Who Inspires You?

I was with a friend yesterday and she was talking about something her dad used to say. “A friend or a partner should make you a better person” ~ Don Ortmann. That struck me as some very wise advise. Do the people you surround yourself with make you a better person? Do you help your friends and lovers be better people?

We all touch other’s lives. Although no one can make us behave a certain way, we all have those friends who challenge us to be a better version of ourselves. These magical people inspire us, not by telling us how to be, but by just talking the talk and walking the walk. My husband is one such person. His kind and generous soul inspires me to be the best person that I can be. He never criticizes my behavior or says I need to step it up. He inspires me just by being himself. I am also blessed with other friends who, simply by living their lives, have inspired me to be and do better.

My elementary school had a secretary who had reinvented herself with the name, Henrietta Peach. She was a peach! This was back in the late 70’s and early 80’s. She would make copies for the teachers to use as worksheets in the classrooms. The “Ditto Machine” had a round drum where the original was placed. As the drum circled it would copy the content of the original, in purple, onto the waiting papers. As the drum circled it made a rhythmic “chuchunk, chuchunk” noise. Henrietta Peace would do deep knee bends to this, saying she was “exercising”. This woman would not have said she was a role model. She was just living her life and having fun at work. She played the organ in the balcony of the church. She climbed those stairs, often multiple times in one day, even into her 80’s when cancer was sucking the life out of her. She was an inspiration to others. She would sing out loud in the school office and even had a song just for me. Sometimes at the end of mass I would hear that song being played on the big church organ. A little secret sign between the two of us. When I left that school at the end of the 6th grade, I named her as the person I looked up to. I am sure I was not alone. Ethel Mohn aka Henrietta Peach, was an inspiration. Knowing her made me a better person. She taught me to have fun at work. She taught me to share my talents with others. She showed me how making a difference in the life of a child leaves a mark on this world that grows and grows. I am a better person for having known her.

Think about the people in your life. Who are the ones whose actions pull you up to better yourself? Do you think you do this for others in your life? I am sure in many ways you do. Perhaps you would be surprised to realize how your actions inspire those around you. Whether you realize it or not, people are looking to you to inspire them.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you! May you inspire others to be the best version of themselves, as if by magic.

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I Used To Think She Had To Like Me But I Was Wrong

I used to think it was important for her to like me, but then I finally realized that it is only important for me to like myself. We all struggle with acceptance from others. We are all concerned with being judged by others. We are all guilty of being on both sides of this. Worried about being judged and judging others. Wayne Dyer once said, “Their opinion of me is none of my business”.

Have you ever felt anxious about going to a gathering or meeting someone new, because you were worried how they might feel about you? Of course, we all have! Job interviews, big gatherings, first dates, or even joining a new group are all examples of this. Situations, where we are thrown together, with other people who we do not know or have not spent a lot of time with. It is easy to feel nervous and intimidated going into these events. By holding that light inside yourself and knowing that your are safe and perfect the way you are, can help reduce the stress and allow you to put your best foot forward.

Here is a little meditation you can do before entering into one of these environments to help you remember it is only your opinion of you that really matters.

Take a deep breath and feel where you body makes contact with the earth or any object that is supporting you. Just take a few minutes to feel that breath enter your body and flow down deep into your abdomen. Visualize a white light within yourself. That white light is your true nature. That white light is purity, love, divinity, and beauty. This exists within you. Feel its warmth spreading throughout every cell in your body. Know you are safe. Know that no-one and nothing can diminish this light inside of you. You are perfect just as you are. You are wonderfully and uniquely you. You are worthy of love and admiration. See this white light forming a force field around you. This force field will protect you from anyone’s judgement. Remember that you are worthy of love. Take a few more deep breaths and when you are ready, open your eyes.

This meditation can be done quickly wherever you are. If you need a minute to center before entering a gathering, just do some version of this. You can even record yourself saying this and listen to it prior to any situation where you might feel uneasy.

