Today is Day 1 of 21!… (again); Twenty-One Plus Helpful Tips

Did you join me on the 21 days without complaining adventure? Are you wondering how I am doing because I am interested in knowing how you are doing? I have made it to day 2 about 3 times. I was a few hours from day 3 when I fell back into my old habits and complained. This is way more challenging than I expected it to be. It leaves me to wonder what steps can I take to get beyond today and how to start a habit to only talk about the bright side of life.

Well, since there are 21 days to get past, let’s come up with 21 tips (or more) to help us move past the old habits of habitually complaining. (This is my fourth blog on this adventure. The links above will take you to the previous blogs). I am currently re-reading Will’s Bowen’s book to refocus my efforts. Below are several ideas to help us all move forward to success. Many of these ideas have come from Will’s book, A Complaint Free World.

  1. Stop making excuses for why complaining is okay or justified.
  2. Look for the positive in all situations.
  3. Embrace silence.
  4. Don’t give up, just change your bracelet and start again.
  5. Have faith – you can do this!
  6. Practice mindfulness.
  7. Pause before speaking.
  8. See the joy in all situations.
  9. Laugh as much as possible.
  10. Read Will Bowen’s book or read it again.
  11. Start the day with a positive thought to set the energy for the day.
  12. Remember why you started on this adventure in the first place.
  13. Forgive yourself if you slip and start again with new resolve.
  14. Think about the four gates of communication from the Sufi tradition. (Is it truthful? Is it necessary? Is now the time for it? Is it Kind?)
  15. Remove yourself from negative situations and people. (when possible)
  16. Find friends and family to support you.
  17. Talk about ideas and concepts instead of other people.
  18. Bear in mind, what you think about you bring about.
  19. Keep in mind, Will’s wise words; “Those who hurt are hurting.”
  20. Look for positive ways to connect with people.
  21. It is healthier to stay positive. Per Will’s book, according to doctors, 67% of illnesses are caused by our thoughts. Per Louis L. Hay; 100% are.
  22. Keep in mind that the things we dislike in others, are often traits we also have.
  23. Realize that complaining does not fix anything.
  24. Complaining about the past only holds you there, so talk about what you want to manifest.
  25. Instead of complaining say, “I am not going to move my bracelet.”

Good luck on your challenge. Please share in the comment section; how you are doing and what things you have found helpful in moving you along on your complaint free adventure.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you. May your thoughts and words be positive, as if by magic!

*Photo taken somewhere over Kentucky, USA

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11 Birdseye Persecutive Observations

I am on an airplane twice a week, almost every week. The world looks different from my window view. This birds eye view of the world below allows my perspective to shift. Here are a few of my realizations that have become evident to me from this view.

1. We are all connected. Cities flow into countryside, which flows into small communities and back into cities. There is no separation, just a flow to it. Recognize that we are all connected.

2. A winding path is a beautiful path. As rivers and stream meander through the landscape they create an interesting type of beauty, which is in contrast to the square grids of city streets and the fields they pass through. Allow your path to take its own course.

3. It is all beautiful given the right view. Mountains, canyons, plains, cities, and forests all hold their own unique beauty. Embrace your unique beauty even if your perspective doesn’t make it obvious to you.

4. Sometimes really great stuff is hidden. The clouds often obstruct any view of the ground. They are beautiful in and of themselves but dipping below them can show a whole new layer of interest. Remember that there is more to people that what they show you or the world.

5. We have one Mother Earth. We cling to her and she supports and gives life to us. We dot her surface and enjoying the bounty she provides us. We must take care of her, because without her, we are only dust.

6. Things in the distance are hazy. Things far out along our path have a haze over them that makes them difficult to see clearly. When others’ perspectives are far from our own, we may not see clearly what they are seeing. Allow others to have a different perspective.

7. Sometimes the path is bumpy for no obvious reason. When flying, clouds can be bumpy, but sometimes turbulence comes out of nowhere and we can not predict it. This happens in our lives to. Buckle up and enjoy the ride! The bumps will eventually pass.

8. The horizon is always in the distance. There is always a destination beyond this one. Once we arrive at one goal there are still many more journeys to take. Keep going; your destination is not the end.

9. The sun is always shining. Even on cloudy days, once the airplane rises above the clouds, the sun shines bright and strong. There is always things to be grateful for in life, even when it seems all is dim and drab.

