Not All Hero’s Wear Capes: A different perspective

My daughter recently sent me a series of cartoons that depicted an abusive relationship. The artist who created them, was not someone I was familiar with. Her name is Polly Nor. The series of drawings shows an abusive relationship and all of the garbage that so often is a part of that unhealthy dynamic, including affairs, trying to get out, and blaming the victim. They are some very powerful images.

The series shows a progression. There is one image where the woman believes she has found a way out. In the next image the abuser becomes suspicious of what she is doing and her attempts to escape are foiled. Then there is an image titled “Not All Hero’s Wear Capes”. In this image another woman is having an affair with the abuser allowing the other woman to escape. This image really got me thinking.

I have been in abusive relationships, both physical and emotional. How does it change things if we look back at those who where the extra person, who had an affair with one of the people in the relationship and caused that relationship to fail? If we look at that person’s role, on a spiritual level, they may have indeed been a hero. A divine being who came down to cause a distraction to enable our escape from an unhealthy relationship.

The Lovers Tarot Card often depicts 3 people. The reason for this is because a choice must be made. It often represents a love triangle. When you look at the scenario we are discussing, you can see how this love triangle may be a blessing in disguise. We spend a lot of time being terribly angry at those people who get involved with our partners. We often blame them for the break up of the relationships, but it changes things when we look at it in this way.

Polly Nor’s work is powerful. I did not see the image I am speaking of on her website but I did see it on her instagram. I appreciate her powerful work which me this different perspective. I send love to all those divine souls who come in to help break the cycle of abuse, when we feel so horribly stuck and fail to get out on our own.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you. May you find it in yourself to be your own hero, as if by magic.

*Photo taken in Tigard, OR

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Recent Retreat Experiences

I recently shared that Adventure Sisters, Emy and I, were going on a private retreat of our own making. I would like to share some of my experiences and insights from this with you. As it turned out, it was all about finding the Joy. That we not only hold in our heart, but are.

We had a schedule, we had a plan, we shopped for groceries, and prepared our space. We were excited to be together, to be in Florida and out of the snow and extreme cold. We even both expressed a bit of anxiety about the upcoming long period of silence.

As I have expressed in previous blogs; Emy and I have our sun signs across from each other in the zodiac. We often have very different perceptions about things, other times it is like we are of one mind, anticipating what the other is thinking before she even says it. The retreat was full of such dualities. What I needed, was not always what Emy needed and vise versa. When these things came up though, we navigated them with ease and love. We accepted the other for what she needed or her perspective. We allowed and loved our differences.

Silence was broken after only about 17.5 hours. We decided eating our breakfast in the morning sun would be lovely. A couple of our neighbors in the marina came over and chatted with us. We broke silence to avoid rudeness and heard some very interesting tales from neighbor retirees. Their experiences and perspectives gave us even more to reflect on and we decided that our continued silence was not really necessary.

We allowed the wind to blow us where it might. We floated without resistance on the marina waters. We took liberties with the schedule; doing the various activities as we felt called to. We had so many “ah ha” moments. Like pausing the video to discuss a concept that was lay out before us.

One of my favorite take homes, from the retreat, was the message to live in Joy! For this, Emy and I picked a symbol. Every time we see that symbol it is a reminder to be in the joy of the moment. We have been seeing it everywhere and sharing it with each other. I would encourage you to pick your own symbol to remind you to see the Joy in the present moment.

Being back in the everyday world now has been a call to be more mindful of Joy, regardless of what is happening around us. It was easy to remain joyful during the retreat. We were focused on self development and growth. We were mostly out of touch with the outside world and it’s issues. We were together. Enjoying sharing and experiencing all that was there for us, in the richness of the retreat.

The Nabhi Kriya yoga set we did, so moved us, that we have even decided to take on a 40 day practice of it. I had been feeling called to this prior to the retreat. In fact, the teachers manual, with the Kriya’s pages marked, is sitting on my bedside table at home. Patiently waiting for me to hear the call and take it on an adventure. Please feel free to join us. In the Kundalini Yoga tradition of: you miss a day you start over on day 1. Be committed to you! Remember to modify the exercises to keep yourself safe and visualize yourself doing the movements as instructed. Because the brain doesn’t know the difference between actual or powerful visualization.

Overall the retreat was lovely and joyous! It was just not what we originally expected or planned but so much more.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you! May you find life offering you experiences, which are so much more, as if by magic.