Remember that you are “right” just as you are. No judgement from another can cause this to change. No one’s opinion of how you should be, behave, dress, or look diminishes the beauty and divinity within you. Namaste my friends. Which means the Divine in me sees the Divine in you. Please see the Divine in yourself as well.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you. May you love and appreciate yourself, as if by magic.

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A Little Something to Reflect On

Before you speak, listen.

Before you write, think.

Before you spend, earn.

Before you invest, investigate.

Before you criticize, wait.

Before you pray, forgive.

Before you quit, try.

Before you retire, save.

Before you die, give.

~William Arthur Ward

I saw some version of this quote in a high school class room tonight. In a world where so much is available instantly, there are a lot of radical ideas in this quote. How many of these things do we just go through the motions of and do not even consider?

Before you speak, listen. This first line of the quote is so very profound. How often are we so busy telling everyone all the wonderful stuff that we know or have seen, that we never take the time to listen to what they have to share with us. Speaking without listening hinders learning. The people around us are full of interesting tidbits to share but if we are so busy talking and not listening, how can we learn from them?

Before you write, think. In a world where what we write, can be seen by others instantly, this is even more important. This goes for notes, emails, posts, and texts. So often, in the heat of a moment, we can hit the button and send words out into the world that we never really wanted there.

Before you spend, earn. Today credit cards are a way of life. They are a trap that I have fallen into over and over again. Living within your means is an important step to overall wellness. If you don’t have the cash, don’t do it. Taking a good hard look at “our” finances has taught us a lot about how to have a better overall financial health.

Before you criticize, wait. Judging someone is easy but not always accurate. Waiting will give the ‘other’ time to reveal themselves to you. You may learn the rest of the story which may change your viewpoint. That thing, that seemed worthy of you criticism, may turn out to have been a heroic and selfless act. It’s amazing what a little bit of time and distance from an event can teach us.

Before you quit, try. I can’t even count how many times people have said they are not going to try something because it won’t work out them anyway. They are assuming an outcome and quitting before they even get started.

Before you die, give. What does this one mean to you? What is the legacy you leave the world? How can you give? It may not be money or things that you are giving. It may be sharing information. Giving the gift of your time. So many wonderful organizations really need volunteers. Did you know hospices are required to have a certain percentage of volunteer hours? Children’s sports teams, pet rescues, shelters, community initiatives, and so many other groups would not be able to do the good work they do with out the gift of loving people’s time.

I felt like the words in this quote have so much to say to us as autumn turns to winter. Winter is a perfect time to reflect, learn, and grow. How can you better embrace these principles in your life? How can reflecting on these lines help you be the best version of yourself?

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you! May your mark on the world send ripples of hope to every corner, as if by magic.

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Choices and Consequences

I remember when I was in college and a bunch of us were sitting around discussing what people in college discuss, totally random stuff. The question came up to name something we believe in. One of my friends answered without hesitation. “Consequences!” She said. That caused a lot of puzzled looks around the table. Now, a quarter of a century later, I totally get what she meant.

Life is full of choices. People talk about making the “right” choice, but how do we define that? Sometimes there is clearly a better choice but not always. Here is the thing, all choices have consequences. Some of the consequences may be positive and some will be negative. There is this duality in all things, like yin and yang. Let’s think about a couple of examples.

There is a project you need to get done for work or school. You plan to work on it this evening. When evening rolls around, your buddy calls and wants you to spend time doing something way more awesome than working on the project. You have a choice to make. If you work on the project the consequences may be:

It gets done.
You do a great job because you had uninterrupted time and could focus.
Your buddy eventually stops calling because you are always busy.
With the project done you have less stress, so the next time you hang out, you have way more fun.
Your buddy totally understands and thanks you, because he gots something done on their to do list as well.
You learn a valuable lesson.