10. If you don’t look, you won’t see. Often I get so focused on work while on the plane that I don’t think to look out the window. I have looked up from my work to see miraculous views. Look for the beauty!

11. The magnificence of this planet should not be taken for granted. Volcanic mountains rise above the clouds, meandering canyons carved by mere water, the sunset along the coast of Florida, rainbows and shadows on the clouds. I cannot predict what awesome views might grace my trip nor can I expect that all I will see is beautiful clouds, but I expect to be amazed somehow, always!

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you. May a new perspective help improve you outlook and life, as if by magic.

*Photo was taken some where between St. Paul and St. Louis (the cities, not the people).

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Are You Following Your Dreams? 7 Steps to Make Them a Reality.

I recently finished reading The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. This is a book about a boy who has a reoccurring dream, so he sets off to follow his dream to his destiny. The book tells us that the Universe conspires to give use what we are wanting and striving for.

“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”
~Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

So what are your dreams? Do you know what you want? What are you doing to move in that direction? Do you notice signs, see synchronicities, or feel a ‘knowing’ that you are meant to achieve this objective? I dream to be a published author. I am already a writer and I write all the time. Emy and I have 3 books under our belts and hundreds of blogs. We have not received our publishing deal yet, but it is coming. It is our destiny. Right now we continue to move in the direction of our dreams.

Deepak Chopra says that our lives move forward through our desires. Desires are good things. They give us a goal. Sometimes desires are distractions. Shiny bobbles that look nice and cause us to believe that they will make us happy. Even when our desires may not be a part of our destiny, they are still a goal that keeps us reaching for something. Reaching for things is like exercising, the more we do it, the better we get at achieving those goals. It gives us practice at setting goals and the confidence that we can achieve them.

Here are some steps you can take to help make your dreams a reality.

  1. Know what you want – So many of us do not even have a firm sense of what we want. You cannot run a race if you do not know where the finish line is. Spend some time meditating on what it is that you ‘really really’ want.
  2. Set your goal – Often, even when we know what we want, we do not set a firm goal. Write it down or place it firmly in your mind. “My goal is to achieve this”.
  3. Do some research – Next we need to know what we need to do in order to achieve that goal. So spend some time learning how others have achieved it or a similar goal. Find out what it takes and the steps that can help you reach this goal.
  4. Put action steps in place – Make a list of the things you will do (objectives) to achieve your goal. You may even want to put dates on when you will do these various steps. This keeps you from getting distracted and suddenly it has been years since you moved towards the desired outcome.
  5. Do it – Take action and keep moving forward. The Universe loves action. Whether it is taking a class, attending a seminar, doing the research, talking to people who have done it before, or some other action step that gets you a little closer to your goal. Work your plan!
  6. Never stop believing – Our thoughts become our reality. Believe that this is your destiny and you will achieve, what it is, that you are after. Make a vision board or album. See it as if you have already achieved what you want. You want it for a reason. Feel the feeling of success, as if it was already yours. If you need help with manifesting, here is a series of blogs I wrote on the subject.
  7. Achieve – You will get there. The Universe will help you. Follow your steps and believe that it is your destiny to achieve this goal. You can and will do this. I believe in you!

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you! May your dreams come true, as if by magic.

*Photo was taken in on Clearwater Beach, FL.

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Silliness is Always a Good Idea: 7+ Ways I Have Added it to My Life

Do you like to be silly? It can feel very vulnerable to be playful and silly but it can also feed your soul and support your inner child. Let’s face it, there is a little kid hidden deep inside all of us. Here are some examples of how I have added some more play to my life. Trust me, even if it feels awkward at first, before long you will be laughing and not giving a darn what others think when they see you being goofy.

1. A friend and I recently drove up Mt Baker in Washington State. Along the way there was a big silhouette of Sasquatch. I excitedly ran up to him to shake his hand. My friend was not there to judge me but did manage to grab a shot for Facebook. Perhaps the cars driving by thought my behavior was a bit odd, but what they think of me does not impact me in the least. It was fun and we had some much needed laughs.

2. I invited a friend over for supper and decided to make it a theme meal. We had an inner child party; complete with sticky alien party favors, corndogs, and dreamsickles for dessert. It was a fun way to spend time with a friend while letting our inner children play and feel nourished.

3. Yet another friend and I went to a theme park together. It was busy time of year, when there seemed to be more work than hours in the day. There were big tubes for the kids to crawl through, on, and over. We got down on our hands and knees and crawled around in the play area like children; giggling and released a lot of the stress that had built up.

