breakfast. The first was that it tasted so much better today! Think about all the things in life we hurry along, but if we only had allowed them to simmer and get ready in their own time, perhaps they would be much better. We value youth but age (experience) has so much to teach us. We live in a world of instant gratification but, if we let things come around in their own time, they could be so much better. 

Let’s look at senior citizens. These amazing folks have lived through things that we have never experienced. We are unlikely to experience all the things they have. Look at the changes they have seen to civil rights, technology, travel, and the economy. The world today, is a very different place than the one they grew up in. They have lived through World Wars and the Great Depression; these are certainly things I hope to never experience but just imagine all they learned going through that. Look at the changes to Women’s Rights. In her day, my mother was fired from her job because (as a married woman) she got pregnant. That was completely normal and acceptable, not so very long ago. Growing up fast could not give us the knowledge and experience or form us into the people we are meant to be. Only time can work her magic in these situations. 

Let’s look at relationships. In the past I have rushed quickly into relationships. I did not give myself the time or freedom to date many people. I would meet someone and then make them my everything and eventual marry them. I did this twice. When I eventually decided I would like to try a romantic relationship again; I allowed myself to date many people. I did not rush anything. I allowed things to come about in their own time. I held enough respect for myself to walk away when it wasn’t right. This allowed me to find the man who would be my third and final husband. We are a nice match. We fit well together. If I had tried to rush one of the earlier relationships into being something it was not meant to be, I would never have gotten to this place, where I have a beautiful partnership with a man who is perfect to me. 

Another good example of taking time over instant gratification is books. Are you a reader? Do you like to read novels? Have you ever read a novel and then gone to see the movie they made of it? Were you disappointed? I have found that when I see a movie after I have read the book, that I am often disappointed, because so much of the meat of the story has to be left out. Sure it is a quicker way to experience the story. A couple hours verses a couple days or more to get through the book. Depending on how much time you have to read each day. I just feel frustrated by the changes they have to make in the story, for it fit into the movie’s allowed time. 

Don’t get me wrong. I still really enjoy movies, just as I really enjoyed the green curry last night. I love the life I have lived and do not wish it to be anything but what was. I am grateful for those brief and quick relationships and what they had to teach me. But sometimes, just sometimes, we need to realize the gift that giving something some more time, can be. No, time does not heal all things, but time can allow changes within ourselves to be able to face what we could not face before. Just like my mother’s lasagna, which was always better on the second day, time makes life more flavorful. 

 

I love you. Thank you for reading my blog today. May your life be full of the ‘flavor’ that time allows to permeate all things, as if by magic!

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Week 6 check in – Daily Meditation Adventure

If you have not already joined our 90 day meditation adventure, I hope you will still do so. Here is how week number six went for me.

What I have learned:Because of the struggles I have had with calming my monkey mind to meditate, I have gone back to what I know best. I went back to Kundalini Yoga Meditation. This has been much more effective for me. I more easily get into a calm state. I have learned that when I feel anxious and have a lot on my plate, this is the meditation that works best for me. I think because it includes mantra and often movement. It gives the monkey mind something to focus on to keep it present and not off trying to plan the rest of my life. 

Experiences during the week:I found a nice deep sense of calm in the midst of the meditation. During one, I had visions of color swirling and clouds moving. This morning, I was feeling quite anxious. I needed to get my blog written, coordinate with family at home, find time to meditate and get to work on time. I was working feverishly to get it all done. Then I stopped and did my meditation. I chose one with the mantra “Ra Ma Da Sa Sa Say So Hung”. It had a very calming affect on me and allowed me to see that it will all get done in Divine Timing. This is a very healing mantra and pulls the energies of the Sun, Moon, Earth, and Universe into our bodies. It can be interpreted to mean “God is within me”. It is a nice way to find some morning calm and let some of the anxiety of everything on the “to do” list go. 

My weight: I forgot to weigh on Monday morning and I am in Nashville this week so the update on my weight will have to wait till next week. I do feel as if I am swollen, perhaps from the heat and humidity. My rings are tight on my fingers.

How I feel: My back pain is resolved. I found that the Kundalini Yoga Meditation was very helpful in controlling my back pain.Acupuncture resolved it totally. I feel a sense of calm after my Kundalini meditations that is not a typical part of my day. I feel more centered. 

How it is affecting my life:

You should sit in meditation for twenty minutes every day — unless you’re too busy. Then you should sit for an hour.” -Zen proverb.

 I have struggled to get once a day meditation in; so now I am working to increase it to twice a day meditation. This has helped me be more successful in making sure I get it in at least once a day. I find when I am home with family it is harder to make time for myself and I “poo poo” the importance of it. I need to recommit to me. I need to understand that it is not selfish for me to take 15 – 20 minutes twice a day to find my own inner calm. It allows me to be better with the world around me. 

I would love to hear your experiences with this. I hope you are having a more profound lift with shifting experiences. If you are snuggling a bit, like I am, it’s ok! Don’t give up! We’ll get there!

Thank you for reading my blog today. I wish you a lifetime of finding the calm amidst the storm.

Previous meditation blogs by the Adventure Sisters: Join Us on This AdventureMeditate the weight away?9 ways to improve meditation, Meditation contemplations, There’s an App for That: A review of meditation Apps7 Common Meditation Myths11 Types of Meditation 

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Dysfunctional relationship with time?

I have had a dysfunctional relationship that I am in the process of healing. It is with time. I have had this belief that there is never enough time. A friend once told me that time is the most precious commodity because you can not make more. That made a lot of sense to me at the time. I am now changing that belief. So many of us have this same constant battle with time. What new beliefs can we substitute? What could life be like if we flowed easily within the ethereal nature of time.

I have been a workaholic. Something needs to be getting done for me to find it a worthy use of my time. “There is not enough time”. “I am running late”. “Time is running out”. “Time flies”. “Don’t waste time”. How often do we say or hear these mantras and so many more. Living in a fast paced world can feel draining. It may even seem that it is speeding up. Think about the frequency with which we hear someone say how quickly the year/day/season has gone.

Let’s work together to start to shift these beliefs. “There is an abundance of time”. “Divine time will assist me to arrive exactly when I am supposed to”. “I flow freely within the flexible nature of time”. “I can slow time to meet my desires”. “Cherish this present moment”. When you feel tempted to use one of the old ingrained mantras, try substituting one of these and see how your world changes.

Imagine a world where time is flexible and it bends to our thoughts. We live in such a world. Time is not a constant. We have the power to slow time down. Try it the next time you are really enjoying yourself. Consciously say, “I am going to slow down time. I am going to cherish every moment. There is plenty of time”. How would this change your enjoyment of that event? Living in the present or the now, you would not be distracted by worry of everything else on your mental “to do” list. Divine time says that it flows fluidly. There is not lack. There is plenty. If you trust in the Divine timing you will find you arrive perfectly when you should. Time is never wasted. Things are experienced. It adds a whole new appreciation and ease to life.

Let’s heal this relationship. Let’s live consciously in the present knowing there is plenty of time. We flow freely within the ethereal nature of it. We have the power to adjust its flow to meet our desires. We can experience life and enjoy the natural flow.

Have you tried this? What have been your results? Do you have other technics you use?