Now let’s say you go hang out instead:

You have fun.
You are stressed because you know the project is still not done.
You get less sleep in order to stay up and finish it.
You don’t complete it on time or correctly and this gets you in “trouble”.
Your buddy and you reach a new level of connection in your friendship.
You learn a valuable lesson.

It is easy to see how both options have pros and cons and of course you could make other choices. Like splitting the time between the friend and the project or having the friend work with you on the project, depending on what it is.

This scenario, as with all the things that we have to make decisions on in life, has no “right” or “wrong” answer. No matter what you choose there will be consequences, both positive and negative in nature.

I encourage you to think about the possible consequences when making decisions but do not labor over them for too long. There is so much of the future that we cannot know. It is impossible to truly predict how things will turn out. Trust your gut. Rely on your intuition. If you can quiet your mind a bit, you will know which direction you are being pulled in. It will be the choice that has more peace and less stress associated with it.

Pay attention to which way your intuition is pulling you and visualize what the consequences are for those choices. This will help you to learn to trust your intuition and get better at making decisions, peacefully.

Thank you for reading my blog today! May your lifetime be filled with happy consequences and easy choices, as if by magic.

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Hope For the Future

Today, I had an amazing opportunity. I got to go and talk with a bunch of high school kids about Reiki energy healing and the Chakra system. I was so impressed that high schools are starting to teach alternative healing classes. What a gift for these amazing young people to get a taste that there are other options out there other than just a pill to help you when you are not feeling well.

The 22 students I met with were warm and engaging. They asked great questions and participated with all of the activities we tried. They were open but questioning. I really appreciated that they did not just take it as fact but rather asked smart questions. They thought about the principles that were being taught and then, very respectfully challenged, what was being told to them. I also appreciated their wise teacher who allowed the topic to adapt in order to address their questions. How I wish I could have spent more time with them.

When I first started my holistic healing practice people didn’t really “get it”. They really didn’t understand about our body’s innate ability to heal itself. They couldn’t understand how I might have been able to help them. They flocked to the massage therapists, but they just couldn’t really picture what I would do for them. When I think about it, why would they. most people back then had not experienced holistic healing. They couldn’t understand how armed with a gong, a deck of tarot cards, and a fist full of certifications, I could truly help them out. But I could see it. I could see how I would be able to do an assessment, find the underlying emotion or cause of their health concern and work on that, instead of masking it with medications.

If I would have had more time with this dynamic group, of soon to be adults, I would have loved to teach them so many more things. I would have taught them about the underlying issues (often emotional) that sit just beneath the surface, causing other things to pop up in our health. I would have taught them about the gift of forgiveness and how it can free you more than the person you are forgiving. I would have taught them that they are enough; that we all have special gifts and talents. Which are usually not the same. I would have taught them some simple energy healing techniques. I could go on and on there is so much they could learn. In the future I hope to be invited to do other events like this with teens. These bright young people are our future and they give me so much hope.

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You Are Beautiful! Yes You!

I hear so many commercials on the radio and then see them in magazines for various ways to become beautiful. This magical weight loss pill or that amazing muscle building goo. Cool sculpting (I will be honest, I have no idea what that is or how it works) and laser hair removal. Why is it these types of products and services are so plentiful? Because we don’t feel like we’re good enough and those products cater to that. We are trying to win the favor of others and ourselves by how we look. I know that when my hair looks just right and I have on a snazzy outfit, I feel at the top of my game. But this is not what I am talking about. I am talking about how we try to change ourselves physically to feel better about ourselves.

I want you to know that you are beautiful just the way you are. You are! Beauty comes from the inside. I do not care if you have a scar on your face, a few extra pounds , or a unibrow. You are beautiful. Your radiance comes from inside. It has nothing to do with your outward appearance.

I can understand how easy it is to believe that loosing weight will make you feel happy. I was there once. I had gastric bypass surgery and lost over 100 pounds. I thought this would solve all my problems. It didn’t. I had to dig deep inside of myself and find the truth about me. That I am valuable as a person. That my beauty comes from the divine light that radiates from inside of me. That loosing weight or another outward change would not make me any better of a person.