*Photo was taken in Cassadaga, FL

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11 Birdseye Persecutive Observations

I am on an airplane twice a week, almost every week. The world looks different from my window view. This birds eye view of the world below allows my perspective to shift. Here are a few of my realizations that have become evident to me from this view.

1. We are all connected. Cities flow into countryside, which flows into small communities and back into cities. There is no separation, just a flow to it. Recognize that we are all connected.

2. A winding path is a beautiful path. As rivers and stream meander through the landscape they create an interesting type of beauty, which is in contrast to the square grids of city streets and the fields they pass through. Allow your path to take its own course.

3. It is all beautiful given the right view. Mountains, canyons, plains, cities, and forests all hold their own unique beauty. Embrace your unique beauty even if your perspective doesn’t make it obvious to you.

4. Sometimes really great stuff is hidden. The clouds often obstruct any view of the ground. They are beautiful in and of themselves but dipping below them can show a whole new layer of interest. Remember that there is more to people that what they show you or the world.

5. We have one Mother Earth. We cling to her and she supports and gives life to us. We dot her surface and enjoying the bounty she provides us. We must take care of her, because without her, we are only dust.

6. Things in the distance are hazy. Things far out along our path have a haze over them that makes them difficult to see clearly. When others’ perspectives are far from our own, we may not see clearly what they are seeing. Allow others to have a different perspective.

7. Sometimes the path is bumpy for no obvious reason. When flying, clouds can be bumpy, but sometimes turbulence comes out of nowhere and we can not predict it. This happens in our lives to. Buckle up and enjoy the ride! The bumps will eventually pass.

8. The horizon is always in the distance. There is always a destination beyond this one. Once we arrive at one goal there are still many more journeys to take. Keep going; your destination is not the end.

9. The sun is always shining. Even on cloudy days, once the airplane rises above the clouds, the sun shines bright and strong. There is always things to be grateful for in life, even when it seems all is dim and drab.

10. If you don’t look, you won’t see. Often I get so focused on work while on the plane that I don’t think to look out the window. I have looked up from my work to see miraculous views. Look for the beauty!

11. The magnificence of this planet should not be taken for granted. Volcanic mountains rise above the clouds, meandering canyons carved by mere water, the sunset along the coast of Florida, rainbows and shadows on the clouds. I cannot predict what awesome views might grace my trip nor can I expect that all I will see is beautiful clouds, but I expect to be amazed somehow, always!

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you. May a new perspective help improve you outlook and life, as if by magic.

*Photo was taken some where between St. Paul and St. Louis (the cities, not the people).

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What Does Finger Pointing, Mirrors, and Soup Have in Common?

In a recent speech given at my Toastmasters group, the speaker mentioned when you point your finger the other 4 fingers are pointing back at you. Can you admit when you are wrong? Can you back up from a situational order to truly see the part you played in it?

Sometimes when we are emotionally invested in a situation we cannot open our awareness to our role in that situation. I have a wise friend who refers to it as being in the soup. I like this analogy. It makes sense that when you are looking down into the bowl from the outside, you can see what is a carrot and what is a potato. When you are in the soup though, the broth obscures everything and it is harder to discern what is really around you.

This morning I heard a story about a mother, who in her heart of hearts wants to protect her son. She wrote email to the school complaining about the “bullying” that was occurring and how her son was a victim of it. Apparently, what her son did not share with her was that he was doing the same behavior to his friends. So, when we are outside of the soup and look at this behavior, we see that if he was being bullied he was also bullying. How could this backfire for this child? His mother’s best intentions could cause him to also suffer the consequences the school has for bullies. What he and his friends see as horseplay could have serious ramifications for all of them. Think about how this might apply to our own life. Are there situations where we complain about others doing things that we do as well at times?

There is a concept that others are mirrors for us. That those traits we notice in others, that really upset us, are actually things we need to work on personally. Does it annoy you when someone dominates the conversation, only talks about themselves, drives aggressively, is very negative, makes irresponsible decisions, drinks too much or whatever it is? Think about your interactions with others. Try and do it in a nonjudgmental and accepting way. See if you may also be doing this same behavior. Perhaps that person who annoys you is a mirror for you. Perhaps this is a gift to you to help give you some awareness of yourself and your actions. Do not use this as an opportunity to beat yourself up or judge yourself poorly. Rather, use it as an opportunity to move forward and become a little more tolerant and a little more the person you hope to be.

Remember when you are in the soup and upset about something, step back, take a look around you and see what is really going on. When you are pointing the finger at others, keep note of how many are pointing back at you.

Thank you for reading my blog today. May your life be full of wisdom to see situations from many different angles. I love you.

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