Control is an Illusion

I come from a line of strong women. Really strong women. My father even calls us formidable. As far as I can tell it started with my great grandmother and has been passed down all the way to my granddaughters, with no signs of stopping. One of the traits we possess is that we like to control the world around us. That certainly seems like a strength, doesn’t it? However, control is just an illusion.

We may think we can control other people but we really cannot. We can influence them but they have free will and get to make their own decisions and choices. You may be thinking, “but I do control so and so”. I am here to tell you that you do not. That person has allowed you the illusion of control. They could break the bonds of that perceived control at anytime and choose something completely different. If you are the person who is being controlled. It is an illusion. One that you have allowed through your free will. You do have a choice. You can walk away, do something different, or change the dynamic.

Many people become planners as a way to control the world around them. They feel, if they can plan for every eventual outcome, then they will have some control over the future. Same for old age; plan their vacations months ahead of time or have their week(s) strictly mapped out. These are all great things to do, if they give you peace. Planning is a very feminine trait and helps us feel secure in our world. However, it does not give us control. Random change can flow in at anytime and upset the apple cart. At anytime, all of that planning can be turned upside down.

I will tell you the one thing we do have control over. We have control over how we react to the randomness of life. How we react to how others treat us is ‘our’ choice. We cannot control what happens to us but only how we respond. Unexpected bills, canceled plans, extra work, drop in company, lost luggage, weather, and so many more things can come swooping in to show us how much we do not control the world around us. How we deal with it though,  paints our future. When this happens can you go forward with a song in your heart? Can you be flexible and change what you were planning? I am here to tell you can. Look for the silver lining and smile in the face of adversity.

I believe we manifest our futures through our words, thoughts, and deeds. So doesn’t that mean we control the world around us. No, we still do not get to determine ‘how’ our wishes manifest. In fact, the more we try to control how those things are manifested the harder the manifestation process. As Mike Dooley says, “Do not micromanage the Universes”. It is up to the Universe/God to determine how your dreams will be fulfilled. It is up to ‘you’ to dream the dream. Keep your vibration high. Remain open to the infinite possible ways your dream ‘can’ come true.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you! May you safely drop the illusion of control and live at peace with the world around you, as if by magic.

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2 thoughts on “Control is an Illusion

  1. Thank you for sharing Stacy. I so needed to hear this message this morning! I actually was talking to a friend about it last night. I feel so helpless because I can’t control or really even help with what’s going on with the people around me. I used to have the locus of control diagram hanging up in my office as a visual reminder maybe I need to pull that out again. I’ve also been reminding myself is that if I am able to “control” someone they aren’t given the room to learn their lessons that they have agreed upon and neither have I if I’m so focused on someone else.


    1. So much wisdom Dawn! Thank you for sharing! The Locus of Control is a new concept to me. I looked it up just now. Very interesting, I think I will do some more study about that. Thank you for being a teacher.
      It can feel frustrating when we can not help those around us. Especially those we love and care for. Stepping back and letting them have their experiences can be difficult. Only being there for emotional support and sharing wisdom can feel like we have abandoned them. Especially when the ‘advice’ we give is not heard or does not resonate with them.
      Congratulations for understanding that you can hold the space for someone going through difficulties without fixing it for them. That in itself is a huge lesson to learn.

      Liked by 1 person

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