If you “fix” whatever it is you think is “wrong” with you, you will still feel the same about yourself. It won’t magically fix what is hurting inside of you. My recommendation to you is to work on healing that pain inside you. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you love you! (I know it feels and sounds funny – but it is worth it). Make a list about all of the things you really love about yourself. They can be physical but should also include your character as a person. If there are things in your character that you do not like, work to change those. For example, I am on an adventure to stop complaining. It is a part of myself that could use a tune up. Other parts of your personality may not need to be changed but rather reframed. You just need to look at them in a different way. For example, many people might say I am pushy and bossy but I have come to understand this as being assertive and driven. I now love this aspect of myself.

Yes, I still diet. I am not, however, doing it because I think it will make me a better person or that people will like me more because of it. I am doing it because it is healthier for my body. Staying within a certain weight ensures that I can do the things I love to do, like kayaking, traveling, and riding roller coasters. Also having an awareness to when I eat and what I am eating, helps me tune into if I am eating to cover up some emotion that I do not want to deal with. It allows me to process that emotion rather than burying it under a pile of candy bar wrappers.

I really want you to understand that you are beautiful. You are worthy of a magical and joyous life. You are enough just the way you are. You are capable of greatness. It matters not what you look like. Be proud of who you are. Embrace yourself and know that you deserve the best that life has to offer. If you feel the need to work on something, do so, but do it for the right reason and in the right way. Because you are beautiful, exactly as you are.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you! May you see your beauty as I see it, as if by magic.

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The Power of Feeling Heard

Have you ever felt frustrated because you were trying to express yourself and no one would listen? Maybe it was something close to your heart and you just didn’t feel safe to share it. Have you experienced trying to share something and the other person just wants to tell you what you should do and give you advice that makes you feel invalidated. It can be so frustrating when you do not feel heard. There is truly a power, in those times, when someone really listens and you can fully let your soul express itself.

When I read tarot cards publicly, I have often found that the most powerful part of the whole process is not anything to do with the cards. It has to do with the person on the other side of the table feeling heard. I have had people break into tears because they were able to tell me something they had never shared with another person. I have seen the stress melt away from the person’s face and their shoulders relax as I truly listened to what they had to say. As I heard them, and did not judge them, they felt safe and validated. It is truly a gift you can give to another person.

I was with an amazing group of dynamic woman the other day. They were all sharing how, in their various ways, they shared healing with the world. It did not matter what their careers were. Over and over again I witnessed them expressing they same thing. They listened to people. They let them be who they were and kindly heard what that other was trying to express. Just think, you have that power too! You can bear witness to what your friend, client, family member, or stranger at the grocery store is telling you. When you are open to truly hearing people, you will be amazed what they will share. I have had people working the drive-through window open up and spill their guts to me.

Another friend shared a video on FB. It was about grief. It expressed that, people who are going through a loss, do not want your advise or for you to tell them everything is going to be okay. They need you to witness their pain and be there for them. Let them cry and express themselves and know that, not only do you not have to fix it for them, you can’t fix it for them. Just hear them, accept them, be there with a shoulder to cry on and a ear to listen to them.

So how often in life do you really truly feel heard? It is a magical thing when it happens. We are often so distracted and busy multitasking that we do not give people the time and attention they deserve. If you are not feeling like you are getting what you need, there are a couple things you can do.

Find a group – it could be a group of friends, a support group, or a spiritual group. ‘Meet Up’ is full of groups for various types of activities and interests.
That really close friend – if you have a friend you can really talk to (not everyone does) tell them what you need. That you just really need them to listen to you and not fix it for you. That you just want to be heard.
Seek out a professional – maybe this is a counselor or a therapist, but it could be a great hair stylist, massage therapist, life couch, psychic, or medical professional. You know the professionals you work with and you know what area you need to be heard in. These people are use to listening and you are paying them for their time. They may be just who you need to talk to. Perhaps it is time to pay one of these people a visit.

