Control is an Illusion

I come from a line of strong women. Really strong women. My father even calls us formidable. As far as I can tell it started with my great grandmother and has been passed down all the way to my granddaughters, with no signs of stopping. One of the traits we possess is that we like to control the world around us. That certainly seems like a strength, doesn’t it? However, control is just an illusion.

We may think we can control other people but we really cannot. We can influence them but they have free will and get to make their own decisions and choices. You may be thinking, “but I do control so and so”. I am here to tell you that you do not. That person has allowed you the illusion of control. They could break the bonds of that perceived control at anytime and choose something completely different. If you are the person who is being controlled. It is an illusion. One that you have allowed through your free will. You do have a choice. You can walk away, do something different, or change the dynamic.

Many people become planners as a way to control the world around them. They feel, if they can plan for every eventual outcome, then they will have some control over the future. Same for old age; plan their vacations months ahead of time or have their week(s) strictly mapped out. These are all great things to do, if they give you peace. Planning is a very feminine trait and helps us feel secure in our world. However, it does not give us control. Random change can flow in at anytime and upset the apple cart. At anytime, all of that planning can be turned upside down.

I will tell you the one thing we do have control over. We have control over how we react to the randomness of life. How we react to how others treat us is ‘our’ choice. We cannot control what happens to us but only how we respond. Unexpected bills, canceled plans, extra work, drop in company, lost luggage, weather, and so many more things can come swooping in to show us how much we do not control the world around us. How we deal with it though,  paints our future. When this happens can you go forward with a song in your heart? Can you be flexible and change what you were planning? I am here to tell you can. Look for the silver lining and smile in the face of adversity.

I believe we manifest our futures through our words, thoughts, and deeds. So doesn’t that mean we control the world around us. No, we still do not get to determine ‘how’ our wishes manifest. In fact, the more we try to control how those things are manifested the harder the manifestation process. As Mike Dooley says, “Do not micromanage the Universes”. It is up to the Universe/God to determine how your dreams will be fulfilled. It is up to ‘you’ to dream the dream. Keep your vibration high. Remain open to the infinite possible ways your dream ‘can’ come true.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you! May you safely drop the illusion of control and live at peace with the world around you, as if by magic.

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Protect Me, Open My Heart

“Protect me, open my heart and I will be free.” This is the refrain from a pretty Kundalini Yoga song called “Aad Guray”: by Nirinjan Kaur. I absolutely love this phrase! It says so much to me. This song pops up as the first song in my iTunes account and I sing loudly and poorly with the refrain every time.

The idea of opening our hearts to others can be so scary. So starting this by first asking for protection, to open the heart, is brilliant. Protect me, keep me safe, while I open my heart and share my love with everyone. Such a vulnerable thing to do. I feel like the idea of opening my heart while being protected really is the definition of freedom. I can love everyone then. I can love that person who hurt me. I can love the person who may not be a safe bet to love. I can love the difficult person. I can love strangers.

Understand I do not think all this free sharing of love, means we put up with abuse. It is okay to love someone from afar. It is okay to send love to someone without getting mixed up in the drama of their life. I find that to truly protect myself, this is sometimes necessary. I also have learned that sending love to someone who has hurt me or someone I love, is often the best way to change the situation. It seems like; once I open up my heart and send love (from afar) the situation seems to defuse. When I hold fear, anger or even hate in my heart; my negative feelings are rewarded with negative events.

When we know we are protected, we free safe. When we feel safe, we are more likely to to be able to send love to those who bump up against our lives. Is asking for protection enough? I personally like to enhance the, asking for protection, with some “setting the intention of protection” and visualizing a white light around my heart. The white light is the Divine Energy of Pure Love. It is all around. Pull that energy around your heart and use it to create a force field to allow the love out but no hurt in.

I challenge you to open your heart, surrounded by protection and set yourself free. Let us know what experiences you have had with this in the past and as you step into the future and try it anew.

Thank you for reading my blog today. May you feel free to love safely, as if by magic.

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7 Tips to Remain Optimistic When Stressed.

Stress is a part of all of our lives! Here are some simple things you can do to help remain optimistic even when stressed. It may not always be easy, but a shift in focus, will certainly not hurt.

1.      Live in the NOW! – When you live in the ‘now” you are not worrying about what is coming (what is past) or how to make it be okay.

2.      Count you Blessings – Looking at all the positive things (happening) in our life, helps us not stress over the things that are making us feel stressed.

3.      Remember you are safe – Everything happens for the reason but even those things, that we do not want to happen, often teach us and help us grow.

4.      Paint a picture of what you want – Keep your thoughts on the outcome you want, rather than the outcome you do not want.

5.      Don’t forget to breath – All too often, when we are stressed, we either hold our breath or breath into our shoulders.  Taking some deep belly breathes helps provide a calming effect.

6.      Remember that failure is just a chance to start over – Some people think it is the end of the world but this is not true. It is a chance to start over and try again. By recognizing that failure makes success sweeter, perhaps will make it less scary for you. You now know what “didn’t work”, that will help you move towards the way that does.

7.      The sun will come out tomorrow – Like the song from the musical “Annie” says, the sun will come out, tomorrow is a new day, and good things are just around the bend. Even when we can’t see the sun, it is still there.

It is not always easy to remain optimistic when stressed or when (crazy) things are going on. It will, without a doubt, improve your outcome however. Whenever possible try and keep your thoughts positive and look to a brighter future. It is coming for you.

Thank you for reading my blog today! May your future be filled with sunshine and happy outcomes, as if by magic.

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What is Given, Must Be Given Away Again

In our culture, re-gifting can sometimes be looked on as rude. We tend to believe that we must cling to things. If we like something, we think we must possess it. I notice it when I see a type of tree I like, I wish it was in my yard, so I could “own” it. Why is it that we feel we must possess the things we appreciate?

I heard a story, several months ago, about a Native American Peace Pipe. What I heard was how one tribal leader would give it to another. That the pipe was not something to be possessed or even owned. It was to be given away again. So in this way the Peace Pipe was passed around and never really “belonged” to anyone. When the Europeans came the Indigenous people shared the Peace Pipe, in this same way with them, but were perplex when these newcomers kept the Pipe and did not pass it on or return it to the tribal leaders.

This story really made me think about many things in my life. I know I am a spiritual being and not of this world, but rather journeying through it. I know the “things” I possess now I cannot take with me when I leave. So why do I cling to “things”. What is it that makes me feel “safe” because I have stuff. Recently someone shared with me a method of cleaning things out that stems from a Japanese tradition. It is called KonMari and has to do with hold an item to you and if it gives you Joy, you keep it and if it does not, you get rid of it. I love the idea of this. Why would we keep something that doesn’t give us joy? As the co-author of a book called Lessons Through Joy, I have a fondness for Joy in my life.

I recently made a choice to step away from something in my life and part of the decision around this was related to baggage. When you go somewhere, how much stuff do you bring with you? Do you cling to material things to make you feel safe? I do this! When I travel I bring so much with me that my bags are heavy. Is all of this outer baggage really just a physical manifestation of the inner baggage? What would it take for you to feel safe enough to set down some of the bags? I am making an effort in my life to release some baggage, to feel safe and to appreciate something without needing to possess it.

I intend to voyage through the second half of my life a little lighter. Know that if I see something beautiful today, I can appreciate it in the “now” and not need to keep it forever. Instead, I can pass it on to others to appreciate. I can share freely, knowing I am safe and that I have all I need.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I wish you a lifetime of feeling safe, as if by magic. I love you.

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