4. We try to have a family dinner once a week. For a recent family dinner we decided to have a tea party, complete with crustless sandwiches and fancy china. The kids had a great time but so did the three grown men around the table. They sipped their tea, held their pinky out, and laughed big belly laughs. They were a great example to the teenaged boy and younger children at the table that it is okay to be vulnerable and yourself.

5. When going for a walk, if I happen across a child chalk hopscotch game on the side walk, I cannot pass by with out hop, skipping, and jumping my way through it. It’s just plain and simple, feels great to be a kid at heart.

6. When my kids were teenagers we lived in a small rural community. There was not a lot to do. One night we just decided to crank up the music and dance the night away in the basement. Dance is a wonderful way to release pent up energy and be as silly as you want too. Those around you may get a good laugh and you will have some disco disco fun!

7. When Emy and I go the the BWCA, we bring kid’s blowup tubes. We push them down around our middles like pink and blue tutus and float in the clean cool lakes. We chat and play in the water like carefree little girls. It feels great to be so free for a little while.

The amount of silliness you can allow into your life is only hampered by your imagination and bravery. Play Clue by candle light, wear something fun like a big floppy hat, pop silly poses with statues, go to the park and swing as high as you dare, finger paint, or anything else your imagination suggests. It is a great way to have fun, release stress, and get some great big belly laughs going.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you! May your life be filled with laughter, as if by magic!

*photo was taken at our kitchen table

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Negotiations With Myself; 10 Tactics to Stay the Course

It seems like the hardest negotiations I have to have are with myself. This realization came tonight while I was having a conversation with Adventure Sister, Emy. We are great at talking ourselves out of doing things, but talking ourselves into doing things is a whole nother story. What can we do to be successful in negotiations with ourselves?

I am a world champion justifier. If you are not good at justifying something let me take a swing at it. Maybe this gift is a part of my Susie Sunshine Personality, where I can find the good in anything. But like the grinch, it doesn’t matter if this is because my shoes are too tight or my head is not screwed on just right. Being able to justify my way out of everything down not help me embrace healthy habits. Right now I am busy justifying that I don’t need to get my 10,000 steps a day because it is cold outside.

I have negotiated things with others through out my life. Many of these negotiations have been quite successful. How can I use these techniques to negotiate healthy habits with myself?

1. Be firm and set the expectations. That inner couch potato will want to have it their own way. Having a firm line and setting the expectation with yourself will help when your mind starts making up excuses.

2. Have a prepared response. Since we are talking about negotiations with yourself, you probably have a pretty good idea what excuses you will come up with. Be prepared with reasons why these excuses are just not good enough to set your healthy habits aside

3. Keep the goal in mind. Having a clear picture of where you are heading makes it easier to stay the course. This is true no matter if the goal is weight, career, financial, romantic, or whatever.

4. Stay excited! Having a goal can be very exciting, especially when you see progress. Celebrate small successes along the way to help keep the excitement flowing.

5. Ask for a little bit more time. Your inner critic may try and tell you this isn’t working or that you aren’t benefitting from this initiative. Convince that inner critic to keep trying, just a little bit longer. A break through may be just around the corner.

6. Remind yourself that you are worth it. This is such an epidemic of people not feeling worthy. Remind yourself your are worthy have having what you are working toward. You are good enough, you are strong enough, and you deserve success.

7. Ask yourself for advise. When you start hearing the we don’t have to do this anymore voice in your head ask it what it needs to keep going. Sometime just acknowledging the voice will be enough to help you push on. Other times a little inner dialog about what inspiration is needed will give you the power to get over the hump.

8. Use logic. Remind yourself of all the good reasons why sticking with this will help you in the long run

9. Be aware of your emotions. Emotions can pop up when we least expect them. Especially when we are working toward a seemingly difficult goal. (Most goals are achievable with persistence). When those emotions pop up, acknowledge them. Do not try to minimize them. Once you have acknowledged them, allow them to move through you. Release them, do not hold onto them.

10. Push past objections. Sometimes there is no convincing the inner Negative Nelly. Sometimes you will just have to ignore that part of yourself and just keep going. You can do it!

Good luck winning those negotiations with yourself. I believe in you! You can achieve your goals and live the life of your dreams. Keep going.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you! May you effortlessly continue to move in the direction of you dreams, as if by magic.