Whether you are the person who needs to be heard or the one who needs to do the hearing, there is a wonderful gift to be had in such a simple act. We all sit on both sides of this table from time to time. Be aware of those you interact with. It may be you who are able to share this powerful gift with them. Perhaps, by you modeling how to truly hold the space for someone to share their inner most thoughts, you will also be teaching them to do that for others in the future.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you! May you always feel heard, as if by magic.

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Quality of Life; How To Find It and What It Means for You

As a hospice nurse, quality of life verse quantity of life, was something that often came up in discussion with patients and families. How do you want to live your life? What is an important focus for the time you have left here? You may not think this questions is relevant to you at this time, after all you are not dying, but this question is relevant to all of us. None of us know how much time we have left here. Even more importantly, sometimes quality of life and quantity of life are not the same thing.

According to Deepak Chopra, research shows that people who age well have 7 things in common.

They are:

Meditation
Wide social support systems
Close relationships with family and friends
Daily Multivitamin and mineral
Good sleep and daily activity
Life long curiosity
Take on new challenges

Deepak goes on to say that most of these things are about quality of life. Therefore having a good quality of life equates to having more quantity of life too. I have seen this first hand in hospice. Patients on hospice, on average, live about 30 days longer than similar patients with the same diagnoses. Shifting the focus from curative to quality of life, actually extends life.

So what makes quality of life so important? It makes life worth living. What is the point in having a long life if you are miserable? Do I think that this means you should eat everything you want, party, and abuse your body? No, absolutely not. Although those things may give you pleasure in the moment, the abuse to your body is likely not going to contribute to healthy quality of life over the long haul. These types of abuses to the body take a toll on it, which could potentially cause disease and frustration.

A better quality of life can be found by:

Working through you baggage
Forgiving others and more importantly yourself
Learning to truly love yourself
Making healthy choices for your body
Finding hope
Having balance
Surrounding yourself with people who respect you and make you feel heard
Trusting the flow of the Universe to support you
Awareness of yourself as an eternal being
Remaining positive whenever possible but also acknowledging your emotions

How do you feel your quality life is? What steps do you need to take to attain and maintain a healthy, happy, quality of life? Remember that happiness is an inside job! No one can “make” us feel happy. It is a choice we make in every moment and with each interaction. Live your best life now. Don’t wait for tomorrow.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you! May you have an amazing quality of life, as if by magic.

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Keeping Up With Healthy Initiatives When the Seasons Change

Healthy initiatives can seem energizing when you first start them. They give you hope of a better tomorrow and the good feeling in your heart of really doing something important for yourself. When Mother Nature sees fit to make changes in the seasons, it can throw a curve in your plans. Also seasonal holidays can seem like an excuse to no longer stay the course. Having a plan to combat these changes is the best way to not let them derail your progress.

If you follow my blog you probably know I have a number of healthy initiative all going at once. Taking Care of Me; Step By Step, is the blog that lays them all out if you are interested. My husband and I have been doing an excellent job getting our 10,000 steps in a day. We’re getting up and walking before work, then after work and again before bed, if we still need some more steps. This week we got snow here in MN. I wasn’t expecting it and upon waking discovered 3 inches of the pristine white stuff covering everything. I found it hard to want to get out an walk. I did eventually bundle up and head to the grocery store. I could have driven and it would have been quicker and warmer, but why not take care of 2 things at once. It was a nice sunny day. The bright sun reflected off the snow and I reflected on how to keep up with all that we are working on, despite time marching on.

