Who Am I?

Recently I asked a group of friends for advice. The answer heard over and over again was to be myself. What does that mean? Who am I, really? When you think about yourself, do you know who you are? We have many different faces that we show the world. Is one of them truly you?

Eckhart Tolle would tell you that you are the watcher. The consciousness who sits behind your personality watching the story of your life play out. Are you aware of your observer? Do you notice the noticing? It is wild to think about? This is what meditation is supposed to help with. Some people get confused and think meditation is supposed to quiet the mind, but really what should happen is the noticing. Noticing the thoughts and allowing them. Don’t try and stop them or control them. If you try to do this you will just have more thoughts, about why you can’t stop your thoughts. Then you will notice that is also a thought and the cycle goes on. By just peacefully allowing the thoughts, with no judgement, you find quiet. If you are walking through a prairie of beautiful wild flowers, you allow the flowers, you do not make them wrong or right. Some may be more pleasing than others but you do not try and control them. You allow them to grow in their own perfect time and place. You are content to be the watcher, strolling through the field of flowers.

However, when someone tells you to be yourself, I do not think the silent observer is really who they mean. So where does that leave us? Did they mean I should be myself as I am with my daughters; a mother and nurturer? Do they think I should be the me I am when I am at work; driven and ambitious? Maybe I should be the me I am with my friends; happy and encouraging. Perhaps the me who is a spiritual teacher; guiding and confidant. Guess I should have ask them what they meant by being myself. Who I am when I am with my husband is different from who I am with my grandchildren or parents. They are all true versions of me but each role asks something different of me. My husband needs me to be his teammate and best friend. My parents need me to be someone who has grown up and made them proud. My grandchildren need me to be fun, loving, caring, and to help them explore and learn about the world. These are all true versions of myself. No one, is more true, than any other one.

So with the advise to be myself, where does that leave me? The watcher who sits quietly in the back of my mind or one of the other roles that I play in life? It is all of it. It is staying true to what intuitively feels right in the time and space I am in. To hold on to the parts of myself that sees the divine in all people. That believes only love can conquer fear and that fear is at the root of all negative emotions. This is who I am at a soul level.

Nameste my friends! The Divine in me sees the Divine in you. May your day be filled with peace and a sureness of who you are. I love you.

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