*Photo was taken in Zagreb, Croatia

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Twin Flame Relationships

Have you ever heard of the idea of a Twin Flame? Many people romanticize this concept but there really is more ‘pain’ than ‘romance’ in most Twin flame experiences. It is a very different experience from meeting your soulmate.

Twin Flames; is the concept that your soul is split in two to go into this earthly plane to have very different experiences. From my understanding; Twin Flames are typically opposites in almost every way. (Opposite sex, passions, personality, demeanor, spirituality, politics, etc.) Although many people may meet their Twin Flame, very few of these relationships are successful. The differences are just too great. It brings to mind the song from the Disney Movie, Little Mermaid; “Poor Unfortunate Souls.” When this relationship is successful, it is likely a very old soul that has worked through many experiences in countless lifetimes.

Recently, I have seen several articles about relationships between Empaths and Narcissists. It struck me that the Narcissist is the anti-empath. They cannot empathize with others. Perhaps these are actually Twin Flame relationships. Twin Flames feel like Karmic relationships. Have you ever had a friend who is drawn to someone so opposite and bad for them, that it just doesn’t make any sense, but you can’t talk them into staying away? This very well maybe a Twin Flame. Despite all the pain, they go back again and again. They can even verbalize how bad the other is for them, but like a moth to the flame, they can’t stay away.

Because Twin Flames are a split of one soul, there is a feeling of completeness and of home that comes when the two are together. It makes it that much harder for them to breakaway from each other to live a healthier more balanced life.

Relationships are one of the biggest teachers we experience in this life, especially romantic ones. Nothing will put your “stuff” in your face, like a romantic relationship. Having a romantic relationship with a Twin Flame can feel predestine and still be the most painful thing you experience. There can be lots to learn and much growth, but it will likely take just as much healing, personal work, and self discovery to recover after the relationship.

So what are your thoughts? Do you agree with me that the Narcissists and the Empaths are drawn together because they are Twin Flames? Have you had a relationship with your Twin Flame? What was your experience like?

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you! May your life be filled with happy and healthy relationships, as if by magic.

*The featured photo on this blog was taken on The Little Mermaid Ride in Disney’s Magic Kingdom, Orlando FL.

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I Am Determined to Make 21 Days Complaint Free

I recently started off on a new adventure. I decided that I would take up Will Bowen on his challenge to go 21 days complaint free! I initially thought it would be easy. I thought I was a person who didn’t complain much at all. Sure, I knew I had my occasional rant about this or that, but surely I could just stop doing that and move easily through this adventure. Well friends, I am here to tell you it is really about the journey and not the destination. This adventure has taught me so much about myself and it has also taught me about the person I want to be.

I started on this adventure in early September. I have yet to go one day without complaining. The principles behind this, is to bring complaining to the front of our mind, so that we can make a conscious choice before we let the words flow out of our mouth. Thoughts do not count, only things we verbalize. My blog from September; Can You Go 21 Days in a Row Without Complaining?, will tell you more about it. I was shocked that I complained so much and could not get past day 1, so I bought his book and wrote a second blog. I found out that I was normal in my initial performance.

Today, as I write this, it is 7:30 am and I have already had to move my bracelet from one wrist to the other, (this is done when you complain to help increase your awareness). I realized today I need to change my focus a little. Instead of looking at the whole objective and feeling overwhelmed, I need to take it more bit by bit. I have already complained once today so perhaps my goal is to have no more than 3 complaints today. I sometimes do not notice my complaints until a while after the fact. I great bite sized goal, would be to be fully aware of my complaints as they happen. Last night, as I socialized with friends, I removed my bracelet fully intending to dive into one of my favorite complaints. In the end, I changed my mind and put the bracket back on without uttering that particular grievance.

I have noticed that, from September to now, I am better about staying on the positive side of a conversation. I am aware of when I need to move my bracelet more often. I am starting to learn when to keep my mouth shut. I am far from perfect but getting closer to being a better, more positive version of myself. If you are interested in improving yourself, I encourage you to jump on the band wagon. Remembering that what we put out in the world is what comes back to us and this is a great way to increase the abundance in our lives. Let’s replace our complaints with gratitude. Let’s be the best and most positive people we can be. Please join me on this adventure and let’s change the world by starting with ourselves.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you. May your life be full of gratitude, as if by magic.

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