I am a wonderful “justifier” and snow seems like a great reason to justify skipping a walk. Having a plan in place helps keep you on task. Just like with the intermittent fasting that we are working on. There is always a justified reason to not stay the course; family in town, a special gathering, or an appointment that throws a kink in things. Recently, when my brother visited, we met him early each morning for breakfast. I always look forward to this annual visit and our early morning breakfast and conversation. As his visit neared, I started to fret about what to do about the intermittent fasting and the fact the fact that I wait until 10am before I break my fast. In the end I had a conversation with my brother, who was gracious and understanding. I still met him for breakfast and I enjoyed a nice cup of hot tea, while we had our usual time together and great conversation. Having a plan helped me stay the course. I have so far lost 15.4 pounds by sticking to the intermittent fasting.

Finances is another healthy initiative we are working on. The holiday season is fast approaching. This is the time of year when people often try to spend money to show someone how much they love them. Buying someone a gift, that they may not need or want, will not necessarily communicate your love and appreciation of them. I encourage you to come up with a plan on how to handle this time of year. Start a savings account that you add to throughout the year. Set a budget for gifts and holiday groceries and stick to it. Find innovated ways to show your love and appreciation for those you care so dearly about. Start a conversation with your friends and family about other ways to celebrate your love and appreciation like agreeing to volunteer together as a family. Make an understanding about gifts and a cost limit. Give homemade gifts infused with good intentions and lots of love. There are so many options.

As soon as you decide to focus on a healthy initiative, something will come up to throw you off course. Try to think about what these things may be. Make a plan for them. Remember that healthy initiates are not things we do just for today or tomorrow. These are things we incorporate into our life an become our new standard of living. To ensure success at improving our life, we need to think about how to remain faithful to ourselves. We need to make ourselves a priority by having a plan to keep our momentum moving forward.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you! May all your plans come easily, so that you stay the course, and reach the goals you set for yourself, as if by magic.

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This Mystical Magical Life

There is magic in this world. I know this to be true. I have seen it time and time again. Some might call it miracles or God and others maybe would call it happy accidents. Whatever you call it, it is inspiring. Think about a time when something happened so serendipitous that you knew it had to be Divinely guided. I always feel a bit more hopeful after something like this happens. After the Universe (AKA God) plops magic down into our life to give us something amazing.

The innate individuality between people, especially children, is one of the things that feels absolutely magical to me. How they naturally form different interests, different outlooks and different talents. Watch two small children about the same age. When they are very young, they are completely themselves. A tune to the wonders of living as life has not yet slapped them into conforming with everyone else. You will see two youngsters that have very different ways to interact with the world around them.

Sometimes it is a magical opportunity. Suddenly, without even trying, this amazing opportunity will pop up. Maybe it is a volunteer opportunity that calls to your soul or a dream job, a great chance to purchase something you never thought you would be able to afford or a once in a lifetime event you can attend. When these things seem to come out of the blue, how could we not appreciate the “magic” in this world.

Last night my husband and I went on a walk. We had a very magical experience, that we never expected, when we bundled up and set off to face a cold night. As we were walking we heard; “who who who who” and then it would repeat. I knew, with a sparkle in my eye, that there was an owl nearby. We started walking toward the sound but then didn’t hear it any longer. We continued on our walk when my husband noticed the sound again. As we looked toward where we thought the sound was coming from I saw a large horned owl on the very top of a high evergreen tree. When we walked towards it, it flew into the neighboring tree, where we saw there was another. They were busy talking back and forth. My spirit was light and I was full of Joy. Owls are not readily seen because of their nocturnal nature and especially in the city. I love owls and was so thrilled to have the Universe deliver this magical experience into my life. As we walked we could hear them hooting. They seemed to be taking the walk with us and followed us as we went.

From the extraordinary to the seemingly mundane, magical events, things, and people float in and out of our life, leaving a trace of the mystical by touching our soul. They remind us of the Divinity all around us. The Divinity that is a part of us as we are a part of it.

Thank you for reading my blog today. I love you. May your life be filled with mystical, inspiring moments, as if by magic.

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